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After every EliteXC show comes the standard complaints: it’s trashy as fuck, and the hip hop has to go. I’m gonna mix things up a bit though this time, and concentrate on someone who’s gone from being pretty decent to downright obnoxious: Mauro Renallo.

I know most of you guys remember the Mauro from the Pride days. Back then he was obviously kept on a much tighter leash with the fear that he’d be sent back to announcing backwood Canadian pro wrestling shows if he fucked up. Now though, the dude is pushing the limits like someone who’s got enough jobs lined up to not give a shit. This can be good sometimes, such as at K1 Dynamite where he actually ripped into a lot of the stupid stuff going on. But on the whole he’s basically been allowed to devolve into a retarded pun-spewing gimmick announcer, worse than the guys they have running the booth at the WWE.

I’m not the only one who thinks Mauro’s gone off the deep end. Check out what Bill Thompson from Total MMA thinks:

Another big complaint, and one that I share, is the announcing. MMA companies as whole don’t have much to offer in the way of announcers. Bodog for its first couple of seasons had some very good announcing and the WEC has Frank Mir doing a tremendous job in the booth. Outside of those examples MMA is filled with bad announcing, and EXC is possibly the worst of the lot. Mauro Renallo spends the entire broadcast unleashing hyperbolic statement after hyperbolic statement and sounds like a fool while doing so. He never sounds like he knows what he is talking about and that is because he usually doesn’t. Stephen Quadros has taken his “Fight Professor” gimmick as far as it will take him. People don’t buy into his act anymore, because with each passing show he comes across as more and more incompetent. He contradicts himself on a minute by minute basis and does a terrible job of conveying what is taking place in the fight. That leaves us with Bill Goldberg, an announcer so bad that he makes me yearn for the days of Damon Perry in Pride.

And if you don’t believe him, Steve Cofield has taken the time to write out some of the dumber shit Renallo spouted off during the broadcast. And he actually missed quite a few of the most groan-worthy:

  • “Kimbo is ready to prove he belongs among the elite. Miami is a land of hopes realized, where dreams come true.”
  • “Tank Abbott is more public enemy than Flavor Flav.”
  • “Tank is looking to rain on Kimbo Slice’s Sunshine State parade.”
  • “The Bank United Center is shaking down to its foundation. This is the type of tension you can’t cut with a knife. You need a blowtorch. It is absolutely volcanic.”
  • “Kimbo calls himself a bear, a lion-he’s out to prove he has more game than a wildlife preserve.”
  • “There have been many critics of Kimbo Slice coming into mixed martial arts. I think those critics have been silenced by the sea of humanity here.”
  • “Tonight here in Miami, Kimbo Slice proves he’s the big man on campus.”
  • “Kimbo Slice legitimizes himself as a mixed martial artist. Watch out heavyweight division.”

Another week, another podcast! This week is all about Saturday’s $treet Certified show, the Mark Cuban lawsuit, and Mirko CroCop running back to Japan. Expect the standard hatred towards EliteXC’s DJ and announcers, plus a little extra for Scott Smith.

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With Ryan stuck in Burlington (probably because whoever booked his ticket back from Chicago was a Grade-A moron), posting is going to suffer momentarily. Luckily, I’m still alive and kicking, and I spent my weekend carefully putting together a new comic for you. If you’re new to this whole “Fightlinker has a weekly comic thing”, then you need to get with the fucking program, bitch!

I really wish I could dish more about this than I can at the moment but I’m in an airport stuck listening to the world’s loudest bitch argue on a cellphone with the garage that’s detailing her car. I’d move, but we’re both using the only fucking power plug in the god forsaken airport. This conversation has been going on for the past 45 minutes and her shit is ruining my zen. So rather than write a poorly constructed and generally tame thingy of my own, let me lay out the salient points about the whole ‘Mark Cuban is suing the UFC’ thing.

The testicles of the story from MMA Junkie:

On Wednesday, Cuban and the Texas-based HDNet Fights organization filed suit in district court in Dallas. While the UFC’s lawsuit centers on Couture’s employment contract and its one-year non-compete clause, Cuban wants clarification on the status of Couture under his promotional contract.

“The lawsuit filed by HDNet Fights asks the Texas court to provide the company with declaratory relief — a ruling on when Couture’s promotional contract will expire,” Swift reported for Sherdog.com. “A favorable ruling could clear the way for a highly anticipated showdown between Couture and Fedor Emelianenko this fall, potentially promoted by HDNet Fights.”

And the most interesting theory which sounds good at first glance and could change the fight game for good:

Cuban has spoken recently about Zuffa’s contracts and their possible non-compliance with the Muhammad Ali Boxing Reform Act. Could this also be a tactic that HDNet Fights uses in it’s seeking of declaratory relief? Inclusion of MMA under the act and it’s provisions against multi-fight, long term contracts between Fighter and Promoter would greatly affect the value of Zuffa’s UFC. Zuffa’s number one asset is it’s exclusive contracts with it’s some 250 fighters. I’m not sure if HDNet Fights/Cuban would be able to launch a legal motion to have UFC covered by the Ali Act or if that is something Couture would have to sue Zuffa over. As Zuffa steps up it’s legal wranglings against Couture, one has to believe that either Cuban or Couture will seek to use the Ali act in the legal warfare that is ensuing.

I’ll hopefully find a less annoying place to nest later on and I can give you my own thoughts on the subject. But in short, this is all pretty troubling news. I’m starting to wonder if everyone fucking with the UFC isn’t akin to the villagers killing the golden goose. Sure, the goose is a prick. But it still lays golden fucking eggs.

For those of you who are saying “Wah wah, the Rich Bergeron interview is too long, I can’t pay attention to anything longer than 20 minutes that doesn’t have nipples attached”, I say you really really should go take a listen! Not just because it’s interesting and 6 months from now when the story blows up you’ll feel really smart for being in the know, but because of the hardships I endured recording this for you.

As you know, I like to losen up for radio shows by downing several beers and energy drinks. I call it my ‘upper downer mixer’ … it’s fucktastic. Unfortunately halfway through the interview I had to piss – like cold chills and shaking legs piss. I didn’t want to interrupt Rich … we were right in the middle of some really good stuff. I’d quantify it as ‘Radio Magic’, even. So rather than stop the interview I peed in the top of a cd spindle. For you guys.

So go check out the interview. Make my pee shame worth it.

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