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More useful MMA pointers from Steven Seagal


Is there anything more entertaining than watching a fatass action star hack like Steven Seagal ‘teaching’ Lyoto Machida how to fight? Watch as he shows Machida how to ‘trap’ punches, chop people in the throat, and generally be a master of useless woo-woo martial arts. My favorite part has to be when Steven explains to Machida why Shogun kicked his ass. The solution? A slow, fat kick to the leg followed by some wushu punching / disco fist spinning. Oh, and lots of backfists from the clinch. Add some ‘Bam bam baah!’ noises and you’ve got Steven Seagal’s recipe for MMA domination!

More MMA under seige: Anderson Silva’s training session with Steven, and a kiss shared between student and sensei (yes, Seagal demanded Anderson call him ‘sensei’) on Silva’s way into the cage to face Chael Sonnen.

  • UberShmact

    Are you telling me you wouldn’t want to hang about and practice some kung fu with Steven Seagal?

  • G Funk

    He’s still damn quick especially for an overweight oldman. Aikido is a form of jiu jitsu and can be effective.

  • repenttokyo

    UberSmacht – actually, I’d be afraid he’d eat me.

  • SST

    Watch out Machida. He’ll try to make you his sex slave.

  • Elfenstein

    almost didnt watch as i was afraid to get too embarrased ..

  • dulljake

    Effective? At what, sucker punching? My grandma could school Segal, and she’s fucking dead.

  • G Funk


  • Letibleu

    2:20 mark, i admit he is fast.

  • Letibleu

    again, im drunk.

  • frickshun

    Hasn’t Judo Gene already proven this guy is a fraud. And what of the supposed 1st/only American born teacher in Japan. Wasn’t that as bogus as JCVD being a (cardio)kickboxing champ?

  • Komodo

    It’d be funny if they spiked his lemonade with pee-ade.


    For reals ‘dough…
    The video is pretty fantastic.

  • mamoru

    That’s hilarious.
    I trained aikido for a couple years, and we had one guy there who was a total Seagal mark, it was pathetic.
    Fat ass, old, wifebeating asshole bullshitter of almost frank duxian proportions.

    Read this shit, it’s hilarious as well.

  • frickshun

    Mamoru–>I never get tired of reading about what a moron he is.