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Fightlinker Contest: Insult Me, Win Free Crap

Greetings, fools. As you’ve probably surmised, Fightlinker is in a bit of a transition period. But I say let’s make the most of it.

Since a few of you have tried to be witty by hurling half-assed insults in the comments section, we’ll make it a contest: Insult me employing all the humor, snark, creativity and brains you can muster, and to the best one I will mail a prize. But it has to be a good insult – and yes, I will be the judge. If it sounds like your insult was crafted in the dark recesses of your basement while your mom was getting railed by your overweight stepdad upstairs, I will sense those bitter tears in your eyes. If your effort betrays the fact that you ride around in a mobility scooter because in the fifth grade you realized you could skip gym and now your ass is fat, I will sense that laziness. SO MAKE IT GOOD.

What are the prizes? I don’t know. It could be this. It could be some old Full Contact Fighter t-shirts that were never worn and have been languishing in my drawer for years.  Heck, it could even be this thing Zuffa was giving out to the press at UFC 33:4

(Just the bag. I keep the arm.)

Judging by some of your efforts thus far, there are a few of you who are destined to lose. But I have faith that there’s at least one shining star among you.

A Collection of News Haiku – 10.23.13

So much MMA news gets conveyed in drab, no-frill form nowadays. From cookie-cutter video interviews to articles that could be the exact same piece of prose as the next only with different names, it’s a wonder that anyone pays attention anymore. Thankfully, the Japanese invented a form of poetry called the “haiku” specifically for the concise yet artistic expression of the news. Hooray for the Japanese!

Chael Sonnen to Become First TUF Coach Killed on Set

Chael Sonnen will be coaching opposite new nemesis Wanderlei Silva in the third installment of TUF Brasil, and given the vast amount of kind things the American has said of the Brazilians – and their subsequent deep-rooted love for the man – it’s expected that Sonnen will be the first-ever TUF coach killed on set. Details of the makeups of the teams (i.e., weight classes, nationalities, etc.) are nonexistent at this point, and Sonnen will reportedly still face Rashad Evans at UFC 167. In theory, he would also face “The Axe Murderer” sometime after the TUF season ended, although his death will likely force Joe Silva to find a replacement.

Here’s White sealing Sonnen’s fate on FOX Sports Live:

The Ross Pearson Exit Strategy

Time waits for no man, even if that man won Season 9 of The Ultimate Fighter, coached a season of TUF in Australia, and has established himself as a fairly decent lightweight in the Octagon. So what does someone like Ross Pearson envision for the future once the sands in the hourglass have run out on his career in the cage? Here he is talking to RM Sports about it ahead of his UFC Fight Night 30 bout:

Observations From My Couch: UFC 166 – “Ultimate Brain Damage”
  • Was UFC 166 an awesome UFC or what? Too bad TJ Waldburger’s memory of it is completely blank from his walkout to about this coming Wednesday.
  • I feel cheated that KJ Noons fought without his grand bouffant.
Mandatory Credit: Mark D. Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Mandatory Credit: Mark D. Smith-USA TODAY Sports

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