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Michael Bisping thinks that Mayhem Monkeys are children, wants to buy Mayhem a beer

We all witnessed the venerably infectious personality of Michael Bisping when he &feature=player_embedded” target=”_blank”>told UFC fans to go fuck themselves at the weighins for the TUF 14 finale. Well, ok, change “venerably” to “venereally” and then we’re talking. But after Bisping absolutely destroyed Jason “Mayhem” Miller on Saturday, he was gracious and humble during the post-fight interview. Maybe he acted so unlike his true self because of the fact that Dana White admonished the fighters after the weighins, in a delightful turn of phrase that reminded us of Dana’s contrived, uncomfortable demeanor on the UFC on FOX broadcast, “Don’t fucking cuss on TV!” Or maybe Bisping was a gentleman right after the fight because it’s just British custom.

During the backstage interviews after the event, however, the tension between being a natural dickhead and a forced gentleman proved too great, and Bisping lapsed into full-blown schizophrenia. He switched between being an asshole and a gentleman in ways both subtle and abrupt no less than 92,000 times during the 108 seconds of his postfight interview with MiddleEasy; the changes in his attitude were so frequent that you could actually hear them as a low-pitched whirring noise. Here’s what he has to say about the Mayhem Monkeys… and buying Miller a beer:

People talk about fans; the only people who support Jason Miller are his fans, and his fans are children. They call themselves the “Mayhem Monkeys”; come on, get a grip. I’m an adult. I have three children. If you want to cheer for me, cheer my fighting style, etc. If you want to cheer for a guy [who] calls himself a monkey and has a stupid hat, be my guest… Congratulations to Jason, he put on a good show. Jason’s a good showman and I wish him all the best. If I see him around the next few days, maybe I’ll buy him a beer and uh, we’ll put it all behind us. It’s all water under the bridge.

  • Reverend Clint

    bisping is one to talk… he has no fans. what would you call a bisping fan? A Bisping Bitch?

  • Reverend Clint

    A Count Cunt

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    He needs to throw Mayhem a rose while calling him “Gutter Trash.”

  • mmariusp

    Dick, that was actually quite good.

  • frickshun

    Dick–>you are thinking of Multiple Personality Disorder, not schizophrenia. You internet psychiatrist, you.

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