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Miguel Torres is back in the UFC!

Miguel Torres is back in the UFC! After secretly doing penance for the crime of telling the rape joke that broke the camel’s back, Dana White welcomed him back into the UFC:

“He walked in here today and impressed me. He handled his business like a man. He went to all the rape crisis centers and talked to them about what he did, he donated money to them all. He’s been doing rape sensitivity counseling and a list of other things that he did and he wasn’t told to do any of that. He wasn’t told to do it, he owned up to this thing, he handled himself like a man and a professional, and I have nothing but respect for Miguel Torres and he’s back. … I respect him and he’s back and I don’t give a shit what anybody has to say about it or what they think.”

You can hear Miguel Torres say more right things here, and it’s really great that he went and got cleansed of insensitive thoughts. But let’s be real here: we’re all just happy that our favorite mulleted warrior is back, even though his tweets will now be about as bland as his recent fights.

As for why El Presidente didn’t set up some sort of PC social media policy afterwards like so many other lame-o sports leagues:

“Because I don’t want to,” White said. “I was criticized for cutting him. Now I’ll be criticized for bringing him back,” said the UFC president. “The bottom line is I don’t give a [expletive] what anybody thinks or what anybody says. I don’t give a [expletive] what your opinion is, I’m going to do this the way I want to do it.”

Is it just me or does Dana sound like he’s back to his shit kicking expletive spewing self? Screw you, eff off, I do what I want! The Dana who left for vacation seemed worn down from months of playing it by the book in the leadup to their big FOX deal. The one who’s come back sounds ready to release a vblog or two calling people bitches and cunts.


    One of the great things about this sport is the accessibility we have to the fighters and I fear incidents like this will do nothing but drive a wedge between us.

    What’s the benefit of posting on a message board or interacting with fans on Twitter if every word you post is going to be scrutinized and people are going to try to drag you down by playing gotcha games? Might as well play it safe and throw up a wall between you and the general public. Just do your job, collect your check and go home.

  • iamphoenix

    “Went to a few rape classes this week. Didn’t need all this tape or chloroform I guess…”

    – Miguel Torres tweet

  • CAP

    I wish he’d quit raping my eyes with that hairdo.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Show some fucking decency, Cap; You wish he’d quit surprising your eyes with that hairdo.

  • Letibleu

    This is the most sexist post I have ever read on here. No mention of his rape victims or if he kept the van.

  • glassjawsh

    you need to keep this up as long as possible leti


  • Letibleu

  • agentsmith

    This is a man who knows how to play the apology game.  He did exactly what he needed to do to make it up to Dana and shut up any over-sensitive whiners, and all without being told.

  • Jarman

    phoenix-bahahahaha! heyooooo!

    leti-whoa…..that’s frighteningly epic. is that anakin skywalker on that there surprise van, or is it really just a rape van giving up on the element of surprise?