Mike Goldberg still pretending he’s not a raging drug addict

(“Meet me out back in 10 minutes. You bring the meth, I’ll bring my mouth!”)

Mike Goldberg is already scheduled to return to active duty at UFC on FOX 6, and rumors of a mystery drug habit have been replaced by talk of a much less exciting health issue. You can hear Goldberg try to throw us off his dark Dexter-esque secret life here:

“I ended up coming home from Brazil with a virus, an upper respiratory infection, I ended up being hospitalized a couple times for it, just because they were making sure they could get my lungs open,” Goldberg said. “And just the complications of, I’m an asthmatic, I have been since high school, the complications with trying to get proper medications to get this virus out of my body, I’m not the first guy to come back from Brazil not feeling 100 percent, it just kind of spiraled.

“I’ve had throat infections, chest infections I’ve had a head cold, during the 800 NHL games I called, in the 200 or so UFCs or so I’ve done since 1997. So yeah, I’m a prideful guy, I consider myself a fighter as far as my broadcast spot, I want to be in my seat at cageside during UFC 155, but it broke my heart that I wasn’t able to do so. I was kicking and screaming because I wanted to call the fights, I wanted to call the [Junior dos Santos vs. Cain Velasquez] rematch, I wanted to be there for a big show just like every big show I want to be there.

“To put it simply, it was the perfect storm, my immune system was never really able to get back in balance, and then complications came, my voice started to go, and I wasn’t able to get the pre-production done, and I wasn’t able to voice it 100 percent, and I wasn’t able to get it together for UFC 155,” said Goldberg.

Pfft yeah right. Now tell us the TRUE story of how you hoofed a gram of PCP in Rio and woke up six days later in Bogota wearing nothing but a leather jacket and cowboy boots.

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