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If it’s true that behind Chuck Norris’ beard is another fist, then behind Luke Thomas’ ratty goat there is an even grouchier Luke Thomas who likes to stick it to The Man. Check out Luke’s latest tirade against Chuck’s World Combat League:

I cannot tell you how sorry the WCL is, not only for being outright adversarial with the UFC but for also putting on a very sub-par product.

What’s interesting is that a representative from the WCL contacted me and asked that I pass on info to you – the readers of the site – about upcoming WCL events. Yet, directly in the press release they gave me was more of their anti-MMA talking points, most notably, “Knock outs, not tap outs.” Just as I told that rep then I will tell you now: I will never – NEVER – support Chuck Norris or the WCL until this “us vs. them” positioning is gone. Period.

What makes this worse is that Norris is a black belt in BJJ under the Machado brothers. For him to insult their contribution by adopting the redneck view that ground action is boring should be enough to hang his head in shame, to say nothing of his Mike Huckabee endorsement (evolution anyone?).

So please, if anyone from the WCL is reading this, do yourselves a favor and do not contact me. If you do, I will not only ignore all of your requests to help your league, I will openly encourage this site’s readers to boycott anything and everything to do with the WCL.

I’m glad Luke is writing shit like this because I was getting tired of having to be the holier-than-thou blogger guy. I’m much happier being the glue sniffing blogger who likes the sniff glue. The more glue I sniff, the better the World Combat League gets. I dunno about Mike Huckabee though. I think I’d have to make some kind of hardcore turpentine / gasoline cocktail to get that dumb.

 

Just to give you guys a quick update on our efforts to get April 2nd’s UFC Fight Night extended to three hours:

  • Numerous threads have been created on the Underground forum resulting in hundreds of people pledging to send emails.
  • Sherdog.net has stickied a thread which has already hit 24 pages long over the past few days. I know we typically hate these guys on principle alone but I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth (whatever that means).
  • I have been in touch with Brian Diamond, who’s in charge of making these kinds of decisions. Spike is VERY aware of our campaign to have the show extended to 3 hours and will be making a decision SOON!

So it’s the home stretch, people. If you’ve already emailed Spike, it’s time to send them the email again. If you’ve got more than one email address, send them a letter from each one. I am in the middle of putting together a press release to try and drum up some more support. If you’re a member of MMA forums, cut and paste this into a thread.

The signs are pointing to Spike showing 3 hours. But it’s not a lock yet by any means. Let’s keep the pressure up!

Here’s a cut and paste letter (it’s a boring polite one, you can get witty ones in the original post):

TO: feedback@spike.com
SUBJECT: UFC Fight Night on April 2nd
Hi
I’m writing to ask that the UFC Fight Night on April 2nd be given three hours of time instead of two. The card is one of the best UFC cards ever put on Spike, and it deserves a longer timeslot. The entire fight community is looking forward to seeing this event, and I am sure you’ll have a significantly higher number of viewers if you decide to show more of the card.

Thank you for your time
INSERT NAME HERE

Have you ever dreamed of being a ref? Think your carefully thought out “Let’s fight this thing!” saying can be the next “Let’s get it on”? Got some moves that put Cecil People’s chicken chop dance to shame? Then you should go check out MMAReferee.com, where the skinny wrinkled remains of Big John McCarthy will teach you everything you need to know to make your dream a reality.

There’s not a whole bunch of information available at the moment … basically it looks like you pay $500 and then Big John flunks 75% of the class. If you’re one of the lucky 25% left over you get to pay another $500 bucks to learn how to stay the fuck out of the fighters’ way and when to end the fight. Hint: it’s before one fighter rips the spinal cord out of his opponent’s back Mortal Kombat style. Mario Yamasaki, please take note.

The school also apparently teaches people how to judge, so lets hope everyone judging the UFC gets turfed back for a refresher course in not being a blind asshole.

Oh Mirko. I don’t know whether to be angry or happy with you at the moment. Ya see, CroCop has officially left the UFC to go fight in Japan. And while I’ll prefer whatever the Japanese set up over the Mirko vs McCully fight that was probably being readied, I still cry Pride fanboy tears that my Croatian man-crush has basically been run out of the UFC.

Details on how Mirko managed to get out of his UFC contract halfway through are still kinda sketchy, although I have a few ideas on how it went down:

  • Mirko answered he these riddles three
  • In addition to amazing high kicks, Mirko can also pull off some pretty damned convincing blowjobs
  • Croatian law clearly states “CroCop gets to do whatever the fuck he wants to.”

Of course there’s also word that Dana White released Mirko from his contract and Mirko intends on coming back to the UFC down the road. That certainly seems like a pretty unlikely scenario, but I’ve also come up with a few ideas on why this would work:

  • Dana had Mirko injected with crazy bubonic plague monkey aids just before he got on a plane to Japan
  • The UFC can’t afford Mirko because they spent all their heavyweight money on Tim Sylvia and Brock Lesnar
  • Dana is a moron who doesn’t think Mirko is worth paying

Of course, other people are constructing elaborate fantasies where Dana is sending Mirko abroad to hunt down and defeat Fedor, which will magically repair the rift between the UFC and Randy Couture. And while it sure is fun to think that Dana White is capable of such elaborate plotting, it’s a lot more likely that he just thinks CroCop is a washed up loser who can take a flying fuck through a jelly donut.

(apparently someone forgot to tell Mr Orange that ‘formal wear’ doesn’t include gay arctic rave gear)

Ever since New Years Eve there’s been rumors flying all over the place about what was going to happen to Zombie Pride. Was Yarrenoka really a goodbye show or just the first of many events? One idea that’s been passed around more than Edith Larente at a frat party was that FEG (who run K1 and HERO’s) would partner up with Zombie Pride to create a new event. And lo and behold, that is what just went down yesterday in Japan. Behold! Zombie Pride becomes DREAMS. HERO’s is dead. Long live DREAMS!

Now being a selfish MMA fan who doesn’t really give a shit about the politics of the sport, you’re probably wondering “What’s this mean for me?” Well for starters, it means way more awesome events. Check out the freaking schedule they announced:

Dream .1 – March 15 – Saitama Superarena – Lightweight GP Round 1
Dream .2 – April 29 – Saitama Superarena – Middleweight GP Round 1
Dream .3 – May 11 – Saitama Superarena – Lightweight GP Round 2
Dream .4 – Begining of June – Korea or Yokohama Arena – Middleweight GP Round 2
Dream .5 – July 21 – Osaka Jo-Hall – Lightweight GP Finals
Dream .6 – Begining of Sept. – Saitama Superarena- Middleweight GP Finals

Also, right off the bat they’re holding tournaments to crown lightweight and middleweight champs, something HERO’s never bothered to get around to for some stupid reason. Fingers crossed that the bookings also start to make more sense … HERO’s sure did set up a lot of fucking stupid matches, even compared to other Japanese promotions.

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