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King of the Cage Fighter Tony Lopez Shows Us What’s Inside of Him: Poop

Go back to your old job, Tony Lopez.

We here at Fightlinker have been desperate for a new target of our hatred since Mike Kyle stopped acting up, Jason “Mayhem” Miller might be legitimately mentally ill, and Syria has bigger problems to worry about. So we are lucky to receive word of some—if not Joe Son-level—perhaps Mike Whitehead-level scumbaggery in the form of antics from last night’s King of the Cage (KOTC) show.

According to the gifs and reports posted at MiddleEasy, fighter Tony Lopez not only “pulled a Babalu” by continuing to choke his opponent after the referee was pulling him off, he also punched the hapless dude in the face afterwards. Then, according to reports on Twitter by @Fight_Ghost, he was announced as the winner instead of disqualified, and the post-fight interviewer told him “Great fight!” and went on as if nothing evil had occurred.

In an environment characterized by nearly unanimous legalization of MMA, growing cultural acceptance of the sport, and hundreds of millions of dollars from Fox, it’s good to see a long-standing community pillar like KOTC continuing to skeeve the place up with its charming antics.

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Behold the wanton savagery of unfathomable dickishness.

UFC to Stop Confusing the Shit out of its Fans by Making Them Switch Channels

Many who tried to tune in to Fox Sports 1 to watch the prelims for UFC on Fox Sports 1 2 aka UFC Fight Night 27 were treated to a surprise: no fights. Unfortunately, the UFC decided to throw a spinning backfist by airing the prelims on Fox Sports 2, switching channels mid-event when we hadn’t even gotten acclimated to the first brand new channel to begin with. Keep in mind that we are people who generally have trouble farting and chewing gum at the same time and just estimate how that went for the few UFC fans who actually pay for cable instead of stealing a webstream out of their parents’ basement.

Well, now the UFC has decided to stop confusing the hoity-toity TV owners among us by moving ALL PRELIMS to Fox Sports 1… except for the ones that aren’t on Fox Sports 1… and not for another few events. MMAMania has details from The Dana:

“I called Eric the other day and said, ‘We should just put everything on FOX Sports 1 like we did the first night.’ He was like, ‘You’re right. We should. Let’s do it.’”

So let it be spoken, so let it be done.

The new arrangement is not expected to affect the promotion’s reliance on Facebook for preliminary bouts that can’t be shoehorned into existing timeslots.

In short, anything not on pay-per-view (PPV) will likely air on Facebook, followed by FOX Sports 1, with the exception of fight cards already lined up for FOX Sports 2, like the UFC Fight Night 30 event in Manchester, headlined by a middleweight bout between Michael Bisping vs. Mark Munoz.

It’s sometimes nice how the UFC sort of takes care of its fans. As minor of a concession as this seems, it does stop people from having to switch channels and avoids turning us into pawns in corporate ratings wars. Instead of trying to prop up multiple channels, the organization is content to simply have us relax while it monopolizes 14% of our waking hours with its events. Many cheers to our hegemonic overlords in Vegas for being gentle masters!

Vitor Belfort is not not being tested, says exasperated White

Dana White briefly lost his trademark serenity during last night’s UFC Fight Night 27 media scrum, when a questioner implied that Vitor Belfort had fought in Brazil to dodge regulations on performance-enhancing drugs. Belfort, 36, has publicly used testosterone replacement therapy since last year, but White rejected the idea that the middleweight’s last three fights were booked overseas to avoid American athletic commissions.

“There is no way in fucking hell I would let Vitor Belfort stay in Brazil if he was cheating down there,” White said. “There is a commission there that oversees what we do down there, too. It’s not run by us.”

The UFC president attributed Belfort’s series of fights in Brazil to his drawing power with Globo, the UFC’s media partner there. White implied that Globo had requested Belfort specifically for the Brazilian cards.

“Globo is very important,” White said. “They have a big fight, it’s going to be on Globo, and they want fucking Vitor…Vitor Belfort is not cheating. Vitor Belfort is not not being tested.”

That news should reassure fellow middleweights, who have worried that Belfort’s use of synthetic testosterone does not not allow him to exceed limits set by state athletic commissions. It does not, however, not not address the complaint that Belfort would be denied a therapeutic use exemption in the US.

The Brazilian tested positive for the steroid 4-hydroxytestosterone in 2006, after losing a fight for the Pride welterweight championship against Dan Henderson. Keith Kizer, head of the Nevada State Athletic Commission, has previously said that Belfort’s past steroid use means he would likely not be granted a therapeutic use exemption.

Belfort has not fought in Nevada since 2011, when he lost a middleweight title bid to Anderson Silva. Three of his five fights since have been in Brazil, but White rejected the idea that it was to allow him to keep using testosterone.

“You think that we would lie about that and risk the credibility of the sport, the UFC as a brand, so that Vitor Belfort can fight in fucking Brazil and cheat?” White asked, presumably rhetorically. “So we’re going to flip this whole thing upside down so that Vitor, my best friend—it just makes no sense.”

White then shook his head sadly, bemused by our foolish cynicism.

Dan Brooks writes about politics, culture and lying at Combat! blog.

Anderson Silva Says Floyd Mayweather No Respect Nothing, Pot Says Kettle Yes Black

Seemingly intending to put himself on par with a pot calling a kettle black or Joe Son calling anyone a psycho, Anderson “Disrespectful piece of shit” Silva—whose new, previously unrebuked nickname was given to him by his last opponent, Chris Weidman, after he knocked Silva out for disrespecting him—has accused boxer Floyd Mayweather of having no respect himself:

Boxers have the great story. I respect for boxing. Floyd Mayweather? I don’t know this guy. Is he Papa Smurf? Mayweather is good boxing. This is my opinion. The guy no respect me. I respect all the guys in the world. Mayweather is a part of this story in the world. I’m part of the sport in the world. Mayweather need to respect this, but this guy no respect nothing. Sorry, but I no respect Mayweather.

Besides the fact that Silva has been disrespectfully toying with his opponents for years and only recently been taken to task for it (due to a minor miscalculation, of course), the most interesting takeaway from this quote is Anderson’s visionary free association between Papa Smurf and Mayweather. How did we not notice the close resemblance between the two before? Evidently, the former champion’s respect is surpassed only by his Jedi reasoning skills.

I would suggest that Anderson get a few wins under his belt before telling us whom he no respect, but I’m also not pretending that he’d listen based on his past track record. After all, just before Anderson was knocked out by Weidman, he was described as “not a respectful guy” by Renzo Gracie, which is really something when you consider that despite his Mickey Mouseyness, Renzo has had a few moments of his own. The difference is that Renzo has always had an underlying modicum of respect but did things in the heat of the moment, whereas with Anderson, I’m not so sure that he has that underlying respect for his opponents.

Condit vs. Kampmann 2 Justifies Five-Round Non-Title Main Events via Forehead Vagina Explosion

Relatively few people argued when the UFC implemented five-round non-title fights (instead of the normal three) for all main events in 2011, but I was skeptical, because those extra two rounds could have short-changed other deserving fights. Sure, the fact that the fighters have already suffered head trauma might make their brains easier to smash after three rounds, increasing the chances of a satisfying splat, but the concomitant muscle fatigue reduces the power behind their blows, equalizing the odds of a gore explosion. With so many deserving contenders, why extend just one fight when it might have already petered out after the first three rounds? I certainly thought the suggestion of making all title eliminators five rounds was a bad idea, because that would double the number of fights with extra rounds and so reduce the number of fights we get to see.

Nevertheless, while watching UFC on Fox Sports 1 2 a.k.a. UFC Fight Night 27: Condit vs. Kampmann 2 as I usually do (alone, in front of my computer monitor, drying my tears with used panties I purchased), I had no suspicion that the fight would fail to deliver in what would have previously been the “championship rounds.” Condit stopped Kampmann less than a minute into the fourth round, meaning the extra time was what allowed him to close his story arc in satisfying fashion.

Was Kampmann going to come back and win after the third round was probably a 10-8 in favor of Condit? No way. It was clear that Kampmann was getting positively manhandled by the end of Round 3. Although anything is possible with a seasoned athlete like Kampmann, it would have been pretty damn unlikely after the third for Kampmann to do anything but accelerate his descent into wheelchair-bound blabbering about how everyone he meets is his son or daughter. It was kind of fun to see the Shark Week cameltoe on Kampmann’s forehead explode and gush repeatedly, but what does it say about me if I am amused by such things? More importantly, what does it say about me if I enjoy writing about this forehead cameltoe and anxiously await the slow-mo cam vids of it flopping open from punches? Stay tuned for more of my pathological ravings, in which I will provide further details on collections of body parts and other ghoulishness.

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