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Every day I get email from people saying “Fightlinker, you’re lucky you’re just a punk ass keyboard warrior or I’d kick your ass in the ring!” Little do they know that I’m just as totally wicked inside the ring as I am on the internet. And now it is time to prove my manliness by stepping up and challenging someone. But who to challenge???

After some consideration, I’ve decided it’s time to kick “Five Ounces of Pain” ringleader Sam Caplan‘s ass. After a few emails where I assume he though I was joking, I called him out on his own website and now we’re both in agreement: It’s time to get into a ring or cage and settle this shit like cavemen.

Details right now are sketchy as we look for a legitimate avenue to smash eachother’s skulls in, but rest assured that this fight will generate a media frenzy the likes of which has never been seen before in the blogosphere. I know we’ve had World of Warcraft players shoot eachother, and chatroom suicides … but have we ever had an MMA match to determine blog supremacy? That’s way less depressing than those other things!

My fellow Fightlinkers, I promise I will not dishonor you by losing to someone from a tame site like “Five Ounces of Pain”. By the time I’m done with him, Sam Caplan will look worse than his ProElite page. This I swear by Odin’s beard!

More proof that Randy Couture is nothing more than a shameless bastard who will go to any length to sway public opinion his way. He recently put up a series of photos on his blog containing the most cutest puppies in the universe. Click more for the full cuteness explosion, but be careful … it may cause your heart to grow and tears to glisten in your eyes:

There’s a new addition to the Couture family. A Red Sesame female Shiba Inu named Miso.

Kim flew Miso in from North Dakota yesterday and surprised Randy with an early Christmas gift. Miso will join Saki a male Shiba Inu in the Couture household. Saki is a year and a half old and was a present from Randy to Kim.

They’re both using the same nutritionist, Ashley Borden:

Ashley Borden is a fitness and lifestyle consultant to some of Hollywood’s most recognizable faces and world class athletes. Her unique approach to fitness can be attributed to having tackled her own personal struggles, transforming them into a positive philosophy and dynamic training program – making her one of the most sought-after experts in her field.   Clients have included: Christina Aguilera, Chaka Khan, Mandy Moore, Sean Hayes, Tori Spelling, Poppy Montgomery, Sydney Poitier, Lauren Graham.

Of course, if you want to find out more about her, you can cruise over to her myspace account where it’s revealed she believes in ‘The Secret‘ (not cool), phreaks for Burning Man (very cool), and is in love with her boyfriend Cool Breeze Steeves (how sweet).

Best of all, she’s fucking smoking, and I hope she’s in Matt’s corner at UFC79 if not for any other reason than to suggest Hughes eats a banana after getting his ass kicked to get his potassium levels back up. I’d also like to add a joke about offering her something of mine with certain nutrients but I can’t seem to find what semen is full of so I’ll just have to pass this time.

By now you all realize that the Gods of Awesomeness have struck down Matt Serra so that GSP can challenge Matt Hughes on New Years eve. Serra described the injury for the boys at MMAWeekly:

“My students had to help me up and I got through the shower pretty painfully. My brother had to get my socks and shoes on and then they took me home. Then, the next day, I went to the hospital, got an MRI. I’ve got two herniated discs in my lower back.”

Matt Hughes has been very classy about the switch-up, turning the conference call regarding the new matchup into the “Why Matt Serra is a wuss” show, complete with this stab on his homepage:

Before my Royce fight, I had three bulged discs that I was able to repair enough to fight. As everybody knows you never go into a fight 100%. So, I’m just going to continue to train until I find out what’s next.

Of course, If I was Hughes, I’d be pissed too: he just went from *giving* a guaranteed ass-whippin to *getting* a guaranteed ass-whuppin. Although props to Matt for agreeing to this. Or maybe I should be saying props to Jesus Christ for tricking Matt into thinking he’s going to win so he would agree to this. Yeah … that sounds more accurate.

Sorry for the lack of posts today … I seem to have a strange case of out-itis, which is when you feel perfectly fine other than the sudden urge to poo or puke. Anyways, while the blogging may have slowed down, the show must go on! I’ll be appearing on Luke Thomas’s Any Given Saturday show tonight (Any Given Tuesday?), which will be live at 9:30 and takes your calls!

So if you didn’t get your fill of my jibba-jabba with today’s Low Blow, tune in and enjoy! We’ll be discussing the whole Guida/Huerta fight and of course the Kid Nate bet!

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