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You can’t help but be pumped up by Evan Tanner when he writes shit like this:

I stepped up into the Octagon, under the lights, the canvas cool against the soles of my feet, the quiet of the arena echoing off row after row of empty seats. I stood there in silence, honoring all of the warriors who have stood that ground, and offering a silent prayer for those who will stand there in the future. I paid my respects to whatever gods of war may be, knowing that I would soon be standing this field again, heart pumping, blood coursing, lungs burning, ……battle raging.

I went to the Mandalay Bay early Friday afternoon for a photo shoot and decided to stay for the weigh-ins. I went behind the scenes into the arena, where they were setting up the lights for the show. The Octagon sat there empty. I wanted to step in, wondering if it might feel strange after so long away. The moment I stepped past the gate, and my feet touched the canvas, I knew I was home.

Someday they’re going to make a movie about Evan Tanner’s life, and the only man who will be badass enough to play him will be Chuck freaking Norris.

If you’ve ever wondered what being sued for 25 million dollars sounds like, here’s what it sounds like. Rich Bergeron taped the entire court proceeding yesterday regarding Xyience’s lawsuit against him and put it up on his site. I have to admit, it is perhaps the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard.

If you’re going to listen to this, skip forward to about 5 minutes in to where Rich gets his turn to go off on the Xyience lawyer for trying to fuck him over on technicalities. Up until this point, I thought Bergeron was a bit of a weirdo. Actually I still think he’s a bit strange. But his balls in the face of this crazy lawsuit have me firmly on his side.

Now if only he’d let somebody hook him up with a website that didn’t look like Myspace and Geocities had a retarded flipper baby together. I know we’re not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover, but it was the ‘cover’ aka his website that made me think there was no way he could be right about everything. But what can I say? I’ve been burned before.

Fedor Emelianenko has turned his attention away from MMA to once again dominate Russia’s national sport of Sambo. “I am here to destroy, devestate, and decimate,” said Fedor as he arrived at SSK club. “My opponents will not be left standing. Fedor is no one’s bitch.”

Earlier in the year, Fedor swept the European Sambo Championships. Only one opponent was brave enough to face him – Fedor crushed every bone in his body. “Let this be a message to the wives of all who face me: your husbands will be ruined. Only a husk shall remain.”

Day one of the Russian Sambo Championships went the same, with Fedor humiliating his three competitors in under two minutes. Bystanders looked on in horror as Fedor smashed his second opponent’s nose to dust and drank his blood from a gourd fashioned from the skull of some past victim.

At the end of the day, Fedor hung back to intimidate lower weight class fighters and threaten children. “Do you not see that I cannot be stopped? Bow before me, dogs. I am superior to you all.”

When asked why he continues to ravage Sambo tournaments around the world, keeping all glory to himself rather than allow others a chance to win, Fedor answered “All glory belongs to Fedor. All Sambo belongs to Fedor. Someday when I am old and decrepit a new champion may replace me. But he will have to kill me. And Fedor, he does not die so easy, hmm?”

Next stop for Fedor after the Russian Sambo Tournament is the Special Olympics, where he plans to defeat autistic Russian gold medalist Grubo Trevsnotvik. “Grubu, he take away from my Sambo legacy.” says Fedor with a small smile. “No one in Sambo is safe from my wrath. It is absolute!”


(Tim Kennedy stars in a Maxim photoshoot based around Ranger Up gear, who sponsors a bunch of our fellow blogger sites. Some of their stuff is kinda sorta a bit racist, but I guess when you’re stuck serving in the Middle East you’re allowed to hate the people you’re killing.)

Shane Mosley sues over steroid allegations
Shane Mosley is denying he knew that his strength and conditioning coach gave him steroids. “That’s what I’m saying” replies the coach.

Gomi concentrating on a good 2008
2007 was pretty balls for Gomi. His only performance of the year was a drubbing from Nick Diaz. I guess at this point he’s itching to get back into the ring because he says he’s not doing anything but training and ‘reading books’.

Everyone wants a title shot
Jon Fitch thinks a win over some guy earns him a title shot. Keith Jardine also thinks he should be next in line for a shot. Of course, it looks like Jardine is gonna have to get past Wanderlei Silva first. And yeah. We’ll see how that pans out.

Randy Couture speaks lawsuits
Randy drops a few soundbytes on what it feels like to be in the UFC’s legal crosshairs. He seems pretty confident and comfortable, basically passing the UFC’s lawsuit off as an attempt to bully him around.

Mike Pyle is unemployed
It’s still funny to hear from Mike Pyle, who’s currently without a contract and picking up random fights against random people. A few months back he was offered a contract and title fight with EliteXC, but Pyle was too damned good for that shit. Pyle also blames personal issues for his loss to Jake Shields on his way out of EliteXC. If by personal issues you mean “a case of the stupids”, then I agree.

IMG buying out ProElite?
Looks like IMG might be buying a majority stake in ProElite very soon. You could spend about 10 minutes reading into the company or you can trust me when I say this is a serious company with serious cash and serious resources. Seriously. I’ve never really understood what the fuck ProElite was up to … I get the idea of a parent company managing it’s promotions, but ProElite seems to be burning huge piles of money trying to build up it’s community site and shit like that. It’d be interesting to see what IMG does with them.

HDNet teams up with Strikeforce
Seems like a day doesn’t go by without HDNet teaming up with another promotion. I’m down with Strikeforce working with them … this means never having to watch a Yahoo stream of their shows again.

 

Another Fedor hug, this time with Jean Claude Van Damme. This isn’t the first hug these two have shared, and while I’m not against guys hugging (actually I like to consider myself very pro-hugs), the look Jean Claude gets when he latches onto Fedor is just … something else.

By the way, the MMA Ninja (sweet) has an interesting article of why B-grade actors like Jean Claude are revered by guys like Fedor. That’s where I got this pic.

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