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There’s something hypnotic about a Sean Salmon KO … maybe it’s the way he goes all stiff the second he gets hit, or maybe it’s how he always stretches straight out with his heels off the ground when he’s laid out. Either way, I can’t stop watching this shit. The Fight Report has the gifs, and they are stunning.

Props to Cecil Peoples for his long jump over Salmon, which is graceful beyond definition. You’ll notice before the KO he’s hanging around on the complete other side of the Octagon, probably talking to some hot bitches or something.

Hey, do you remember that lame MMA movie ‘Never Submit’ that came out with press releases week after week regarding fighters who would appear in the film? And do you remember as time dragged on half the fighters dropped out, then the main actor dropped out, then the whole thing fell apart, and then there was some weird lawsuit?

Yeah, that movie had a snowball’s chance in hell of ever being made.

But hey, the retarded fate of Never Submit hasn’t stopped James Hergott (the guy who was responsible for Never Submit) from trying again. This time, he’s the president of OWNED Entertainment. The name of the movie? OWNED.

But wait! It’s gets better. Just like last time, Hergott is spending more time putting out press releases and promising star struck fighters a part in the movie than actually getting the film ready to go. Check out some choice snips from the latest press release:

Owned Entertainment, Inc. President James Hergott announced last night on Fight_Net Radio that he has cast MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller in the MMA Movie “Owned.” Jason will be playing the role of a psychotic villain in the movie.

“Owned” is an exciting sci-fi action thriller set in the future, which is more than just a typical MMA movie. It is a mix of “Die Hard,” “The Matrix,” and “A History of Violence.”

I’d comment more, but I don’t really think I have to.

I have no idea what Bisping/Evans match Mike Sloan from Sherdog watched, but it can’t be the same one I did. Or perhaps he was tripping balls on ketamine or something. Either way, I’ve never read a more incorrect assessment of a match in my entire life:

Evans, for the most part, proved that his stamina was not going to fail him in the three rounder. He also showed he could stand and trade with someone who has much better technique on the feet and that his wrestling ability ranks in the upper echelon among MMA fighters.

Bisping, meanwhile, showcased that he can scramble to safety from takedowns, defend himself properly while on his back and that he tries to win his fights rather than trying not to lose.

Oh, where to start? Evan’s stamina. Okay: take everything Sloan said and reverse it … and then it will make sense:

Evans, for the most part, proved that his stamina WILL ALWAYS fail him in the three rounder. He also DID NOT show he could stand and trade with someone who has much better technique on the feet and that his wrestling ability DOES NOT rank in the upper echelon among MMA fighters.

There we go. Evans blew his wad in the first and by the third was barely able to do anything. His striking never looked dangerous and his takedowns past the first round were sloppy at best.

I’m not going to argue completely with Sloan’s opinion of Bisping … he did showcase his ‘scrambling to safety’ abilities, and when that elite scrambling didn’t work he managed to protect himself on his back. But the whole “tries to win his fights rather than trying not to lose” thing … HELLO! Bisping had a round and a half with a gassed Rashad Evans and still didn’t do enough to win the third round. If that was Bisping trying to win, then I don’t see him winning too many judge’s decisions down the road.

Hey everyone … I just watched last week’s TUF finally, and as usual I immediately follow that up with a look at Mac Danzig’s TUF blog, which always has something interesting to say:

The “coin toss” episode was pretty funny in real life. They edited it down to about one minute, but in all actuality it took about 20 minutes for them to do the entire thing. It was the most unorganized, dysfunctional attempt at achieving a choice that I have ever seen. Our team just sat there as Serra and Dana argued about what exactly would happen when the coin was tossed, and whether the guys would be sent to Hughes’ team if they called it correctly or incorrectly.

I remember Ray Longo trying to get them to stop and explain it all again multiple times, while War Machine would chime in sporadically with stuttering gibberish that nobody seemed to listen to. At least 10 times, Drago yelled in his powerful Long Island accent “C’mon! Just DO it!” and Dana had to stop a few times because all the bickering had gotten him confused as to how the whole thing would actually work. And you all thought flipping a coin was easy.

It’s always interesting to hear afterwards what they decide to cut and what they decide to keep in. While the title of this blog points to the idea that when Dana looks silly they cut things out, I bet it has more to do with Matt Serra being a whiny bitch for 20 minutes. If that’s the case then thank you Spike TV … watching TUF always puts me on the edge of killing myself but any more “I’m not picking, I’m not picking, this ain’t right we’re a team!” and I would have had to follow through this time.

On the Bandwagon:

  • Joe Lauzon: The guy steamrolled Jason Reinhardt and is only going to get better. No matter how much of a goof he is, I can no longer keep claiming he’s just been lucky up to this point. The boy’s got some serious skills.
  • Akihiro Gono: I haven’t gotten to see the fight, but I saw all I needed to see from the 10 second highlight. Zebra stripe tights and a sick armbar to boot? Sign me up for the Gono express!

Off the Bandwagon:

  • Michael Bisping: No, I’m not off the Houston bandwagon like the rest of the universe. But I am off the Bisping bandwagon. I gave him a pass when he almost fucked up against Elvis. And then I gave him a pass on the Hamill fight because really … who really expected Hamill to show up with firepower out of the blue? But at this point I’m sick of Bisping … he had two rounds with a gassed Rashad Evans to win my loyalty and he blew it.
  • Spencer Fisher: I think Cung Le has better takedown defense than Spencer Fisher … the King looked like an absolute scrub in this fight and if you’re gonna pick one fighter who was ‘exposed’ in this event, it was Fisher.

Everyone ignored:

  • The fact that Rashad Evans gassed hardcore (again).
  • The fact that Frankie Edgar had nothing in his toolbox past takedowns and guard passing.

Everyone said:

  • That Bisping got some karmic payback for the Hamill fiasco. I gotta agree, if Bisping didn’t have some serious douche points that needed redeeming I probably would have been angry about that judgment. That said, the only thing that could have made that match more farcical was a tie.
  • That Houston Alexander has been ‘exposed’. Like his lack of ground game wasn’t already as obvious as a gigantic 50 foot penis shooting multicolored laser beams.
  • That Karo can’t finish fights. Welcome to what we knew last year, people.
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