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What do you get when you cross two web noobs, a comic, and a bunch of CSS that neither of them understand? You get a comic that’s been sitting in limbo for over 3 months! Yes, we are pained to admit it, but Ryan and myself are just completely incapable of making the CSS work for the comic.

This is why, rather than despair and say goodnight to this most valid concept, we are reaching to you, our beloved Jackals, for help. We need someone to assist us in converting a very basic comicpress theme to match how the rest of the site looks. Everything is setup; we just need help making it look right. Frankly, I spent days on it and just wanted to shoot myself. It’s like a rubix cube from hell … when it looks good in Firefox, it sucks in IE. And vice versa.

So to anyone who responds to this post and is serious, I’ll shoot you a quick email, and we can get cracking on it. The sooner we have help, the quicker you’ll all be rewarded to what is perhaps the most over-hyped part of the site. See you soon, comic fans.

Excelsior!

MMANews has a pretty good breakdown of the HDNet conference call leading up to this week’s Reckless Abandon romance novel .. er, I mean MMA event! The conference call starts out with no one wanting to ask any questions to Andrew Simon, HDNet Fights’ CEO. Ouch. Dana White he is not. Then it moves on to Guy Mezger (who I think everyone just assumed ran shit), who had this to say about Sean Salmon:

Q. You mentioned earlier about Sean [Salmon] dropping out. This has been the second time Sean has had to drop out of an HDNets event. Can you talk a little about that?

A. “I think he makes some very poor decisions. It is very difficult for us to want to build in or around him for what I feel are irresponsible decisions. He lets his manager influence some of his decisions, and that I think is causing him to make some bad choices.”

One thing to note is that HDNet Fights has changed their contracts from “No fights 30 days before an event” to “No fights 60 days before or 30 days after an event”. No word yet on if this is being called the Salmon Clause.

I’ve already talked about how fucked up Jens Pulver’s life has been. But it looks like there’s always something new about his life to talk about. I have to wonder how the rest of the Pulver family feels about their shit getting all over CBS Sports and Yahoo every time Jens is about to fight. It’s not like they deserve privacy considering the situation. But most people try to keep those dirty family secrets as just that: secrets.

Not Jens, who dishes the latest dirt on his brother Dustin and his sister Jamaica (P.S to prospective parents: naming your child Jamaica = doomed from the start) :

For years the problem was his father, whose violent rampages against young Jens and his mother spurred Jens in 2003 to write a biography, Little Evil. In the past few years, however, the problem has become his other brother, Dustin.

Last month, Dustin Pulver was sentenced to 50 years in prison for a string of armed robberies, kidnapping and sexual abuse. Dustin Pulver appeared before the judge bearing one tattoo of a $100 bill and another that said, Drug Dealer. According to published reports, Dustin Pulver greeted the judge’s sentence by sneering back, “What do you want me to do, crack? Beg? I’m not going to beg you for nothing. You ain’t God.”

Jens Pulver smiles a different smile, a sad one, when he talks about his other brother.

“He’s beyond violent,” he says of Dustin. “Has he ever killed anyone? Put it like this: He never got busted for it. But he’s done some things, and he’ll spend the rest of his life in prison.”

Pulver says his sister, Jamaica, also is in prison. He says she lost her kids because of drug problems. Jens’ mother has been caring for Jamaica’s kids in a location Jens won’t reveal. He says his father, the other Jens Pulver, doesn’t need to know that kind of information.

Here’s the latest news from M1 Global, who continue to prove they’re all just doing their own thing without bothering to talk to any of those dudes in America who ‘run the company':

The German Web site groundandpound.de reported that M-1 Global has scheduled its first German event for April 2008.

This is kinda interesting news because while M1 will be holding it’s first German event in April, M1 will also be holding it’s first US show in April! Of course, when you’re doing so many events, there’s going to be a bit of overlap:

Additionally, Nikmaslak revealed that the promotion has plans for six shows in Russia, six shows in Japan and another four events in the Netherlands in the upcoming year.

For those of you who’s heads hurt when trying to add double digits, that’s 16 shows around the world that M1 is planning to throw. Oh, not including America.

Hey you! How many times have you been to Iraq? What? You’re serving there right now? Well fuck … I was more asking all the people who aren’t serving in Iraq. What have they done to support the troops? What? They’ve got family over there? Shit. This isn’t going well.

Anyways, the point is: most people who say they support the troops don’t really give a shit about them, and most celebrities couldn’t even be bothered to visit bases in America to show support. Tito Ortiz on the other hand is on his way to visit Baghdad for the second time. This is in addition to several visits to military hospitals stateside and appearances at USO shows.

People like to give Tito a lot of shit, but I usually don’t say much more than he can be a whiny bitch and he makes a lot of dumb business moves. Oh, and he hasn’t looked impressive in the Octagon sans-Ken Shamrock in a few years now. But you gotta give him props for walking the walk and taking the time to support the troops.

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