twitter google

Jon Jones believes in magical thinking

Jon Jones is a pretty amazing fighter, but boy is he good at opening his mouth and spouting crap that drives me nuts. From USA Today: “Jon Jones uses ‘law of attraction’ to sign big Nike deal.”

“The Nike deal means a lot to me,” Jones told “It symbolizes something that I have been picturing forever. I preach about the law of attraction all the time and how if you focus on something and you apply yourself, if you do all the necessary steps and believe in it wholeheartedly, it can come to you.”

That’s right, Jon Jones is a fan of the law of attraction, better known in wingbat circles as The Secret. Here’s how it works: think hard enough about something and the universe will deliver it to you. I feel really bad for the people in Syria. They must be thinking about getting slaughtered by their government all the time. If only they knew that they should be picturing lucrative sneaker endorsements.

Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson knows the deal. He once got so hopped up on energy drinks and The Secret that he thought he had killed one of his friends with his mind. The monster truck rampage / arrest was all as Jackson crossed town to give a Secret DVD to that friend. So watch out where you point those laws of attraction, kids!

The most interesting thing to me when it comes to the laws of attraction is how so many Christians seem down with it. Last I checked, Jesus never said ‘Thought vibrations can manifest if you concentrate hard enough.’ His line is more of a ‘Trust in me and my dad and maybe good things happen, maybe they won’t. They probably won’t, but it’ll be worth it to get into heaven.’ In fact, the law of attraction sounds suspiciously similar to witchcraft. Which makes Jon Jones a wizard. In Nike sponsored robes.

  • voice of reason

    In the paraphrased words of Dave Chappelle

    ‘if that’s true then i guess the starving kids in africa just ain’t thinking about food hard enough!’

  • noiseless

    this guy..

  • Reverend Clint

    maybe instead of using the law of attraction he just tried hard and got lucky.

  • Letibleu

    Wow, another level of douche. This guy is turning out to be arrogant, cocky, overconfident, greedy, a liar, a hypocrite and now a total douche. In other words Michael Bisping on TRT.

    I want a dominant champion at 205, but do they make a humble honest appreciative model?

    Being champion HAS gone to his head, he is full of himself which also probably means he isnt giving like he used to in training. If he bought into his own hype, Dan the man might have a chance.

    Im gonna root for a good ole Hendo H bomb. Unlikely though and if Hendo loses im betting he will give a retirement speech after the fight (if he is not carted off on a stretcher).

    *insert picture of JJ walking around the airport with his championship belt on*

  • voice of reason

    bisping’s arrogant and dickish but at least he’s real, unlike fake jon jones

  • shane

    I want dan to knock him out now. And for him to loose his nike contract. then his wife leave him, then we can all blame him for manifesting it all.

    Thats the problem with this “Secret” bullshit. It allows us all to blame the fuckin victims for manifesting their own victimization.

  • TheButtStrangler

    “Jon Jones is a pretty amazing fighter,..”

    Ryan said Jon Jones is a “pretty amazing fighter”.

  • variable

    Well, he must have been thinking really hard about telephone poles earlier this year, cause he attracted one right into his car.

  • iamphoenix

    jones is la tarded