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More on Rampage’s “Secret”

People are crazy. There’s a bunch of wackjobs that think that some asian guy is the resurrection of Jesus Christ. There’s another group that think that they can close their eyes and travel across space and time. Those are all pretty ridiculously stupid, but they pale in comparison to the steaming pile of bullshit that is “The Secret”.

Now, I have my own little website where i deal with retarded beliefs, but today, I thought I might put the thinking cap on and lay the smackdown on The Secret and it’s prepositions. I’m normally not tempted to mix beliefs and MMA simultaneously, but good old Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has forced my hand. In case you missed it, you need to go back and read this article.

If you’ve heard about this movie/book from your mom, or anyone else who listens to whatever shit Opera says without actually using a bit of grey matter in their heads, then odds are you probably got the generic “it’s just about the power of positive thinking” line, and thought to yourself: “Ok, it’s can’t be all bad. Last time i thought positively, I got totally laid!”

The problem is, it’s not positive thinking as a metaphor for confidence and so forth. The movie (and the book, which was written AFTER) says that your thoughts will LITERALLY manifest themselves into physical form. Your brain exhibits waves (called alpha waves) which get sent out, and eventually reality gets all rearranged to suit the stupid shit that was in your mind at the time. They call this “The Law of Attraction”. In other words, you get the things you think about (money, cars, women) if you just think about them hard enough. Shit, sounds pretty sweet, right?

If you think that’s retarded, it gets better. This law doesn’t just apply to stuff you want. It also applies to shit you don’t. So for instance, if you get robbed, odds are you were thinking about it and BAM, some punk ass steals your XBOX 360. With the Secret, the only person you should be blaming is yourself for having those negative thoughts. Same deal goes for getting raped.

So basically, anything bad that happens is a direct result of a treacherous thought that appears in your mind. Forget about victims! That shit is their fault. They deserve it for having such negative emotions. Now, there is a way around this: the movie suggest that you redouble your effort to think positively. And when I say “think”, what they really mean is “feel”. There’s no higher brain function involved here. In fact, it’s your higher brain functions that are the problem. Instead, you have to constantly be in a state of commercial desire, endlessly wishing for goods that you want the Universe to deliver to you. This kind of hybrid of free range Capitalism and New Age meet together to make mindless consumers of it’s loyal adherents.

The whole “thinking positively” wouldn’t fucking bug me so much if it wasn’t for the fact that these fuckers don’t actually want you to think. They just want to make mindless zombie corporate whores out of you. These jerkoffs don’t even think that protesting anything is a good idea, since by protesting, their stupid law comes into affect, and invites more of what you don’t want in your life. Hate war? well, you thinking about it must be the problem! You should be wishing for a new TV, dummy!

So, the reason that Rampage probably went all fucking crazy was that he had a negative thought, and assumed that the Law of Attraction would invite whatever weird and sick fantasy he was having. With little higher brain function happening, the moron hops in his gigantic truck, and goes on a little police chase. I guess he must have been thinking about cops when he was speeding to invite that in his life.