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Apparently, some MMA fans are dumber than dirt – they think that Kimbo’s beard is an unfair advantage that absorbs punching power.

Yes, for real. I shit thee not.

When I first read about this on CagePotato, I thought “No way in fucking hell did anyone really think this. It must just be some attention grabbing bullshit.” But lo and behold, do a couple of google searches and you will find numerous threads on lots of different message boards where intellectual champions argue the finer points of beard physics. Sherdog.net at least had the decency to delete a lot of these (you know your thread is dumb when…), but Google Cache is your friend. I can now rest easy knowing that if I die in ass surgery today, you guys will have enough funny MMA content to last you at least a week or two. Or three.

The ‘controversy’ got so big that Bas Rutten even responded to the topic:

This is a beard from hair for crying out loud. If you believe this than you have to believe also that Kimbo has also less speed because the beard is not aerodynamic and will slow his head movement down, so that will make up for the impact absorbing BS, hahaha, man, they should glue some hair on air bags, people now will survive the crash because the one layer of beard took the impact away.

I have to believe that this whole thing is being perpetrated by retarded 13 year olds. I have to. My faith in humanity on an average day is shaky at best. Darfur, slave labor, the rape and pillaging of the earth’s natural resources. And now people think beards protect you from punches. I weep, people. I weep.

Pretty shocking that stuff like this happens out of the blue:

Rene Ayangma, 20, died suddenly Tuesday night following a light sparring session at the Largo Fitness Centre in Stratford, P.E.I. Ayangma was preparing for his second professional MMA bout which was scheduled for March 15 at ECC 7: Bad Blood against Kyle Sanford.

According to The Canadian Press, Ayangma fell to a knee and then forward onto the floor where he lost consciousness. An instructor rushed to Ayangma’s aid and attempted to preform CPR as he still has “shallow breathing.” He was pronounced dead at the hospital.

Just a reminder that MMA is extremely demanding on your body, and if you’re going to get serious about it then it makes a lot of sense to get a thorough checkup with your doctor and run your diet and exercise routines past an expert. I’m not saying that Rene didn’t do this … details on this entire story are very short, and there’s 1001 ways this could have happened. But it’s worth reminding people whenever something like this happens: Be careful with yo’selves, don’t cut corners with your health.

Remember David Terrell, who’s made out of glass? Well, it looks like the UFC has released him for being a total pussy. Just read this paragraph and tell me if it doesn’t make you want to smash the guy in the face with a steel pipe:

The report on the site confirms rumors that had been circulating which suggested that Terrell was unhappy with his contracted pay from the UFC. There were even those close to Terrell who believe that he would have competed in spite of some of his injuries had he been happier with his pay.

Okay, first off: why the fuck did you sign the contract if you didn’t like it? Is this a situation where you were still on your old UFC contract from way back in 2005? Little advice: if you sign a 3 or 4 fight deal several years ago and take 3 years to finish it, it’s gonna depreciate. Just some basic financial knowledge for you there. Your fault.

Secondly, basing your decision to pull out of a fight around how much you’re getting paid is about the most cocksucking, bastardly things I’ve ever heard of in my life. I already had MAJOR doubts about Terrell considering his long history of punking out of fights. But this puts me over the edge. David Terrell sucks balls.

Latest news from the XTreme Couture blog has Wanderlei training one on one under Randy Couture twice a week. The blog also talks about Wanderlei’s attempt to ‘rope-a-dope’ Chuck in their last fight:

Despite physically training here for the Chuck fight, Wanderlei didn’t train with our team outside of sparring with Shawn Tompkins. Instead he worked with his personal trainers. Wanderlei tells us that when he went to rope a dope Chuck in the first round of their fight he realized he couldn’t bounce of the cage and counter Chuck the way he could coming off the ropes in the PRIDE ring.

I’m just gonna throw out the worlds largest DUH on that one:

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH


(Hermes Franca is another fighter who’s thrown down for a Washington)

The big wacky news from yesterday was OMG SOMEONE 4 ELITEXC WUZ FIGHTING FOR A DOLLAR. Yep, that’s right: Moyses Gabin was down on the athletic commission books as being paid 100 cents for his fight against Jirka Hlavati (he won the fight too, by the way). The official explanation? Real payment was made by a third party that arranged the fight.

Now what I’m wondering is why the UFC doesn’t run some kinda shell game like this as well. I’ve always been amazed that the athletic commissions let all that ‘secret locker room money‘ go unreported. But fuck … if they’ll accept $1 payments as legit, then the UFC can just pay EVERYONE one dollar. That way retards like Tim Sylvia can feel better that Brock is getting paid the same amount he is.

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