Once upon a time, there was this really badass Russian dude named Fedor Emelianenko, and he was the best heavyweight fighter ever because he’d beaten everyone in clear and convincing fashion. Well, not everyone. You see, Fedor never fought in the Octagon (PRIDE was his stomping grounds), so non-believers liked to harp on the fact that there was some hidden talent in the UFC who could have somehow pierced the invincible armor of the “Last Emperor”. ANYWAY, Dana White was one of those non-believers, and it seems he tried desperately to set up a bout between Fedor and Brock Lesnar back in the day. We know this because at yesterday’s pre-UFC 166 media scrum, White ranted a bit about it – and he broke his personality profanity record while doing it!
“Me and Lorenzo (Fertitta) were f–king laughing about that,” White said on Thursday. “Yeah so I hated him. Who did I hate worse than Tito (Ortiz)? The guy lost f–king 100 fights in a row and retired in the UFC.
“We made every big fight with every fighter since we bought this company. You don’t think we wanted to do Fedor vs. Brock Lesnar? I f–king wanted to make that fight so bad.”
If you’re keeping score, that’s three F-bombs in two paragraphs. But wait, there’s more!
“We had to build a f–cking stadium in Russia, and we had to do all this stupid s–t, stuff that no normal f–king human being would do. And now they lay in bed every night and regret not doing that deal.”
Three curse words in one sentence. That’s next-level stuff right there.
“I explained this to Fedor,” White said. “‘We’re catching a moment in time, right here, right now, where this fight between you and Brock Lesnar will be f–king massive. We’re talking Dallas, Texas Stadium. This huge fight between these two big heavyweight guys. We’re laying this massive f–king offer on the table.’ I said, ‘You’re one punch away from being worth f–king zero.’
“This is the f–king moment, the time. We all need to seize this moment and make this f–king happen.'”
Obviously not content with the amount of profanity he’d levied upon the gathered reporters, White added:
“It’s not even that I regret it,” White said. “Dude, when I tell you that we did everything – someday I’ll tell you the story of how much we offered that f–ker, too. People will f–king s–t. It made no sense. It’s one of those type of deals.”
And there you have it, Dana White’s new personal best. Rumor has it that there’s a curse jar in the Zuffa offices, with each infraction costing the speaker a buck and the proceeds going towards purchasing something nice for the staff. Thanks to White, the office was able to buy an actual slave.
Remember back in the day when ninjas were all sorts of cool, and being a mutated turtle who was also a ninja was the height of cool? No? You weren’t born yet? Okay, well take my word for it, 1989 was a great year to walk upright, rock a shell and be named after a Renaissance artist. But times change… and apparently, so do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
From the Department of Nick Diaz News:
This week British cyclops Michael Bisping threw Nick Diaz’s name out there as someone he wouldn’t mind fighting, and at yesterday’s pre-UFC 166 media scrum, UFC grand poobah Dana White gave the idea a hearty thumbs-up. But White, however, was like a cold splash of water to the face with his pragmatism.
“I love that fight. I love that fight,” White gushed. “I like it. But everything I hear from Nick Diaz is he doesn’t want to fight.”
If that’s actually the case and Diaz’s days in the cage are done, well, that would be a big pile of suck. Sure, Diaz has been scrapping professionally for over 12 years, which is about the upper limit of longevity for high-level fighters, but for the last five or so of those years he’s been both an undeniable badass and a certifiable nutjob – which makes for one hell of an interesting athlete. Are YOU willing to accept that he’s done?
Continue after the Jump ››
UFC 166 co-main eventer and resident hobo Roy Nelson may be facing a tall task when he steps into the cage against Daniel Cormier on Saturday, but according to the fighter who often looks like a homeless man, the training camp leading up to the bout was no joy, either. As per MMAFighting:
“This has actually been the crappiest camp I’ve ever had,” Nelson admitted on Wednesday. “It is what it is.”
The root of Nelson’s problems began in mid-September, when his head boxing coach, Jeff Mayweather, suffered a mild heart attack after drinking an energy drink. The 49-year old wound up hospitalized for weeks.
Yeah, a loss of a coach and some training partners (which are mentioned further on in the MMAFighting article) would suck, but I think there’s more to this story. So let’s speculate!
Possible reasons why Roy Nelson’s training camp would be crappy:
- His favorite spot under the bridge taken by Crazy Harriet and her blind pitbull “Mr. Snob”
- The athletic commission in Texas requiring him to shower
- The government shutdown impeding the flow of free government cheese
- Rickets and scurvy
- Being homeless, or at least having the hygiene of someone homeless
Spike TV will present the first installment of “Rampage4Real,” a special devoted to former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson.
The program, which is being billed as an unscripted reality show, airs at 11 p.m. ET on Spike TV.
Jackson will make his Bellator debut this November against Tito Ortiz in the main event of Bellator: Rampage vs. Tito from California.
Below is a clip from the first episode: