MMA fighter dies then reincarnates as himself to rob a gun shop

charlesrowan
Did we not learn a damn thing from Hollywood? If you try and fake your own death at least get the hell out of the state you faked said death in. Even that moron from “Double Jeopardy” had the good sense to get out of dodge and head down to Louisiana. For crying out loud he even picked up that creepy Cajun accent as if his life depended on it. The same post-faked death precautions weren’t taken by amateur MMA fighter Charles Rowan. Rowan’s scam was one for the ages and not because of it’s complexity in nature, but because the moron actually pulled it off. Here how this idiotic event went down (via Deadspin):

Rowan’s fifth career fight was scheduled for February in Traverse City. That night, DiPonio said, Martinez called from Rowan’s phone number to tell him that her boyfriend had been involved in a fatal car wreck on the way to the event.

A distraught DiPonio and his girlfriend hopped in their car the next day and made the lengthy trek to Gladwin, where they were met by “young kids and grandparents crying.”

“I thought for sure Charlie was dead. I mean, these people were hysterically crying,” said DiPonio, who gave the family $150 for expenses on the spot.

Two weeks ago, Piliafas and DiPonio helped raise $1,350 in proceeds and donations through their benefit event, “Fight for Charlie.”

Is it just me or are there so many red flags in this story that it might have done Piliafas and DiPonio some good to dig just a little deeper? Perhaps they could have asked the family some legit questions like, “Where can we pay our respects?” or “What are the funeral arrangements?” If you’re willing to put in the time to raise money for this guy then you’d better be certain he’s six feet under, a pile of ash, or in a medical facility being used as a probing device for the next generation of Dr. Nick wannabes. For whatever the reason both Pilafas and Diponio were shocked to learn the news that their departed “friend” was now upright and breathing and a suspect in a gun store robbery:

“It made me sick to my stomach. I was furious. I was livid,” he said. “It’s not so much about the money. It’s just how many people were involved in this scam. … The little bit that I knew (about) this kid, I never would have thought that he’d try to pull some Machiavelli crap like that.”

I’d recommend reading literature that applies to your situation a little more. Instead of diving into the works of an ancient Italian writer maybe pick up a book on American Proverbs. Something that contains the axiom, “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” Just sayin’.

  • Mixed Martial Adam

    Krusty the Klown faked his death with more skill and dignity than this clown.

  • noiseless

    dat machiavellian power behind the throne from before the afterlife. crazy. craaaazy.

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