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Affliction’s Todd Beard made his debut into the MMA limelight last week screaming “FUCK DANA, FUCK LORENZO, FUCK STATION, AND FUCK RANDY COUTURE!” Everyone kinda scratched their heads on that last one considering Affliction and XTreme Couture have been butt buddies for a while now, creating a fashion trend so obnoxious together that certain cities clamped down on it like they were dealing with a plague.

Randy started out by simply saying “Yeah, I don’t know what that was about” but now the claws are out and he’s going straight for the jugular with his latest comments: Todd Beard is a drunk and Randy is done with Affliction.

“I’m not terribly surprised by anything he does at this point. He’s been a bit of a loose cannon our entire relationship. Now he’s pushed it over the line where it’s not re-salvageable.”

Couture went on to comment about Beard’s drinking problem.

“I don’t intend to do anymore business with Todd or Affliction in any way. Guys with drinking problems, is what it boils down to. I’ve seen it at several different professional meetings where he’s ordering shots and out of control. And it’s not something I want be associated with.”

It will be interesting to see how easy or hard a de-tanglement of brands will be for the two companies. One thing is for sure: there are plenty of other enzyme-spraying, skull and tophat designing t-shirt companies out there for Randy Couture to do business with. How many big ticket MMA stars are still out there for Affliction to scoop up? Not so many.

A few months ago, when Kimbo Slice met his demise at the hands of Seth Petruzelli and launched the controversy that would eventually bring down the organization, I remember vividly the words of Dana White declaring “these guys are bad for the sport”. As much as we shit on the man, there was no denying the truth he spoke. It seemed clear that under the scrutiny of a growing sport trying so desperately to become mainstream: each individual participating in it becomes – at least in a small way – an ambassador.

It would be idealistic to assume that every athlete represents the sport in its entirety. Rather, it’s the organizations themselves who showcase them that holds the brunt of the responsibility in how their own fighters are perceived. Last night’s “The Ultimate Fighter” represents, in my opinion, one of the lowest points in TV history, let alone the fledgling sport of MMA.

In case you missed this abortion of a show last night   (which involved Nover eating boiled duck fetus), allow me the indignity of recapping: Tom Lawlor pissed in his own fruit platter to punish Team Nog for having eaten his food. After they had heartily devoured the entire urine rich platter, Team Nog decided to pull a similar prank on Dave Kaplan for eating Phillipe Nover’s sushi. Their weapon of choice: semen.

I wish that words alone could describe not only my physical disgust, but my intellectual outrage at the sight of such low grade cruel pranks. The animosity, the cruelty, and the blatant disrespect made me embarrassed to be a fan of MMA. Had any member of my family seen the show, I would have found it impossible to defend the actions of the the athletes that represent the sport that I now make a living off of.

In stark contrast to the juvenile and disgraceful culinary “delights”, the actual fight between Kaplan and Nover was excellent, which seemed only to accentuate everything that is wrong about the show. Although the actual technical aspect of the sport were on proud display, it’s practitioners were too busy making us squirm with their antics to make the experience pleasant to watch. They didn’t win over any new fans, and even if they had, these are not the kinds of people you want associated with the sport. In short, Dana White and Spike not only hurt their reputation, but the reputation of mixed martial arts in general.

The entire problem with the concept is how poorly it treats MMA fans. While only a small fraction of the show is devoted to the actual sport, the rest of it has devolved into a frat house movie that celebrates vulgarity, stupidity, and anti-intellectualism. It seems to me that the producers of the show feel as though the source material is not strong enough to maintain the attention of the average viewer. Even if this were true, it does not seem to me very logical to assume that base “drama” is a good way to attract new converts to the sport.

The show has steadily gone downhill, and last night clearly demonstrated that Spike has no real idea how to attract potential fans of the sport beyond the stereotypical muscle-head guido. They seem reluctant to believe that anyone with half a brain would take any interest in combat sport, and instead focus their attention on the crudest and basest of human instincts.

I love combat sports, but I am not a moron who enjoys the sight of grown men acting like immature idiots. I watch MMA because I find it violent and primal, even though it still obeys the civilized confines of rules and regulations. It is this contrast that allows our humanity to shine through; we are all murderous apes, but we are also civilized human beings, struggling with the duel nature of our humanity.

I hope that Dana saw his own program in complete sobriety, and realizes from the reaction of the MMA community just how unacceptable it was. Dana, your show is declining. The formula doesn’t work, and worst still, the ambassadors to your sport are too busy acting like jocks to be training hard enough to look skilled in the cage. Your show is bad for the sport, sir. You need to sit down with someone smarter than you who can explain just why that is. Maybe then you’ll gain the much needed perspective you need. I’ve had enough. Have you?

Today’s MMA-related arrest comes care of Hermes Franca, who was nabbed for DUI in Florida. Civilization as a whole needs to be bitchslapped in the face so people can wake up and realize how fucking lame it is to drive while drunk.

**UPDATE** MMA Rated has an update:

Reed Wallace, who represents Franca at the Florida-based White Chocolate Management, told that his client was not under the influence.

“He was very tired when he was driving and was falling asleep at the wheel,” Wallace said. “He did not take any drugs or alcohol.”

Wallace attended last night’s WEC 36 in Hollywood, Fla., with Franca.

“(The police) released him on his on own recognisant,” Wallace said, “which means they probably realized he was not under the influence. If he was, they would have set bail.”

While I’m happy to hear that Franca wasn’t asshole enough to drink and drive (since he fessed up to doing steroids I’m willing to take him at his word this time), it doesn’t clear him completely. Cops don’t keep people from driving drunk because they’re party poopers. It’s because you can fucking kill people with your car. I’d actually rate falling asleep at the wheel as MORE dangerous than driving drunk. Simple point: if you’re drunk/sick/tired/whatever to the point where you’re weaving all over the road and pose a danger to other people, then pull the fuck over and sleep it off.

Microsoft continues it’s terrible terrible terrible ad campaign, this time spending a minute talking about Rashad Evans. While the commercial did a good job of making Rashad Evans seem like less of a tool (an impressive feat in my opinion), it certainly didn’t affect my views or opinions of Microsoft. Rashad doesn’t even mention Microsoft or Windows, and spends 15 seconds talking about how he ‘uses his PC all the time’. I guess Microsoft has such a stranglehold on PC users that just saying “Use a PC” is the same as saying “Buy Windows”.

If you’re someone who loves delicious irony then today is you’re day. Shonie “Mr International” Carter got wasted in California and woke up in TURKEY. Being Mr International, you’d figure he’d have a handle on such situations but it looks like he’s stuck:

Ok last time I was in california when it all starterd, but this time I have really messed up! I was out one night pARTYING IT UP AND BEFORE I knew it, I am on a private jet. I laughed at first and passed out on the plane. I woke up in istanbul, turkey. The reason I know because I am looking at the Black sea! WTF! I got a ride to bulgarian/ turkish border looking for American Embassy. Does anybody have any ideas on how to get back? The onetime I leave my friggin passport at home I need the damned thing! Somebody let bodybag76 and Immaculata know to message me here please! I am in hotel business center and my 2 cellphones don’t work. I forgot all about that! Help me
Mr. International

Sam Caplan has more on the situation including confirmation that while Shonie’s story might seem far fetched, he does indeed seem to be working his way from Turkey to Bulgaria at the moment. One would figure that a smart man would hit the first US Embassy in sight, but those who know Shonie know that he seems to subconsciously enjoy sabotaging himself on a regular basis and making life harder on himself.

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