Luke Thomas has no testicles

Yeah, you heard me. The site operator of BloodyElbow.com is steering his website without a pair in his pants. How do I know this? Because he’s always picking the safe bets on UFC fights. For example, he thinks Diego ‘Tiger’ Sanchez is gonna beat Jon ‘I hate my life and have to wash dishes to make ends meet’ Fitch. While this is a reasonable assumption for the average TUF noob, I was expecting better from you, Luke.

So to help him learn a lesson and hopefully stimulate the growth of some nuts, I’m throwing down the gauntlet: Let’s make a bet. When Jon Fitch wins, you’ll have to record the following statement that I get to play on my radio show:

Hi, I’m Luke Thomas and I’m a recovering TUF Noob. I used to have a brain when it came to mixed martial arts but then I got blinded by Diego Sanchez’ beautiful eyes and sexy Mexicano moustache. Entranced by his feminine grace on the Ultimate Fighter, I forgot that all guys from TUF are losers like me and will never accomplish anything in life. I made the ultimate mistake in betting against Fightlinker (who’s always right about everything), and now I have to record this message to say: I’m stupid and have no balls, but I’m trying to be sweet and totally awesome like Fightlinker. I’ll never bet on Diego Sanchez again, unless it is in some kind of homosexual rodeo competition. Fightlinker is God, I am scum.

Luke, if by some miraculous fluke my guy dies of a aneurysm or blows out his knee or God really is on Diego’s side and smites Fitch with a lightning bolt, you can have whatever you want. Name your wager and I’ll take it. This shit is on like Donkey Kong.

  • kentyman

    Nice.

  • http://MMACritique.blogspot.com Thomas

    Is public stoning out of the question?

  • http://ufcmania.com/category/jesse-holland-eight-sides-to-every-ufc-story/ Jesse Holland

    Luke looks like Tom Green in that pic…”Daddy would you like some sausage?”

  • Matt

    Chest hair sandwiches in my opinion

  • http://www.ufcdaily.com UFCDaily.com

    Couldn’t agree more Jesse, ever since this picture was put up a while back I thought he looked like Green.

  • http://fightersonlymag.com Hywel Teague

    I care not for your inter-blog rivalries, only that I REALLY want to hear someone read that out loud…

    preferably in a voice like that of Ron Burgundy…

  • defranger

    If you read it as Ron Burgendy you have to slip in the question mark at the end so it sounds like “I am scum?”

  • http://fightersonlymag.com Hywel Teague

    and finish it with
    ‘go fuck yourself, bloody elbow’

  • http://www.bloodyelbow.com/ Luke

    I look nothing like Tom Green. No one – ever – has even suggested that.

    As for your challenge, you’re on your own. Do I feel comfortable picking Diego to win? Only slightly. It’s not a runaway thing. I took your bet with Stout vs. Fisher because you retardedly thought Stout was going to win. I’m FAR less certain about this, although I do give the edge to Diego.

    In fairness, I owe you another bet. It’s the only way to be even remotely equitable. But I’m not risking it on this one.

    If you’d like to call me testicle-free, proceed. All I know is that you still think Ken Shamrock could beat Fedor if “someone would just give him a chance”, which, as you know, only the savviest of fight experts believe. Good luck tomorrow! Maybe next time fellas.

  • Fightliker_Fan

    ^^^^ You were right…no testicles!

  • ted dibiase

    lmao. ken shamrock would beat fedor. lmao

    please tell me you dont think this fightlinker

  • ted dibiase

    btw- i dont think he looks like tom green in that pic. he actually looks like diego sanchez…. if he had down syndrome

  • Tommy

    So what happens now that Fitch didn’t make weight and if he can’t lose that last lb?

  • http://www.bloodyelbow.com/ Luke
  • Tommy

    I don’t know Luke. Seems to me several people here have already suggested it. So you can’t say no one ever.

  • http://www.fightlinker.com fightlinker

    Don’t worry … Luke will have his comeuppance sooner or later. The question is: is there anyone else who reads the site who thinks Diego’s gonna win, and what kind of terms are they willing to agree to betwise????????

    IS THIS A TESTICLE FREE ZONE????

  • Tommy

    I’ll be suprised if Diego lasts to the final buzzer personally.

  • http://www.bloodyelbow.com/ Luke

    “I don’t know Luke. Seems to me several people here have already suggested it. So you can’t say no one ever.”

    Right, “Tommy”, because lord knows they’re using the highly objective picture above, flattering as it is and everything. I mean, I wouldn’t DARE disagree with a bunch of comment posters using such a rigorously scientific method to determine my look-a-like when I’ve been staring in a mirror for 28 years. And that pic, I mean, talk about catching me in natural light.

    Thanks for sorting that out.

  • http://www.fightlinker.com fightlinker

    Luke *TOTALLY* looks like Tom Green

  • Tommy

    I thought you were hysterical when you tried to make out with that snake.

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