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Kimo not getting CSAC job; arrested for meth

Is this supposed to deter me from doing meth? Because I love my women with high cheekbones and a blank stare that says “I’ll cut your guts out with a screwdriver without batting an eyelash. Want a blowjob or what?”

A few weeks ago, Kimo Leopoldo put out a press release online that was essentially a job application. He noticed that the California State Athletic Commission operates like its decisions are made by malnourished farm animals (turns out they are) and decided he could do a good job as the Executive Officer. Or at least a better job than is currently being done.

Please accept this letter as the submission of my written qualifications for the application of the position of Executive Officer for the [CSAC]. …As a 14 year veteran in the professional kickboxing and MMA industry, I believe I hold a heightened degree of expertise in understanding and working with fighters, matchmakers, managers, [lists more types of MMA people to the point of redundancy] on an international and national level.

If it wasn’t obvious enough that Kimo (or should I call him Candidate Leopoldo?) had about as good a chance of getting the job as a deaf guy does of winning a hearing contest, he went ahead and put a giant fucking nail in the coffin to really seal the deal: he just got arrested for possession of meth. Fucking meth. Nothing says “don’t hire me” to prospective employers like having meth charges on your record. Except kid touching. They really look down on that. At least Kimo’s not a kid toucher.

Meth is some fucking bullshit too. This isn’t pop’s highly addictive/destructive drug. Taking just a small amount can result in increased wakefulness, increased physical activity, decreased appetite, increased respiration, rapid heart rate, irregular heartbeat, increased blood pressure, and hyperthermia. Fun! Doing that shit for a while can cause extreme weight loss, severe dental problems, anxiety, confusion, insomnia, mood disturbances, violent behavior, paranoia, visual and auditory hallucinations, and delusions. Granted, no one caught Kimo actually doing meth — just “possessing” it — but I’m going to jump ahead and say that he wasn’t simply carrying it for a friend.

Basically, doing meth is just like hanging out with War Machine, except more hallucinations and not as many gay bar assaults. Pick your poison.