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Ken Shamrock hits satirical levels of lameness

The sign of a good satire is when the article leaves you wondering “What the fuck … is this real? I mean, it doesn’t sound like it’s real, but then again it very well could be real.” Typically we’re the ones making people wonder that but today it’s that has news from Ken Shamrock which is so retarded there’s simply no way it can be true: Hey, Ken. This is quite a thrill for me. I’ve been following your career since UFC 1. I know you have a fight coming up next month. Who are you fighting?

Ken Shamrock: I’m fighting Bo Cantrell. The original plan was to fight John Marsh but he couldn’t get ready in time. So Bo Cantrell was another opponent that we also thought would be a good fight and he stepped up to the plate. So we’re going to step up and fight Bo Cantrell on February 13th in Fresno, California. And it’s going the Valentine’s Day massacre, Friday the 13th. Sounds like a horror movie title

Ken Shamrock: (Laughs) Yep.

You may or may not remember Bo Cantrell as the guy who took a dive in Kimbo Slice’s first official MMA fight (his bout with Ray Mercer was technically an exhibition). So come on now … there’s no way Ken Shamrock could really be taking on Cantrell, is there? That has to be a joke, right? Right???