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A Collection of News Haiku – 11.14.13

So much news, so much terse Japanese poetry.

  • Bellator releases/ champ Ben Askren. I guess Bjorn/ ain’t into “boring”.
  • Oh noes! Where will Ben/ go? “Not here!” said Dana White. / Also, foul language.
  • Meekly, Ray Sefo/ said the WSOF will/ take him. Ben is sad.

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Oh Look, Another Contest

You ready to win some free stuff? In honor of the movie “AMBUSHED“, which just came out on Blu-Ray and DVD and stars Dolph Lundgren, Vinnie Jones and Randy Couture (yes, our pal Randy is in another action film), Fightlinker is going to have a contest. Here are the details:

  • The prize: A copy of AMBUSHED, for you to watch and cherish.
  • What you have to do to win: Come up with a movie title and one or two sentence description of a fictional flick featuring an MMA fighter. For example, if I were to enter this contest, I’d submit my proposal for “JUICED TO THE GILLS, starring Vitor Belfort – The story of a hard-boiled detective with the Rio de Janeiro Police Department who’s very good at his job, but maybe too good. Should Detective Belfort’s arrests be voided just because his blood has been replaced with pure testosterone?”

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The Ballad of Tito and Jenna

You ever have one of those ex-girlfriends who was just completely bat-shit crazy, somehow, someway she found new ways to top herself in the psychosis department? Like, maybe she was a former pornstar, and you had a couple kids with her, and she had you arrested on domestic violence charges that were later dropped, and she tweeted pics of syringes and accused you of being on drugs, meanwhile she appears on all the morning talk shows high as a kite, then announces that she’s getting back into porn “for the sake of her kids”? No? You don’t? Well, Tito Ortiz does.

Boy, does he ever.
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The Perils of Sparring. Yes, Sparring.

Yeah, so everyone knows fighting in a cage can be dangerous to a fighter’s well-being (see: Vitor Belfort vs. Dan Henderson in case you’re unclear). But apparently the training that goes into being sharp in the cage can be pretty freakin’ hard on the brain as well. No, I’m not talking about cutting weight – which everyone acknowledges sucks – I’m talking about hard sparring. Here’s mainstream publication the Newark Star-Ledger, which delved deep for their foray into MMA coverage:

But hidden from the excitement of fight night is a jarring world few outsiders see. The training, preparation and sparring required before even stepping into the chain-link-enclosed cage is unlike anything in sports, even boxing

It may sound like sensationalist tripe, but it gets better.

…Punches, kicks and knees are exchanged in training sessions that can turn more violent than blood-soaked fight nights. Some fighters spar three and four days a week and accept punishment beyond all conventional limits.

Daring fighters allow training partners to punch them in the face to test their chins. Smaller fighters take beatings from larger men to measure themselves. And injuries are routinely ignored or hidden.

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UFC Boss on Vitor Belfort’s UFC Fight Night 32 Victory

UFC president Dana White was in a cheerful mood following a night of thrilling finishes at UFC Fight Night 32.

Hear what White had to say in his interview with FOX Sports 1 following the card.

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