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MMA Fanhouse’s idiot problem

If you’d asked me, I’d say MMA Fanhouse would be the last place a dipshit article about Gina vs Cyborg being terrible for human civilization would surface. But that shows what I know because they just put up one of the most condescending, sexist, idiotic articles ever, entitled ‘MMA is No Breakthrough for Women’. Check out some of the highlights:

It came days after the International Olympic Committee approved female boxing for the 2012 Olympics. The ancient Greeks who started the Olympics treated women like property. Now we’re letting women treat themselves like animals.

This, of course, is seen as progress. Maybe it’s the thought of a female Chuck Wepner, but I don’t see much enlightenment.

I can’t rationally argue women shouldn’t be allowed to beat themselves bloody. It’s more an emotional repulsion that makes me hope these breakthroughs are overblown.

On a practical level, I doubt the Carano vs. Cyborg was the fighting equivalent of the 19th Amendment. When it comes to female fighters, the MMA still has less depth than Paris Hilton. Carano was its Danica Patrick, and now she’s been beaten by Ivan Drago.

We all know that looks matter, which is why the WWE long ago replaced the Fabulous Moolah with pole dancers. If female combat is going to ever make it big, it will need competitors who look like strippers and fight like bouncers.

From all accounts, the crowd loved it. Of course, some people like snuff films and Michael Vick’s ex-hobby. And our ancestors had season tickets to the Christians vs. the Lions.

At least we’ve dialed it down to boxing and MMA. I’m not a big fan of the steel cage, but I’m not against it. It taps into our historic thirst for a little bloodsport. Of the hundreds of sports events I’ve covered, nothing matches the primal buzz right before a title bout.

I love it. I just can’t get psyched to find out who will be the female Mike Tyson. Is there something wrong with me or something wrong with somebody who does?

If nothing else, I’ll never become a member of the IOC. The movement began in the Cradle of Civilization, and now the modern minds have decreed that women should be allowed to knock each other’s heads off.

This bullshit is written by David Whitley, who seems to hop around different sports on Fanhouse making Michael Vick jokes non stop (because those are so funny). He also recently wrote an article on the Erin Andrews peephole video fiasco saying she was “the sexy red cape ESPN waved in front of its snorting male-bull demographic. We shouldn’t be shocked that some animal finally got tired of stomping its hooves and actually charged.” Bravo, Fanhouse, for employing a complete fucking douchebag. Please keep him out of the MMA section in the future, kay?