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 The guys from DSE did a pretty good job of fucking over Zuffa with the PRIDE sale. If I was to compare that business deal to a high school scuffle, I’d say DSE pantsed Zuffa, gave them a wedgie, and hung them from a coathook in a toilet stall. In other words, total ownage to the extreme.

But now it looks like Zuffa has run home and tattled:

–Pride FC Worldwide Holdings (basically the dummy company set up by UFC after the Pride purchase) have filed a lawsuit against Dream Stage Entertainment, Dream Stage Holdings and Nobuyuki Sakakibara claiming they were defrauded millions of dollars in the purchase of the Pride and Pride Bushido brands.

According to Zach Arnold (who is starting to get a creepy Nostradamus vibe going again), Zuffa got stiffed in pretty much every possible way:

  • Fighter contracts: Non-transferrable
  • Pride employees: Uncooperative and scheming
  • Pride brand: useless in Japan due to yakuza scandal
  • Video Library: Haha, turns out that was owned by Fuji TV
  • Killed the competition: If by killed the competition they mean bought up the competition’s debt and now the competition is running shows again in everything but name, then sure. But I don’t think that fits the textbook definition of ‘killed’. Closer to ‘helped’.

I’m sure Zuffa got a bunch of office supplies, a few desks + chairs, and some cool merchandise out of it. But after you pay somewhere in the realm of high millions, I imagine you expect a bit more. But hey … this is business, people. I’m interested in knowing how the fuck Zuffa’s going to explain the fact that they didn’t realize they were getting fucked. Are they going to claim they didn’t understand all that squiggly squok writing the Japanese put on the contract? Did Dana White call their Japanese lawyer “Long Dong Duck” or something?

I’m clueless to how international business works, but I do get the feeling that it’s going to be kinda hard getting any money out of a shady Japanese company like DSE. So what’s the point behind this lawsuit? Is Zuffa just continuing the trend of litigation to prove no one fucks with them without heading to court? Is this all just a big play to appease the Nevada Gaming Commission? I’m sure shit will settle somehow like all fun lawsuits do before court (unlike shitty lawsuits like Zuffa vs Couture which will end in 2022). But if it doesn’t it’ll be interesting to see what comes out of this.

Not to put Semmy Schiavo down or anything, but he sure doesn’t seem to have the support of many fans going into his fight with Clay Guida. Not since the heady days of 2006 where voters declared their apathy for Tim Sylvia vs Jeff Monson has there been such a one sided vote! Which to me is a bit surprising, considering the fact that Clay Guida consistently manages to lose (even when he’s supposed to win). And when he does win, he STILL loses.

I’m sure all these people who are voting on him at UFC.com know this as well. If you asked them if they wanted to bet money on the fight I imagine a lot of them would go “Shyeah … about that…”. For those of you foolish enough to still consider the option: a cautionary tale.

Thanks to jackal Godzillad for sending along the heads up on this! We’re butt brothers (it’s not what you think).

Like I said during the Low Blow UFC 81 breakdown show (our best show of the year thus far, by the way), I haven’t seen a toss like this since Summer Slam. I think the Ultimate Warrior did it to Macho Man Randy Savage after bouncing him off the ropes or some shit. I wish I could tell you more, but my memories of that time were hazy and spotty. Mom says it’s because Uncle Carl touched me while we watched wrestling. She tried to get Carl put in jail but Carl bought me the Wrestlemania VHS boxed set so I wouldn’t testify. I figure even if he did touch me, the boxed set is pretty sweet.

(Two hot chicks and the rotting corpse of Matt Lindland, which was dragged out of a river and stuffed in a gino shirt for the UFC81 afterparty)

IFL ‘teams up’ with HDNet
Is it a good thing when you go from a shitty network channel no one watches to a small specialty cable channel no one watches? To me, I’m happy because this means I get to watch the IFL live (which makes it tolerable) and in High Def (which is fucking sweet). But was this deal worth anything or did the IFL give it away for free again?

Jason MacDonald signs on for 4 more
Jason was pretty unhappy being stuck rematching Joe Doerkson at UFC83, but at least now he’s got a new 4 fight contract and some security. Of course, the UFC routintely cancels their contracts and cuts fighters free if they lose. So I guess that’s not really very much security.

Crazy Rich Bergeron puts together crazy youtube video
Remember that dude who’s been on a tear for years trying to bring Xyience down? Xyience sued him for millions of dollars. And then other stuff happened. I don’t know, it still doesn’t make much sense. But Rich Bergeron made a youtube video of it, which still doesn’t make sense. Maybe if you do a whackload of angel dust, it might. Worth a shot. I mean, who needs an excuse to do some high grade PCP? Not Rich Bergeron.

Filho is giving Sonnen a rematch
I’m surprised that Paulo Filho is willing to give Chael Sonnen a rematch so soon. Sure, there’s a bit of controversy from retards who don’t think a guy screaming like a bitch while his arm is being torn off indicates a ‘verbal tap’. But not enough to actually warrant an immediate rematch. This is Brazilian pride fucking with Filho.

Aoki preparing for his next fight
How do we know Aoki is getting ready for another fight? Because he’s gotten in touch with the guy who makes his tights.

Why Ontario sucks
There’s 1001 reasons why Ontario is the armpit of Canada. One of them is the fact that MMA is banned. Here’s the skinny on that.

Matt Lindland’s not coming back to the UFC
Dana White continues to treat anyone remotely associated with the IFL as a social leper, refusing to offer a contract to Matt Lindland.

Forrest Griffin is an a-hole
Everyone always talks about what a chill guy Forrest Griffin is. I’ve had bad experiences with him. So has Luke Thomas. In a way the fact that he can be a complete tool makes me like him even more.

Patrick Cote vs Alan Belcher?
It’s a toss up between some unknown guy and Alan Belcher. I pray it ends up being Cote vs Belcher … what a fucking slugfest that would be.

We’re getting a decent surge in traffic from forums regarding our petition to make UFC Fight Night 13 a three hour show. For those of you visiting (and those lazy fucks already here as well), I encourage you to check out our weekly webcomic. We’ve been regular like metamucil the past month on this bad boy, and things are starting to heat up with a lawsuit from the UFC.

I know, I know. You’re used to webcomics that suck dangly old man balls. But just like our radio show, our webcomic is actually GOOD. So you should really go check it out now. And every Friday morning when the next one is out. Do it. Peer pressure. Do it. Do. It. Yeah. That’s right bitch.

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