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Jon Jones makes it hard to not clown him

Remember when you were a kid; there was always a guy in the neighborhood whose mom would call the other moms to get their kids to stop picking on her baby, or to invite him to birthday parties and stuff. As well-intentioned as this mom may have been, all she really accomplished was making her kid’s life even more of a living hell than it already was. Kids, being the nasty little spawns of Satan that they are, just went at their target harder after that. But a child has an excuse.

Now, an adult? A badass fighting machine? The UFC light-heavyweight champion? Not only is there no excuse, but it’s downright unfathomable. This is the latest mortifying situation Jon Jones finds himself in after a Wrestling Observer article claims he called daddy Dana to tell Chael Sonnen to stop picking on him:

“Jones was very upset after Chael began calling him out and mocking him on Twitter, going as far as to contact White and ask him to tell Chael to stop.”

In the kid scenario, the only way he could ever end the misery is to walk up to one of his tormenters and knock his teeth down his throat. But maybe he was small in stature, or just didn’t have that in him. He may have required intervention. A UFC champion who is not only bigger than everyone in his division, has already beat the living shit out of his top opponents, and whose tormentor is a smaller man possessing not even a puncher’s chance of whooping him doesn’t exactly fit the same bill. And after all the Twitter anguish young Jon was forced to endure, he was given the chance to face his smaller, infinitely less-skilled tormenter in the cage, and he declined.

So the appropriate question isn’t: Why are all the mean kids picking on Jon Jones? The question is: What the hell is up with this guy?

  • G Funk

    Why are you beating a dead horse?

    I read the article you quoted which quoted another article. That “quote” might as well have come from the misty fields of heaven as there is no face/name or inclining of where that quote came from.

    Good writing Tony GG. You have a spray tan, don’t you?

  • voice of reason

    He’s just an extremely insecure asshole. A lot of fake people, the ones that are always fronting saying holier-than-thou shit like i’ll bear the cross, etc do it because they’re assholes BUT unlike regular assholes that don’t care, they’re VERY afraid of what people think of them and so they try to ‘fix’ the image to be what they were taught as ‘good’ , in jones case it’s jesus and being humble even though he’s the most arrogant fighter ever….he was taught that humble=good so altho he isn’t he fakes it to appear ‘good’ cos he’s so afraid of being the ‘bad guy’….all of which makes us hate him even more

  • Reverend Clint

    the mind of a child the body of a huge scary black man… he is basically Lennie from Of Mice and Men.

  • variable

    Unnecessary article, we already knew Jon Jones was bitch made.

  • Letibleu

    I like the unlikable JJ much more than the fake likable one.

  • Oontyex

    reminds me of cartman doing ‘but moooom then they wont think im coooool’

  • http://www.mattpolly.com matthewpolly

    Everyone who knows Jones says the only person who can derail his career is himself. He’s an unbelievably talented head case. Chael may have unlocked the only viable strategy to beat him. Get into his head.

  • bakapoki

    Hahaha – I could read stories making of Jon Jones all day long. MOAR PLEASE.

  • goldenarms

    dana has a plan. turn jones into lebron. the bad guy. image is shot. ppl will pay to see him lose, which wont happen. cha ching x 10

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