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I think most people have accepted that Seth Petruzelli’s win over Kimbo has less to do with Seth being awesome and more to do with Kimbo being terrible. Not EliteXC’s Jared Shaw, who went from screaming at cageside that Seth had cheated to stringing together as many corny analogies as possible to pimp him out:

Following the bout, EliteXC Vice Preident Jared Shaw compared Petruzelli to another famed — albeit fictional — pugilist.

“[Petruzelli] is now the modern-day ‘Rocky Balboa,'” Shaw said. “Movies are real. When opportunity knocks, you answer it. And when you open the door, there may just be a pot of gold on the other side.

“For Seth Petruzelli, he’s now a star.”

If by star you mean footnote, then sure! Again, Seth Petruzelli just Buzz Berry’d Kimbo Slice, an ironic twist of fate indeed considering who Kimbo was supposed to fight.

MMAPayout asks some questions in regard to the commercials showing last night:

If there were that many Affliction ads, what you weren’t seeing were a multitude of ads from mainstream companies. That could be an indication of poor ad sales leading up to the show. inquired early in the week about ad sales for the show, and a CBS publicity department that is usually quick with response was vague on the details this time around.

Some of the companies that previously bought time on the the May and July shows were conspicuously absent. If CBS was unable to move ad inventory for the card, that could signal just as much of a KO to the promotion’s network position as anything Seth Petruzelli did on the night.

If that’s the case, you get the feeling that CBS’s retarded decision to force through a shotgun second event just came back to haunt EliteXC. One would hope that this is plain enough for anyone to see, but who knows what bizarro world of explanations and justifications CBS execs live in.

I’m also curious to know if all of Affliction’s ad time was bought up or provided free with the purchase of an Arlovski vs Fatty bout. The ads they showed did a decent job of pimping Fedor to to people in the know but I’m eager to talk to my brother and see what he thought as a casual fan. Did he ‘get’ what Affliction was trying to tell him about Fedor? Or was he just left with a “Who the fuck is Gabbo?” vibe.

We’ve mentioned Ultimate Surrender before in passing, which is basically lesbian wrestle-fucking. But did you know that they just had their equivalent of the Ultimate Ultimate?

Welcome to the second annual Summer Vengeance elimination tournament where the top sixteen Season Five wrestlers battle it out to see who will be the overall Ultimate Surrender champion for 2008.

You can check out clips here (and yeah, it’s obviously NSFW along with every single other link in this post). If you wanted to know more about Ultimate Surrender or just wanted to keep up on various other naked sports, you can read about it at the Nude Sports Blog:

What is Ultimate Surrender?

Ultimate Surrender is the premier competitive sexual nude female wrestling site. U.S. has revolutionized female wrestling to a level never seen before. Once you watch a U.S. match you will not be able to go back to normal wrestling again.

What is so different about it?

U.S. employs a complicated set of rules and a unique scoring system that encourages the nude wrestlers to sexually humiliate their helpless opponents for points and cash.

Is the wrestling real or “staged?”

The wrestling is extremely real! No set winner or loser is determined; each wrestler is fighting for pride, their honor, and of course more money. We have had wrestlers quit in mid match because they couldn’t take it anymore.

I’m all for lesbian grappling matches, but it’d be keen to watch a man vs woman. Hmmm, I guess that would probably just look like rape. Never mind.

Seth Petruzelli and Kimbo Lookalike Winner

The dude who just TKO’d Kimbo Slice. He caught Kimbo with a short shot to the jaw that dropped him and then finished Kimbo off with a number of punches to the side of the noggin.

This is pretty bad fucking news for EliteXC and Kimbo … he just got taken out by a light heavyweight, and a mediocre one at that. He was dropped by a short pop to the face. It was right at the beginning of the fight. Kimbo didn’t even get one shot off. Fuck. I honestly can’t think of a single way that this fight could have gone more wrong. At least Ken Shamrock has a name and a legacy that can soften a loss. But Kimbo Slice just got Buzz Berry’d. The mystique is officially toast. That sound you’re hearing? That’s the sound of everyone getting off Kimbo’s bandwagon.

That may not be the worst thing in the world for Kimbo. Perhaps now he’ll be able to train hard and build himself up without the heavy mantle that EliteXC had dumped on him. Or maybe not: I expect EliteXC to continue pimping Slice like tonight didn’t happen. And I think we might end up having to sit through a few more months of Kimbo vs Ken hype-up.

Jake Shields defeated Paul Daley exactly the way everyone expected he would, but to Daley’s credit he made it harder than many expected he would. In the end, Daley’s demise came about on account of his complete lack of ground game … as soon as Shields got him down he was fucked.

The first round featured Daley throwing heavy leather for 2 minutes before getting taken down and mounted for the remaining three. It was interesting that Shields wasn’t able to finish off the fight from mount in the first … he’s never seemed to have a problem in that area before. Round 2 ended up looking very similar, except this time Jake managed to pull off an armbar after another minute of ineffectual striking from the top.

Perhaps Shields let Daley get into his head? Was he too concerned with letting Daley up? I dunno. Daley looked good with his sprawl and brawl until he ended up getting taken down, but I guess that just means it was good but not good enough. In the end, this fight has just proven that no matter how middling Jake Shields’ striking is, you can’t take advantage of that unless you know how to escape him on the ground.

Photo Credit: Tom Casino/EliteXC/CBS

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