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Jon Jones pleads guilty

In what I’m sure is shocking news to you all, Jon Jones will not go to jail or suffer any serious consequences for driving his car into a telephone pole while drunk. UFC Tonight has the details:

“What’s next for Jon is he has to stay out of trouble, between now and June 19th. He also has to take an alcohol evaluation between now and June 19th. On June 19th, he is due to appear back in Binghamton City court. That is when he will receive his plea bargain.

Now, his plea bargain is essentially this: He must stay out of trouble for a year. He must undergo these sort of alcohol sensitivity classes, to understand what could happen to a victim if they do drive while impaired. He must also pay any damages that his accident caused. On top of that, he must also put something in his car called an ‘ignition interlock device,’ which essentially means that between now and the next year, any time he drives his car, he will have to take a breathalyzer test to make sure he is not driving while impaired.

He has also had his license suspended indefinitely. If he does agree to all this, and everything’s good between now and June 19th, he will not face any further charges. He won’t go to jail, he just has to pay a very small fine, a maximum of $1,500.”

Wait, so he’s gotta puff into a car breathalyzer for the next year, but his license is suspended indefinitely? Doesn’t make much sense to me, but it’s probably a good idea considering Bones seems to have no issue driving without a license.

  • mrehohl

    I don’t know about the law where Jones is being punished. But some states do allow a person who is has their license suspended to receive a provisional license that allows them to drive only under certain circumstances, i.e. to and from work or school.

  • Letibleu

    Where  I live, in many cases not paying a parking ticket can result in more severe punishment long term than a DUI.

  • Reverend Clint

    where i live you get a DUI they rape you in front of the school

  • Letibleu

    Wonder what the job decription is for that position? ‘County multisexual rapist’?

  • ButtHorn

    I did it!

    I saw that fucking telephone pole and all I saw was anger and red!

    I’m so fagitass sorry yure honer,
    (But I’d do it again! That sunofabitch telephone pole was begging for it!)

  • Giallo

    For fuck sakes man. what’s wrong with you, not one of your posts makes sense

  • ButtHorn


  • ButtHorn

    ““Fucking huge I say, 2 lunatics blitzkrieging it out.””



    I think he has to pay for that interlock device to be installed and then he has to pay a monthly rental or maintenance fee of some sort. I remember hearing about them but can’t remember the cost. Probably won’t put a dent in his wallet but it would suck for your average Joe. I’m sure the state gets a hefty kickback from the company who operates those things.

  • Giallo

    Blitzkrieg (German, “lightning war”; About this sound listen (help·info)) is an anglicised word[1][2][3][Notes 1] describing all-motorised force concentration
    of tanks, infantry, artillery, combat engineers and air power,
    concentrating overwhelming force at high speed to break through enemy
    lines, and, once the lines are broken, proceeding without regard to its
    flank. Through constant motion, the blitzkrieg attempts to keep its
    enemy off-balance, making it difficult to respond effectively at any
    given point before the front has already moved on….

    Straight from wiki man, not my fault you don’t understand the reference .

  • Reverend Clint

    id just start drinking in my van after the breathalyzer

  • noiseless

    i see all the bullshit is taken care of, so i guess i’ll..see you guys later!

  • ButtHorn

    “id just start drinking in my van after the breathalyzer”

    See now thats where I always get things bass ackwards.

  • Voice of Reason

    He was driving with 2 ‘hot’ women in his car. Mr. Good Role Model’s got some explaining to do to his fiance…

  • iamphoenix

    On Yahoo news the headline was Jon Jones: Pole Smasher.

  • Giallo

  • Letibleu