King Mo accidentally bought steroids off the shelf

Yesterday, some cynical people among us had one of those moments like the time we realized that babies aren’t actually made by peeing inside of a woman’s vagina. We thought we had everything figured out, but it turns out that we were totally wrong. Many people assumed that when King Mo claimed that he had no idea what this “Drostanolone” stuff was and that someone must have slipped it into his supplements, he was proving the fact that his supplement regimen also includes massive quantities of bull manure.

But according to an interview that King Mo and his manager Mike Kogan gave to Ariel Helwani on The MMA Hour, he might actually not be lying:

“I don’t believe we’ll actually file an appeal per se,” Kogan told Helwani. “What we will file is an answer, and an answer would involve affirming their test results and providing our findings and our explanation.”

The guilty party, according to Kogan and Lawal, is a supplement called S-Mass Lean Gainer by Rock Solid, which Lawal said he bought at a Max Muscle store in California… It was recommended to him by a Max Muscle employee some time in April of 2010, he said, though it’s since been removed from the market.

“To the best of my research, this product was taken off the shelves some time in mid-2011, for exactly the same reason that we’re facing right now. Its primary and only relevant ingredient of that particular product is a substance known as Methyldrostanolone, which is basically just a pill form of Drostanolone,” Kogan said.

“When I went to Max Muscle, I figured you can’t buy steroids at a Max Muscle. It’s a chain store,” he said. “That’s like going to a grocery store and buying something illegal there. …I guess that’s the mistake I made. When I looked at the bottle, it just had a bunch of numbers on it. It had the ingredients. I didn’t see anything that looked illegal on the bottle, to be honest with you.”

Fair enough, but it doesn’t take much googling to figure out that S-Mass Lean Gainer was marketed as the “most powerful designer anabolic ever created… S-Mass represents a quality designer anabolic and an affordable price… If you want the lean hard look, S-Mass is the product for you.” (By the way, If you want to buy some, just follow the link.) So it’s not like we’re talking about simple wheat grass or natural twigs or something here. When the bottle says something like “OMG YOU WILL MAGICALLY GET RIPPED BY THIS UBER-ANABOLIC AGENT”, then maybe, just maybe, you ought to check out the ingredients against the banned substances list.

Of course, concepts like methyl groups would probably signify the wrong class of drugs to someone like King Mo, and King Mo would probably also assume that “oral bioavailability” means… something other than how steroids get into your system. That’s why the World Anti-Doping Agency has a handy dandy iPhone app that helps athletes carry around a list of banned substances to check ingredient labels against. With tools like that on the market, no one should ever again be able to claim ignorance on a steroid bust. Now the only foolproof way to use steroids will be to cut off one of your testicles.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Ahhh, I see the problem.

  • thingvolds

    i personally never heard of anyone testing positive for masteron from taking superdrol. i don’t find it all that hard to believe, but i doubt that is what happened. the shit he was taking, he probably didn’t get that shit at max muscle recently like he claims. not off the shelf, at least. i haven’t seen that shit on the shelf in a long time. online yeah, but not in retail stores.

    i noticed some people are all pissed off about king mo testing positive, or lying about it, or whatever. idk why they’re so mad. they’re all juicing (except nick diaz), king mo just got caught. i guess he could’ve just admitted it, but that doesn’t help anyone. it doesn’t help the ufc and it certainly doesn’t help the fighter. didn’t thiago silva admit it, then get a two year suspension?

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