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Observations From My Couch: UFC Fight Night 30 – “Ultimate Urine Sample of Doom”

Observations From My Couch: UFC Fight Night 30 – “Ultimate Urine Sample of Doom”
  • Jimy Hettes dominated Rob Whiteford so thoroughly, if they were in prison, Whiteford would forevermore be giving Hettes his commissary card, shining his shoes and tidying up Hettes’ cell.
  • That was a tough loss for Andy Ogle, but if this MMA thing doesn’t pan out, he’ll always have those royalty checks from the “Lord of the Rings” movies to fall back on.


  • If Jessica Andrade was a female Wanderlei Silva, then Rosi Sexton did a spot-on impersonation of Kazushi Sakuraba a la PRIDE Total Elimination 2003.
  • Piotr Hallmann was doing well against Al Iaquinta until the unbridled caterwauling of Iaquinta’s coaches spooked him. Seriously, ten minutes of Matt Serra and Ray Longo screaming random words in their deep Long Island accents is considered misdemeanor assault in some jurisdictions.
  • John Lineker. So talented, but so fat.
  • Alessio Sakara has sucked for so long now, it’s clear that the only thing keeping him employed is his impressive array of tattoos.


  • Norman Parke looks like he’s just a few ounces of Semtex away from a totally different career path.
  • Clearly, whatever style of karate Ryan Jimmo studied was the wrong kind. He needs the one where they drink piss.

karate SAFE

  • Yeah, Ross Pearson was on the precipice of being killed. That cut and accidental foul saved his ass.
  • When Lyoto Machida mowed down Mark Munoz without even getting touched, you know what was going through Machida’s mind? “Da f–k was I wasting time at light-heavyweight for?”
  • glassjawsh

    have you even seen any of the sakuraba – wand fights? unless you’re talking about size difference, they are all NOTHING like sexton-andrade. I get that it’s totes cool to reference old skool fights bro, but goddamnit, have some kind of connection to make or point to you want to get across (or at least a coherent train of thought) before you subject us to the projectile vomit that’s passing for content nowadays.

  • jim genia

    I’ve never seen any fights. I just read the results from the Sherdog Fight Finder and go from there. Why? You mad, bro?