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Well, what a surprise. Randy Couture held a smoker at his XTreme Couture gym and no one was arrested. Sure, this was submission grappling and not striking, and Las Vegas instead of Florida. But I’d rather make the assumption that it was because Din was black that he got thrown in the clink while alleged caucasian Randy Couture got to relax as Shawn Tompkins and Dean Lister rubbed down his corns and bunyans during the show.

I like Mark Kerr as a person, but seriously … what the fuck is he doing fighting anymore? Watching him fight is like watching Ric Flair limp around the wrestling ring with his orange skin and floppy cock bulging out of his tights. In other words, it’s kinda depressing. And gross. Not arousing at all. No no no. Bad thoughts go away. 2 girls 1 cup! 2 girls 1 cup!

In fact, the entire event Mark is fighting at is pretty depressing. It features Tiki (no wins since 2004), Warpath (punching bag of the stars), and Carmello Marrero (who layed n prayed his way out of the UFC). I seriously hope there’s some kind of psychiatrist’s convention across the street where these guys are gonna go after to try and get their collective heads out of their asses. Overall they’ve all got interesting gimmicks and it would be great if they stopped sucking.

Well, it’s official: UFC80 is happening in Newcastle England on January 19th. Headlining fights are BJ vs Joe for the bullshit interim lightweight title and Werdum vs Gonzaga, which should be pretty good unless both fighters hide in their respective corners afraid that a loss will send them packing from the UFC.

Other interesting bouts include Sam Stout vs some Swedish guy named Per, and Marcus Davis vs Jess Liaudin. These two bouts should be slugfests, and I’m glad to see the UK getting another UFC75-quality card rather than the shit they got in Ireland. Big question now of course is whether SpikeTV is gonna show this or not. Fingers crossed!

Here’s the card so far, and I’m very glad the UFC has gotten off it’s ass and started booking the 2008 shows up.

-B.J. Penn vs. Joe Stevenson (UFC LW Interim Title)
-Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Fabricio Werdum
-Kendall Grove vs. Jorge Rivera
-Sam Stout vs. Per Eklund
-Marcus Davis vs. Jeff Liaudin
-Antoni Hardonk vs. Colin Robinson

**Update** According to the studious individuals at MMAJunkie, there will also be a battle of the Pauls in the form of “Paul Taylor (8-2-1 MMA, 1-1 UFC) and Paul Kelly (6-0 MMA, 0-0 UFC)”

This is perhaps the most important petition ever started on the internet.

We want Keith Jardine to perform TechnoViking as his entrace to the octagon. We agree, that if he does this, it would:

a) Raise his stock 5000% b) Make all girls want to marry him 500 times c) Make all men feel insecure in his presence d) Make the name “Jardine” a holy name, which thou shalt not take in vain, lest the Dean smite thee e) Make Goldy wonder what’s going on f) Make his opponent intimidated, by sheer awe of his entrance

For those of you who didn’t know, the above video is the ‘Techno Viking’ video in all it’s glory. I would die with glee if Jardine ever had the sense of humor to come into a fight a la Techno Viking. Oh, and don’t worry … this video is no ‘2 girls 1 cup’.

Today is ‘shit on fighters’ day, apparently. This post’s victim is EliteXC welterweight (or whatever his stupid weight is) contender KJ Noons. I’m not a big fan of Noons’ … he’s had some success in boxing and kickboxing but his only significant win so far in MMA was against Edson Berto, who is respectable but nowhere near top quality MMA.

Gary Shaw has been working his ass off trying to build Noons up as a star in a similar fashion to Gina Carano. Except now I guess Gary’s decided to throw Noons into the deep end against Nick Diaz to see what happens. I don’t know exactly what Noons has done to earn this fight / title shot … once again, I think this shows a lack of depth in EliteXC’s roster.

I don’t really mind that much because I’ll enjoy watching Nick punk this bitch. But I do feel bad for Diaz. To come off a win against one of the top lightweights in the world and now be stuck fighting scrubs must be pretty damned frustrating. Not only does Nick not get any props for beating these guys, he’s putting his rep on the line every time he steps into the cage to fight. If he gets caught and knocked out by one of these upstart challengers, that would do hella damage to his rep. These fights are all risk and no gain for him.

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