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Matt Lindland’s political record: 1-0

Proving that the winds of change truly are blowing through America, Matt Lindland won the Republican nomination for the Oregon House of Representatives, trouncing the bitch who tried to smear him by claiming he was a felon.

According to, Lindland won in decisive fashion, garnering 57% of the vote in comparison to Thiemann’s 43%. A total of 2,410 registered Republicans came out to support Lindland, while Thiemann recorded 1,803 votes.

Lindland will now move onto the general election, where he will take on the winner of the Democratic primary, Suzanne VanOrman.

VanOrman won her nomination in overwhelming fashion by registering 82% of the total votes cast. A total of 5,468 Democrats turned out to register their vote for VanOrman.

While things may look grim comparing the number of votes Matt got in comparison to VanOrman, you have to factor in the fact that many Republicans didn’t bother showing up to vote since the main vote that people care about – the one for Republican presidential nominee – is already dealt with. On the other hand, the Democratic nomination is still up in the air for some retarded reason. And I bang my head against the table every day because of it.

  • clint notestine

    Damn Republicans and their boring lay ‘n pray.

  • Denton

    I bang my head for the reason why people won’t give Bill a 3rd term. Yeah I know what you’re going to say, “but shit was so fucked up back then compared to now!”. Yeah, yeah, I used to have anxiety attacks too when America had a “surplus” but now I sleep like a baby at night thinking about it’s huge debt, climbing perpetually everyday. Just think though, if that pot smokin, intern bangin, hell raisin’ sonuvabitch was here all this time instead of Bush we probably wouldn’t be involved in America’s greatest investment & shining triumph (Iraq, obviously!), the very wealthy might not have their tax cuts as well the big oil companies. Plus we probably wouldn’t be giving billions to private military companies. WTF kind of world would that be. Alright, diatribe over. Sorry.

    Congrats to Mr. Lindland though, shit I hope it doesn’t affect his fighting career too substantially. Hopefully he will represent his party better than the majority of his constituents, which of course he will.

  • danaunclefesterwhite

    Congrats to Lindland. However Oregon is a Blue State so Lindland will probably be smoked in the actual election.

  • danaunclefesterwhite

    Whoops, I seem to be misinformed. The Republicans do badly in the US House but are actually very close to the Democrats in the Oregon House. And his district was won by a Republican last time. So Lindland has a good chance at being elected if he doesn’t screw up.

  • el feo XIII

    no need for alarm…Obama’s got it sown up.
    I had to explain to my Dutch Oma, who supported Hillary, that she refused to admit her own mistake in voting for the Iraq occupation, and if she had done that from the very beginning, she would have won EASILY.

    I want to see Lindland wear his VOTE FOR ME gear into the Affliction ring.