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Kalib Starnes just ran his way out of the UFC

Lots of people just like to post the gif and call him stupid, but I wanted to talk a little bit more about Kalib Starnes’ performance at UFC. As you know, Starnes spent the entire night backpeddling during his fight with Nate Quarry, and didn’t do a single effective thing during the entire bout. Quarry kicked the shit out of his leg and stepped in to deliver short bursts of striking, but was never able to corner Starnes and simply seemed unwilling to risk getting caught ‘chasing’ after the guy. In short, the fight sucked balls, but was instantly redeemed as a fight I’ll never forget because over the last 30 seconds Quarry mocked Starnes with mime running and what I like to call ‘the retarded elephant’. He even did it again after the final bell.

There’s some people out there saying that Quarry shouldn’t have done that, especially after the fight. They seem to feel like once a fight is over all hostility should immediately just disappear into the ether as if it never existed. To me though, I actually think what Starnes did was worse than any kind of smack talk or disrespect before the fight. After mulling it over I came to a simple conclusion: going into a fight and then not fighting is perhaps the shittiest thing you can do to your opponent.

Nate Quarry spent months training for this fight. And that’s not easy training either … fighters often say the actual match is the easy part, it’s kicking your ass day in day out during training that’s the real bitch. To spend all that time working and training and eating bullshit food and sucking back endless supplements and suffering through making weight, and then get into the cage with someone who backpedals for 15 minutes must be FUCKING INFURIATING.

Dana White said it best during the post-event conference: “Kalib Starnes is going to wake up tomorrow and wish he’d fought a different fight.” Honestly, it’ll be a miracle if we see this guy back in the UFC after that performance. It’s hard to imagine a way he could have performed worse. Perhaps if he had ended the fight with a Mark Kerr style takedown which resulted in knocking himself out? Not even, because at least then we could have said he tried something at the end. But to do nothing … to do absolutely nothing … it’s mind boggling.

  • Atom

    As Mike_N said in the forums, perhaps his leg had taken more damage than it appeared. Its easier to believe that than the fact that we saw Kalib’s gameplan executed to the fullest. Also… he did try to close the distance or take Nate down a few times, just too few and far in between.

    Did anyone else notice that Quarry seemed to be about 1.5 weight classes above Starnes. Perhaps he’s in the wrong division.

  • DonnyG

    Kalib has reportedly stated that he was protesting fighter pay in the UFC. That is why he wouldn’t fight.

  • threenutsinabag

    So to protest ur pay u rip the fans off? Tie a steak around his nuts, spray his dick with hot dog grease and let him run around the octagon with a pack of hungry indian reserve dogs.

  • tony@rbd

    I like “retard elephant”, but I am partial to “wobo-hammo-fist”.

  • dignan

    Or…Starnes is and always will be a fucking pussy.

    I knew there would be some lame fucking excuse.

    I hurt my rib: I can’t fight.
    I cut my head: I can’t fight
    I am protesting for larger pay for fighters: I won’t fight.

    Followed by an onslaught of Fuck You Faggots! to the crowd and Quarry’s corner. I believe it was the same stuff he said to the American Top Team guys who were in his corner during his last fight.

    Obviously, Starnes believes everything should be given in the world of MMA. You don’t earn anything, or work your way up…you just act like a fighter and get paid like a fucking champion.

    Just imagine: Jordan as a rookie playing like shit and demanding more money and a championship. Gretzky demanding a Stanley Cup and a big cheque….what a lame ass.

    This isn’t a Rosa Parks situation…it’s fucking MMA where you fight(do a sport) for a living.

    The bottom line is, he is a pussy and pussed out no matter what excuse he has. If he wanted more pay he should tried to whoop ass and than jump ship or play the contract game with UFC. He was on his way out, and has always believed his own hype.


  • garth

    starnes sure didn’t look like he had a hurt leg!

  • #1 jackal

    if i am not mistaking i think the 3 stooges started the whole fight like a “retarded elephant”.

  • ninjitsu

    I just want to point out that a cage fight is one of the few times in life when it’s socially acceptable to physically punish someone for making fun of you. Giving him the finger in the middle of a fight rather than responding with a punch to the face is…cowardly.

    Kalib, next time use your fists, not your mouth. Not that there will be a next time…

  • koolpaw

    OMG fightlinker got serious !
    Come on, it was kinda historical fight of MMA, maybe Kalib had some reasons to run in the cage.
    or…. i should say like:

    “It seems the Canadian style” ?

    ooops now u can call me a “L”aicist !

  • garth

    that was the fucked up part about the tard-dash…quarry did it for SO LONG. starnes had a perfect opening to smack him one upside the head, yet he just kept running.

  • andres

    Pussy is cut from his contract go to 5o p son go

  • ajadoniz

    Starnes ran AWAY from the retarded elephant. A-HOLE.

  • operator

    Koolpaw I have to disagree if it was Canadian style he would have slipped and hurt his knee like Pat Cote.

  • Asa

    What if we start a petition to have him declared the #1 contender. Above the Okamis, Franklins, and Maias is the greatest MW in the history of the sport – Kaleb Starnes!

    We can claim his elusive style is the only one that can destroy Anderson Silva. We could lie and say he promised to punch Momma Anderson in the face while wiping his ass with the Brazilian flag.

    Any takers?

  • danaunclefesterwhite

    Starnes had only one fight on his contract left, just like Arlovski. Arlovski won his last fight and now he’s a free agent. So why did Starnes purposely lose like that? It makes no sense. Even if he won, he would still be a free agent and he can go sign with EliteXC anyway. If he wanted to protest fighter pay he could have ranted about it after the fight and said that there needs to be a union or something.

  • Rock Quarry

    Fairly well written with one exception. I did not do the “Rock Hammer” after the final bell. I did it at the ten second bell UNTIL the final bell. I had always told myself that I would rather be knocked out than win a boring decision so in my mind this was his opportunity to take me out.
    George Foreman once said regarding his fight against Ali that he never took a step backwards. A fighter fights. That’s what we’re born to do. I’m not going to judge Kalib because it’s not my place to do so. All I know is that I did the best I could. In every fight I’ve ever been in. Whether it’s a first round knock out or a first round knock out of me. You have to believe you will win until the ref stops the fight. Plain and simple.