Piss up a rope, Chinese government.
Hey look, a title fight and an interim title fight in like four fucking days! This is the beginning of the harvest, boys. And this is a looooooooooong breakdown from someone putting off writing a stasis map (aka a long ass bibliography).
* First UFC to be broadcast in Spanish
* Dana surprisingly on board with GSP doing the Olympics in 2012
* GSP was training for 2008 Olympics before fighting Hughes, but says ‘I’m an MMA fighter’
* Dana: Carwin ‘running late’, Lesnar will greet the winner in the Octagon, arrives tomorrow
* Frank Mir agrees with everything Shane Carwin stands for zzzzzzzz…
* Dan Hardy’s English > Michael Bisping’s English
* Hardy: ‘There’s only so many cookies you can eat’ before you start fighting again
* Mir believes he’s maxed out and closed the gap in strength
* I really wish Shane was here, these Mir fans annoy me
* Ok, this was funny. Cofield asks a dick question about the relevance Frank’s death in the Octagon comments:
Dana: ‘Cofield’s here… Why do you think it’s a big deal when we’re trying to get sanctioned?’
‘I’d like you to explain.’
‘Next!’ <--- Hard not to love this
Follow up: 'How heated did it get?'
Dana: 'It never got heated between us, ever.'
Cofield then asks Frank - what a tool this guy is
Frank says it was a mistake, 'dumb side note', 'poor terminology' - eat shit, next question
* British reporter pissed about fight not being in UK, asks Hardy if he wants his first defense in UK, Hardy says 'not my call'
* Dana asked why Hardy got title shot: Dana pretty good and damn dismissive, reporter didn’t mention anyone that Hardy surpassed
* Brian Stann gets $10,000 for Hire Heroes from Tequila Cazadores because he’s a good guy – sure sounds passionate about it. I hated Stann after he beat my Cantwell, but I’m over it now.
* 17,000+ sellout, $4 million gate anticipated
* Prelims back on Spike, yay
* Fights to be shown on movie screen at Radio City Music Hall, not sure if this is a first
* Dana cracks a Matt Serra joke about a short guy that asks GSP about the pressure that results from being awesome… GSP cool as a cucumber, says waiting is the worst part
* GSP does BJJ with Renzo, Hardy with Serra: beef? GSP is super diplomatic, ‘an armbar is an armbar’… come on Hardy… dammit.
* Mir’s gameplan: Let Shane pick since he’s a better wrestler, but feels comfortable in both, if y’all missed the Party Line I’ve picked Carwin
* GSP claims he’s gained 5 lbs of muscle since Alves, Mir scopes him out, GSP thinks he’ll weigh 191ish by fight time
* Mir admits the flying knee was stupid ‘but it looked cool’, says Carwin ‘has his attention’
* GSP is speaking to my inner poker player: ‘There is no certainty… I see every fight like a mathematical problem, I try to flip all the odds on my side’
* Dana on women’s MMA: same as women’s boxing, a few stars and no competition beneath it, maybe one day
* GSP asked twice about fighting Anderson Silva, insert ‘no looking past opponents ever again’ boilerplate
* Some great NY accents asking questions here, if Mir/Carwin winner is healthy he’ll fight Brock in early summer (July 3rd, my guess)
* Kid asks if Hardy is nervous, Dana says ‘it’s better than Cofield’s question!’, crowd cheers
* Dana pretty much makes a fan his VIP and gets backstage access! Asking never hurts, don’t ask my bastard Twitter account that I created solely to beg for tickets last week
* Senior’s Division is mercilessly mocked. Randy Couture is one of a kind, ladies and germs.
* Goal of the card is partially to show NY ‘how sick this card would’ve been in MSG’
* Air Force General asks for the fighters to sign something for the troops and gives out NY ANG visors
* First international TUF will be in the Middle East
* Koscheck v Daley is for #1 contender: Hardy says ‘Daley’s going to murder Koscheck;
* Dana on co-promoting: ‘Nah, I’ll wait for them all to go out of business and sign them all’
* ‘My question for Shane: What training do you do to become invisible?’ Dana: ‘Even THAT was better than Cofield’s question!’
* CHRIST this is long – don’t ever say I don’t work for you Jackals
* GSP: I’m a martial artist because I have an ‘impack’?
* Frank Mir to the mother of a 14 year old UFC wannabe: Aim lower
* Dana on Shields and Fedor: ‘They [Strikeforce] are trying to get him [Shields] beat… I want it [Fedor] just as bad as you want it’
* Hah! Guy suggests Mir/GSP (Dana responds ‘The old matchmaker from PRIDE is here, everyone’!) and asks GSP ‘were you impressed with ‘is performance’ in the GSP voice. These fans are desperate for a card there
* Hardy on GSP’s takedowns: ‘My plan was to lay down and start on my back’
* Dana on Toney: ‘I don’t know why I did it – I did it – I have no idea who he’s going to fight’
* ‘I didn’t let Dan Henderson go, we couldn’t come to terms’
Man. That was a marathon. Thanks for the ‘Subo Sucks’ comments in advance!