Apparently, some MMA fans are dumber than dirt – they think that Kimbo’s beard is an unfair advantage that absorbs punching power.
Yes, for real. I shit thee not.
When I first read about this on CagePotato, I thought “No way in fucking hell did anyone really think this. It must just be some attention grabbing bullshit.” But lo and behold, do a couple of google searches and you will find numerous threads on lots of different message boards where intellectual champions argue the finer points of beard physics. Sherdog.net at least had the decency to delete a lot of these (you know your thread is dumb when…), but Google Cache is your friend. I can now rest easy knowing that if I die in ass surgery today, you guys will have enough funny MMA content to last you at least a week or two. Or three.
The ‘controversy’ got so big that Bas Rutten even responded to the topic:
This is a beard from hair for crying out loud. If you believe this than you have to believe also that Kimbo has also less speed because the beard is not aerodynamic and will slow his head movement down, so that will make up for the impact absorbing BS, hahaha, man, they should glue some hair on air bags, people now will survive the crash because the one layer of beard took the impact away.
I have to believe that this whole thing is being perpetrated by retarded 13 year olds. I have to. My faith in humanity on an average day is shaky at best. Darfur, slave labor, the rape and pillaging of the earth’s natural resources. And now people think beards protect you from punches. I weep, people. I weep.