twitter google

Not to put Semmy Schiavo down or anything, but he sure doesn’t seem to have the support of many fans going into his fight with Clay Guida. Not since the heady days of 2006 where voters declared their apathy for Tim Sylvia vs Jeff Monson has there been such a one sided vote! Which to me is a bit surprising, considering the fact that Clay Guida consistently manages to lose (even when he’s supposed to win). And when he does win, he STILL loses.

I’m sure all these people who are voting on him at know this as well. If you asked them if they wanted to bet money on the fight I imagine a lot of them would go “Shyeah … about that…”. For those of you foolish enough to still consider the option: a cautionary tale.

Thanks to jackal Godzillad for sending along the heads up on this! We’re butt brothers (it’s not what you think).

Like I said during the Low Blow UFC 81 breakdown show (our best show of the year thus far, by the way), I haven’t seen a toss like this since Summer Slam. I think the Ultimate Warrior did it to Macho Man Randy Savage after bouncing him off the ropes or some shit. I wish I could tell you more, but my memories of that time were hazy and spotty. Mom says it’s because Uncle Carl touched me while we watched wrestling. She tried to get Carl put in jail but Carl bought me the Wrestlemania VHS boxed set so I wouldn’t testify. I figure even if he did touch me, the boxed set is pretty sweet.

(Two hot chicks and the rotting corpse of Matt Lindland, which was dragged out of a river and stuffed in a gino shirt for the UFC81 afterparty)

IFL ‘teams up’ with HDNet
Is it a good thing when you go from a shitty network channel no one watches to a small specialty cable channel no one watches? To me, I’m happy because this means I get to watch the IFL live (which makes it tolerable) and in High Def (which is fucking sweet). But was this deal worth anything or did the IFL give it away for free again?

Jason MacDonald signs on for 4 more
Jason was pretty unhappy being stuck rematching Joe Doerkson at UFC83, but at least now he’s got a new 4 fight contract and some security. Of course, the UFC routintely cancels their contracts and cuts fighters free if they lose. So I guess that’s not really very much security.

Crazy Rich Bergeron puts together crazy youtube video
Remember that dude who’s been on a tear for years trying to bring Xyience down? Xyience sued him for millions of dollars. And then other stuff happened. I don’t know, it still doesn’t make much sense. But Rich Bergeron made a youtube video of it, which still doesn’t make sense. Maybe if you do a whackload of angel dust, it might. Worth a shot. I mean, who needs an excuse to do some high grade PCP? Not Rich Bergeron.

Filho is giving Sonnen a rematch
I’m surprised that Paulo Filho is willing to give Chael Sonnen a rematch so soon. Sure, there’s a bit of controversy from retards who don’t think a guy screaming like a bitch while his arm is being torn off indicates a ‘verbal tap’. But not enough to actually warrant an immediate rematch. This is Brazilian pride fucking with Filho.

Aoki preparing for his next fight
How do we know Aoki is getting ready for another fight? Because he’s gotten in touch with the guy who makes his tights.

Why Ontario sucks
There’s 1001 reasons why Ontario is the armpit of Canada. One of them is the fact that MMA is banned. Here’s the skinny on that.

Matt Lindland’s not coming back to the UFC
Dana White continues to treat anyone remotely associated with the IFL as a social leper, refusing to offer a contract to Matt Lindland.

Forrest Griffin is an a-hole
Everyone always talks about what a chill guy Forrest Griffin is. I’ve had bad experiences with him. So has Luke Thomas. In a way the fact that he can be a complete tool makes me like him even more.

Patrick Cote vs Alan Belcher?
It’s a toss up between some unknown guy and Alan Belcher. I pray it ends up being Cote vs Belcher … what a fucking slugfest that would be.

We’re getting a decent surge in traffic from forums regarding our petition to make UFC Fight Night 13 a three hour show. For those of you visiting (and those lazy fucks already here as well), I encourage you to check out our weekly webcomic. We’ve been regular like metamucil the past month on this bad boy, and things are starting to heat up with a lawsuit from the UFC.

I know, I know. You’re used to webcomics that suck dangly old man balls. But just like our radio show, our webcomic is actually GOOD. So you should really go check it out now. And every Friday morning when the next one is out. Do it. Peer pressure. Do it. Do. It. Yeah. That’s right bitch.

Just a quick reminder that the UFC is pulling out all the freaking stops for UFC Fight Night 13. They just officially announced a number of rumored fights, making the card officially the most insane card in SpikeTV history. Check this shit out:

Officially announced bouts for UFC Fight Night 13:
-Kenny Florian vs. Joe Lauzon
-Karo Parisyan vs. Thiago Alves
-Matt Hamill vs. Stephan Bonnar
-Marcus Aurelio vs. Spencer Fisher
-Din Thomas vs. Josh Neer
-Clay Guida vs. Samy Schiavo
-Tommy Speer vs. Anthony Johnson

Rumored bouts, not yet officially announced:
-Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard
-Houston Alexander vs. James Irvin

“Hey Fightlinker” you say. “This does me no goods. Spike TV will only show like 4 fights. That sucks!” Not so, my friend. There’s a chance that we could be seeing more than that:

That [a three hour show] has been kicked around the office. It is up to Spike. We have suggested it,” said Dana White.

So now we have a chance to do something good. Before I urged you all to support the Keith Jardine Techno Viking petition. But deep down in our hearts we all new Keith was too much of a welly to ever go through with it. So now I say we do something that may actually make a difference. Let’s contact Spike and harass them until they agree to make UFC Fight Night 13 a three hour show. Their email is

If you’re too lazy to write a real letter, you can copy and paste this one:

Subject: UFC Fight Night 13 on April 2nd

Dear Benevolent Spike TV Executives

How about making UFC Fight Night on April 2nd a three hour show instead of two? I don’t know if you pay attention to stuff like this (you are probably pretty busy finding manswers to all our questions), but the fight card is pretty damn spectacular. I don’t know how ratings work, but I am confident in saying that if you make this show one hour longer, your ratings will quadrouple. Hell, they’ll probably tetracize. This results in more money for you, which you can spend on more James Bond marathons or more golden beds full of hot women. And it will also result in more happiness and joy for us, your loyal MMA watching fan.

So please, make UFC Fight Night on April 2nd a three hour show instead of two. You say that you are a network for men. It is time to prove this claim. Help me Spike TV, you’re my only hope. That was a star wars reference. Sweet.

Insert your name here.

As a side note, they’re actually pretty good at responding to emails they receive. I wrote them a long letter regarding their scaling back of Star Trek shows and they responded quite politely (even though I used the word ‘asshole’ and ‘space-jews’ a lot). They were also nice enough not to add me onto some shitty network email list, which is more than I can say about the UFC’s contact email.


**UPDATE** Xavier has done another great email you can send instead:

Hello Spike peoples,

You are going to show UFC Fight Night 13. You are going to make it three hours long, rather than two hours long. I can speak confidently about you making it three hours long because I have just told you to do so. FN13 is a stacked card. I wish to see all of these fights live. You may wonder why you will do this simply because I told you to.

You will do it because if you do, I will watch all your awful commercials. Yes, even the awful f’n body spray stupid commercials you show, and even the stupid horror movie commercials you show. I’ll even be nice enough to watch your commercials for other shows on your network, like the dumb shows where males go ga-ga about oversized breasts and where animals attack alien warships and crap in the “unstaged” real wilderness home movies.

I will watch all of those commercials over the three hour period and you will show all the fights over that three hours. That will be our devil’s bargain. Otherwise, I will DVR your show and skip your crappy commercials.

This is a fair deal, please signify your acceptance by the end of February.


Page 2,777 of 9,5331...102030...2,7752,7762,7772,7782,779...2,7902,8002,810...9,533