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Joe Rogan is a self-help guru

Joe Rogan has been blogging up a storm lately, and a lot of the stuff he talks about reads like a self-help / motivational book written by someone who loves dick and fart jokes. In short, it’s endlessly amusing stuff you can kinda sorta apply to your own life:

You ever think back to some shit you did years ago, and you still feel pathetic from it? There are a few memories of dumb shit I’ve done in my life that just continue to haunt me, no matter how many years go by. I know objectively that as a human being there are certain mistakes that you have to make in life to grow from them, but there’s just part of me that doesn’t want to admit that I was ever that fucking retarded.

I think that’s why some people fuck up a bunch when they’re young, and they never really get on track in life. It’s like the memory of their fuck ups are just too powerful for them to respect that who they are now is a different, more evolved person. They just think of the shame of what they’ve done in the past and get stuck with that self-definition.

I think that’s one of the reasons why a discipline, especially for a man, is very important for self definition. Whatever it is; be it martial arts, or playing the guitar, or whatever – having something that’s very difficult that you focus all your energy on can redefine your view of yourself and make you forgive yourself for the time you farted in that girl’s car.

That was one of my personal, “what a loser” memories. I farted in a girl’s car and ruined an otherwise very fun date once when I was 21. It was just such a complete rookie move on my part. The young lady in question was this really hot girl that I had liked for a while, and it took me a while to have the balls to ask her out. We went out, and for whatever reason she was driving. We had a good time on the date, and she seemed really nice, although it did weird me out for a second how freely she referred to herself as having a “nigger ass.” Either way, a little uncomfortable racism in no way deserves the punishment I put her olfactory senses through when I shit myself in her car.

Joe goes into full details on what happened and how he grew into a better person because he sharted himself. I think we’ve all had moments like that … sometimes an embarassing release of bodily fluids or gasses is neccessary to mature and grow. One time I got so drunk I wasn’t sure if I’d peed myself or spilled a drink on my crotch. The fact that I wasn’t sure meant something. What a magical journey of self-discovery that evening at Hooters turned out to be.