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As mentioned before, I was out drinking on Saturday but I did manage to set my VCR properly to tape the IFL semi-finals. All in all, it wasn’t too shabby but it could have been better. Here’s a breakdown of my random thoughts on the show:

Kenny Rice is a wanker. I don’t know why every promotion thinks they need a smarmy announcer with ‘the voice’. Fuck ‘the voice’. I know I don’t get invited on nobody’s stupid MMA podcasts because I sound like a 14 year old boy going through a painful puberty. Plus I tend to say ‘cock’ too much. But I’m more entertaining than most other people out there. And most announcers out there are way better than Kenny despite not having ‘the voice’. Fuck ‘the voice’.

The show’s production values reminded me of an episode of American Gladiators. Overall they did a good job of stuffing two fights into one hour … I was thinking since they both went to a decision they might not catch the decision for the second bout. The graphics looked 80’s and I have no idea why they thought it was a good idea to try and squeeze the IFL logo into that tiny rectangle ticker up at the top. And why the fuck was it up top???? Tickers go downstairs, dummies.

They did a terrible job of pointing out that this was a live show. Past Kenny Rice saying “Live from Chicago” after every commercial break, there was nary a sign that this was a live show. If I was running this shit, the word ‘LIVE!!!’ would have been on the screen for the entire show, blinking and changing colors and occasionally inducing epileptic fits.

Palaszewski vs. Horodecki : I’m sure the IFL was wishing for a Bonnar-Griffin style match and this came inches from becoming that kind of bout. The first round went to Horodecki and then Palaszewski came back and pounded on Horodecki in the second. The third is where this fight failed to deliver, as both fighters seemed to have blown their loads. Palaszewski was pissed he didn’t win the decision, but he didn’t do anything to earn it in the third. Overall it was a great match but the last round was a letdown.

Schoenauer vs Matyushenko : Someone get Schoenauer some fucking sprawl lessons. Like most wresters do, Matyushenko reverted to his bread and butter the second Schoenauer started to get the best of him on the feet. A good corner could have destroyed Matyushenko’s tactics easily, but there was no change between rounds two and three. Schoenauer gave this bout away, with Matyushenko lay n’ praying to a win. The last two minutes were practically painful to watch as Matyushenko killed the time pushing Schoenauer into the ropes and holding him.

Overall, I give the night a tentative thumbs up. If the IFL does more live shows, I’ll watch them. But please for God’s sake – do two hours next time!

We’re recording the new show tonight so get your questions in by 6pm EST if you want them answered. Mailbag only happens once a month so don’t miss out!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!

While I’m not a huge fan of most of the non-Luke Thomas writers on Bloody Elbow (I only consider you-a scum compared to Lukey! See how you scum!), Michael Rome hits the nail on the head … or rather he hits the nail on the side:

Much of 2007 was characterized by overly long waits. Tito Ortiz and BJ Penn fought once in 2007, while St. Pierre, Hughes, Parysian, Griffin, and Couture fought twice. Much of the reason for the lack of fights is this supposed long term build that never really pays off. Penn was held off of cards to wait for Sean Sherk, and now it looks like the delay was for nothing. St. Pierre will have gone 8 months between fights by the time he gets in the Octagon again, all to protect the precious title match in Montreal. These long breaks just kill momentum and excitement for fighters.

Okay, lets ignore factual issues with Mike’s complaint like BJ being on The Ultimate Fighter. The point I agree with is the UFC is wasting it’s time with a lot of it’s biggest names. My biggest gripe is turfing guys so they can wait for a title shot … in other words, the GSP situation. I’ve already said it’s pretty pathetic that he gets another title shot after one win. It’s especially lame considering there’s nothing stopping the UFC from booking him again before he fights for the title.

There’s tons of other special case situations. Shogun Rua was signed in July and didn’t fight till October. Big Nog has been on staff since April and has only fought once. Werdum likewise. It seems like the UFC is getting more and more picky about when and where their big name fighters appear, and regardless of how sweet their plans might be, they never fucking pan out and we’re left waiting forever for dream matches that never materialize.

So please, for the love of fucking God … can you UFC peoples please stop making such elaborate bullshit plans and just let the guys we want to see fight … fight???

With all due respect to the IFL immigrant fight special, the best fight of the weekend wasn’t Palazkewaski/Horodesckivich. Hell, the best fight wasn’t even an MMA fight! This weekend, the best fight was a fucking boxing match … Calzaghe vs Kessler in the UK.

This blows me away too considering the fact that I don’t even like boxing very much. But by the fourth round of this bout I was on my feet shouting at the TV. I came into the bout cheering for Kessler, since he looked like a tiny Ivan Drago from Rocky 4. Calzaghe was a cocky piece of shit, and I wanted him to go down. But round by round he used his brawler style to pick apart Kessler, and by the end of the fight I had a ton of respect for both fighters.

Calzaghe is everything boxing needs … he’s entertaining, shows personality in the ring, and is really talented. If boxing had a dozen guys like this and wasn’t so splintered, maybe they could get their sport back up where it belongs.

As it stands, while I’m still not sold on boxing as a whole, I’m sold on Calzaghe. Apparently the next stop for him is a fight with either the winner of Pavilik/Taylor 2 or Bernard Hopkins. It’s unknown how long it’ll take for that shit to come together, so I guess I may not see Calzaghe fight for 6 months or something. Boo-urns.

This has not been a good year for Kevin Randleman. It was just under 365 days ago that Kevin got busted for using animal or corpse urine for his Pride US fight. Since then, half his organs shut down, he got arrested for a laundry list of offenses, and now to top it off he just had the world’s nastiest case of staph.

Many other sites decided to show the picture of Kevin’s staph, but I’m not going to. God knows half the fighters out there probably have horrific STDs as well, and no one wants to see that shit either. A lot of people are also wondering “Is this the continuation of staph infection’s campaign to take over the world?” No, not likely.

Remember: Kevin Randleman has done so much crazy shit to his body that I’m amazed he’s still alive. I have no doubt he’s going to turn up dead in the next 5 years unless he stops fighting and moves into something less strenuous like accounting or bathroom attendant.

I’m sure I know Kevin’s attitude towards everything he did: “Sure, this might take 5 years off my life, but who cares about those years? 70-85 are bullshit years anyways.” Well, that’s not really how it works. Doing all the drugs and pushing your body that hard definitely shortens your life … but it also destroys the condition of your body so you’re essentially stuck crippled and pooing yourself at 45.

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