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When Evan Tanner started Team Tanner, I immediately signed up to the Team Tanner email list to see what the fuck was up with it all. Originally I wasn’t planning on becoming a part of the team but when I saw the sickass shirts they were giving with $100 memberships, I decided that if I still had some money after booze, drugs, and miscellaneous Hello Kitty paraphernalia, then I would definitely possibly maybe become a part (maybe).

Well, it looks like I’m not the only one who’s blown all their money on a Hello Kitty Tarina Tarantino Bride Choker. Because if I’m reading the latest Team Tanner email correctly, only TWELVE people have donated over the past 3 weeks. Of course, the concept is still very raw and I’m sure most people are waiting for Evan’s first fight to be officially announced before committing cash to the cause. But you’d figure with all the douchey people hanging off Evan’s nuts on his MySpace page, he’d have at least 30 or 40 people by now!

Full text of the Team Tanner email after the jump

Hello everyone!!! Christmas is almost here…..I hope everyone has all of their shopping done!! I can honestly say…..I do not! I have been too busy. I did drop my daughter off at the mall this weekend and she spent $400 on like 2 tshirts!! haha I will save myself at the very end with season passes for snowboarding for this winter and to the local amusement park for the summer. I know it is kind of like cheating BUT if you don’t tell they will never know! :)

I would like announce the members of Team Tanner so far!!

Raven from Michigan

Dustin from LosAngeles, CA

Daniel from Kent WA

Jason from Mesa AZ

Rebecca from Vista CA

Shawn from Canada(who will be moving soon so I will add your new city next time we send out a list of the Team)

Jesse from Grant’s Pass, OR

JJ from Thousand’s Oaks CA

Jason from Chicago IL

Caleb from Piedmont, SC

Noah from Raleigh, NC

Jason from Red Hook NY

I want to extend a huge thank you for all of the support of Team Tanner. I would like to say however it looks like we need a few more people that names start with J on the team lol

If anyone needs anything or has any questions, please do not hesitate. We get a lot of emails and I worry that somehow I am going to miss someone who needs an answer to something. If I have ever done so, please know it is not on purpose…….and email me again to tell give me heck over it!!! :)

I hope everyone has a blessed holiday!!!!

Kyria

Killing the impotent rumors that Michael Bisping would face off against Evan Tanner at UFC82, Sherdog is announcing that Bisping will instead face off against Charles McCarthy at UFC83 in London. They source American Top Team for this info, but really … when news this dumb is announced you know it’s true because it’s way too stupid for anyone to make it up.

So who the fuck is this Charles McCarthy guy anyways? Apparently he was on The Ultimate Fighter 4, getting eliminated in the first round by Pete Sell. He’s also got the most awesome website ever. Past that this guy is a fucking ghost … I’ve seen 12 year olds with a bigger google footprint. I guess the important thing to know about Charles is he’s being set up to give Michael an easy start in the middleweight division.

I’m kinda torn about this … I mean, the UFC did basically tell Bisping to drop down a weight class, and it could be considered ‘reasonable’ that he get an easier fight for his first outing. On the other hand, Bisping’s already been given enough softballs in his career to open some sort of stupid softball emporium. There should be some kind of rule that you only get one softball fight in your UFC career, and after that it’s constant meat grinder. Can’t cut it? Back to the minors, you filthy limey.

 

Did you know that Tim Sylvia is a movie star? That’s right … he was in the movie ‘Bobby Z’, which suffered the same lack of notice as Tito Ortiz’s role in Valley of the Wolves. Well, it’s time to right this wrong and give you a glimpse of Big Tim’s assets on the screen. Also somewhat visible to the back center-left is Chuck Liddell, who dies 45 seconds later in the movie.

The movie features a buttload of MMA fighters, specifically Miletich guys. Pat Miletich was called in to coordinate fights and brought along Ben Rothwell, Robbie Lawler, and Sam Sheridan, who documented the whole experience in his book ‘A Fighter’s Heart’. Overall the thing is pretty damned mediocre, but it’s kinda keen to watch if you have nothing better to do on a Wednesday night.

I always thought Gary Shaw looked like a cheap 80’s mobster in his retarded tracksuits and big fat rings on his big fat fingers. And while of course I’m sure everything he says below is pure business, it certainly does sound like a sketchy mob thing where Shaw hasn’t gotten his ‘cut’ from Gina Carano’s American Gladiator deal:

Sam Caplan: Gina Carano is going to appear in the upcoming revival of American Gladiators on NBC under the name “Crush.” Did she consult with EliteXC before signing on to do the show?

Gary Shaw: Well, that’s a legal question. I don’t want to discuss that specific question. But if we can work out everything then I think it could be great for Gina. I’m a big, big fan of hers; a big fan of her family’s. I think it would help in her career both on television and in mixed martial arts. I know she wants to get back into the cage, she’s told me that on several occasions. It will just give her a lot more visibility (and) I hope we can work out everything in front of us.

Sam Caplan: What things need to be worked out?

Gary Shaw: I never discuss legal issues or money issues in the press.

Jeez, it doesn’t sound like there’s issues at all. Not! It’s also interesting to note that Gina Carano didn’t appear in the American Gladiators commercial that’s been playing over the past few weeks. Could it be that there’s some contractual issues that are going to keep her from appearing?

(oh, how could i almost forget AGAIN: this photo is by the very excellent All Elbows, who you should most definitely check out, and if you’re like a magazine or some shit, pay her for some stuff)

Considering all the crazy hardcore fans MMA has, it always surprises me when stuff like this slips through the cracks. Tito Ortiz was in a movie called Valley of the Wolves last year, and clips are only just now getting onto the internet. Since the movie is Turkish, you probably have no idea what anyone is saying, so here’s a synopsis of the scene from Wikipedia:

While captives are transported on a long journey in a container on a truck, one guard says to the other: “They might suffocate in the container because there is no fresh air supply”. The truck stops, the (American) guard gets off the truck and fires hundreds of bullet-holes into the container with an automatic weapon “in order to make holes for the air to get in”, but many detainees are injured or die.

A similar event is reported to have occurred in Afghanistan after the battle for Mazari Sharif on November 9, 2001, with Taliban soldiers in the container and soldiers of the Afghan Northern Alliance as their guardians, as described in the documentary film Massacre at Mazar by Irish filmmaker Jamie Doran. This event is also reenacted in the film The Road to Guantanamo.

Haha woo! Go Fightlinker, we’re your source for laughs and fun! And information about war atrocities! Woo! Horse cocks!

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