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If you’ve ever wondered what being sued for 25 million dollars sounds like, here’s what it sounds like. Rich Bergeron taped the entire court proceeding yesterday regarding Xyience’s lawsuit against him and put it up on his site. I have to admit, it is perhaps the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard.

If you’re going to listen to this, skip forward to about 5 minutes in to where Rich gets his turn to go off on the Xyience lawyer for trying to fuck him over on technicalities. Up until this point, I thought Bergeron was a bit of a weirdo. Actually I still think he’s a bit strange. But his balls in the face of this crazy lawsuit have me firmly on his side.

Now if only he’d let somebody hook him up with a website that didn’t look like Myspace and Geocities had a retarded flipper baby together. I know we’re not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover, but it was the ‘cover’ aka his website that made me think there was no way he could be right about everything. But what can I say? I’ve been burned before.

Fedor Emelianenko has turned his attention away from MMA to once again dominate Russia’s national sport of Sambo. “I am here to destroy, devestate, and decimate,” said Fedor as he arrived at SSK club. “My opponents will not be left standing. Fedor is no one’s bitch.”

Earlier in the year, Fedor swept the European Sambo Championships. Only one opponent was brave enough to face him – Fedor crushed every bone in his body. “Let this be a message to the wives of all who face me: your husbands will be ruined. Only a husk shall remain.”

Day one of the Russian Sambo Championships went the same, with Fedor humiliating his three competitors in under two minutes. Bystanders looked on in horror as Fedor smashed his second opponent’s nose to dust and drank his blood from a gourd fashioned from the skull of some past victim.

At the end of the day, Fedor hung back to intimidate lower weight class fighters and threaten children. “Do you not see that I cannot be stopped? Bow before me, dogs. I am superior to you all.”

When asked why he continues to ravage Sambo tournaments around the world, keeping all glory to himself rather than allow others a chance to win, Fedor answered “All glory belongs to Fedor. All Sambo belongs to Fedor. Someday when I am old and decrepit a new champion may replace me. But he will have to kill me. And Fedor, he does not die so easy, hmm?”

Next stop for Fedor after the Russian Sambo Tournament is the Special Olympics, where he plans to defeat autistic Russian gold medalist Grubo Trevsnotvik. “Grubu, he take away from my Sambo legacy.” says Fedor with a small smile. “No one in Sambo is safe from my wrath. It is absolute!”

(Tim Kennedy stars in a Maxim photoshoot based around Ranger Up gear, who sponsors a bunch of our fellow blogger sites. Some of their stuff is kinda sorta a bit racist, but I guess when you’re stuck serving in the Middle East you’re allowed to hate the people you’re killing.)

Shane Mosley sues over steroid allegations
Shane Mosley is denying he knew that his strength and conditioning coach gave him steroids. “That’s what I’m saying” replies the coach.

Gomi concentrating on a good 2008
2007 was pretty balls for Gomi. His only performance of the year was a drubbing from Nick Diaz. I guess at this point he’s itching to get back into the ring because he says he’s not doing anything but training and ‘reading books’.

Everyone wants a title shot
Jon Fitch thinks a win over some guy earns him a title shot. Keith Jardine also thinks he should be next in line for a shot. Of course, it looks like Jardine is gonna have to get past Wanderlei Silva first. And yeah. We’ll see how that pans out.

Randy Couture speaks lawsuits
Randy drops a few soundbytes on what it feels like to be in the UFC’s legal crosshairs. He seems pretty confident and comfortable, basically passing the UFC’s lawsuit off as an attempt to bully him around.

Mike Pyle is unemployed
It’s still funny to hear from Mike Pyle, who’s currently without a contract and picking up random fights against random people. A few months back he was offered a contract and title fight with EliteXC, but Pyle was too damned good for that shit. Pyle also blames personal issues for his loss to Jake Shields on his way out of EliteXC. If by personal issues you mean “a case of the stupids”, then I agree.

IMG buying out ProElite?
Looks like IMG might be buying a majority stake in ProElite very soon. You could spend about 10 minutes reading into the company or you can trust me when I say this is a serious company with serious cash and serious resources. Seriously. I’ve never really understood what the fuck ProElite was up to … I get the idea of a parent company managing it’s promotions, but ProElite seems to be burning huge piles of money trying to build up it’s community site and shit like that. It’d be interesting to see what IMG does with them.

HDNet teams up with Strikeforce
Seems like a day doesn’t go by without HDNet teaming up with another promotion. I’m down with Strikeforce working with them … this means never having to watch a Yahoo stream of their shows again.


Another Fedor hug, this time with Jean Claude Van Damme. This isn’t the first hug these two have shared, and while I’m not against guys hugging (actually I like to consider myself very pro-hugs), the look Jean Claude gets when he latches onto Fedor is just … something else.

By the way, the MMA Ninja (sweet) has an interesting article of why B-grade actors like Jean Claude are revered by guys like Fedor. That’s where I got this pic.

When the UFC decided to slide their best friend Chris Lytle another undeserved bonus for KO of the Night, they basically screwed Tim Boetsch, who knocked his opponent out with a vicious display of redneck judo. There’s a silver lining in this cloud though, as Boetsch said he did receive some extra greenbacks for his assault:

Boetsch said his fight was considered for both the KO of the Night, as well as Fight of the Night honors, either of which would have brought him and additional $60,000 in pay.

“That would have definitely been the icing on the cake, for sure, but I was just glad to get in there, handle my business and come out of there with the win,” Boetsch said.

Boetsch, though, did indicate he got additional pay on top of his normal salary, confirming the UFC “takes care of you if you put on an exciting fight.”

I just don’t get the UFC. They don’t like talking about money, yet they’re forced by the Athletic Commissions to reveal salary details. So they release pittance pay to the government which makes us fans think they’re fucking assholes screwing over the fighters. How does this seem like a good idea???

All this backroom wheeling and dealing just makes everyone much more suspicious that there’s a screwjob going down. A lot of other sites have called for more transparency in the UFC’s dealings and I don’t disagree. This hush-hush shit simply causes more problems than it solves. If the UFC is treating it’s fighters fairly in pay, they should be willing to put the numbers out there. The current situation just creates mistrust towards the organization with the fans AND the fighters.

Of course since the UFC is probably using secret pay to create a smokescreen where they hold all the cards in salary negotiations, I don’t see changes happening any time soon. But don’t worry. Everyone’s ‘being taken care of.’

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