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Lyoto Machida to Switch to Lower Calorie Urine, Cut to 185

Lyoto Machida to Switch to Lower Calorie Urine, Cut to 185

Former light-heavyweight champ Lyoto Machida, known for his formidable karate-based style and his penchant for drinking urine, will be making the cut down to middleweight to face former Strikeforce fighter and living GI Joe action figure Tim Kennedy. The match-up will occur at UFC Fight for the Troops 3 on November 6 at Fort Campbell, K.Y.

The trip down a weight class comes on the heels of a controversial decision loss to Phil Davis at UFC 163 – a loss many attribute to the declining effectiveness of Machida’s elusive style, and also the fact that he drinks pee, which is gross. But regardless of his recent struggles, the move to 185 pounds may give “The Dragon” the boost he needs to get back in the title hunt; he was never a large light-heavyweight, but at middleweight he would likely sport a significant size advantage over his peers. And also, none of them would be used to his stanky pee breath.

“The weight cut won’t be an issue,” said Machida in stilted English to no one. “I will just drink urine with less calories. Diet pee, if you will.”

  • Doogie Howser, M.D.

    This stinks smelly butt! Never post again! The world used to be less terrible. It’s much warmer than it used to be around here.

    Something about diarrhoea and conjoined, aborted foetuses.

  • wootsMcGain

    If the writer is lucky he won’t ever meet Machida and try this in person.

  • iamphoenix

    I wish I could throw a potato in your face so you peel it and cook me up a batch of french fries you bitch.

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