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If you thought Dave Meltzer’s article detailing the fucked up Japanese scene was good, wait to you check out Zach Arnold’s novella on the subject. I’ve given up on giving a shit about anything that happens in the Japanese MMA scene … caring about the sketchy stuff they do would be like getting up in arms every time something in Iraq explodes. At this point it’s just way too old hat and I just preface any article about Japan as “These guys are just fucking insane”.

Big news of the morning is that Floyd Mayweather has been talking to Mark Cuban about getting into MMA. And by talking about it, I mean he is announcing it to the press and Mark Cuban is trying to turn it into a big platform to promote HDNet fights. Look, we all know that Mayweather getting into MMA has to be the dumbest thing we’ve ever heard. The guy’s got glass hands using boxing gloves, so just think about what would happen after one punch using MMA gloves. A single takedown would probably result in his shoulders and back disintegrating into a pile of dust.

So why the hell is he talking about this? Press. Mark Cuban gets press for HDNet fights, and Mayweather comes across to the average yokel as being willing to prove himself in MMA if only the money were ‘good enough’. Oh if only. People who are picking up on this story like there’s any kind of possibility or truth to it are morons, and they’ve swallowed the fake promotion hook, line, and sinker.

Continuing the tradition of totally awesome and sincere Jesus-related t-shirts, here’s a “Jesus Didn’t Tap” t-shirt from the fine folks at No Submit.

Wal-Mart in America is pretty much the most bestest thing ever. They have fucking everything! Gigantic Shrimp ring for twelve bucks? Check. Steven Seagal’s Cherry Blast energy drink? Check. Totally serious ‘Jesus Patrol’ t-shirts? Check. Fight magazines? Check check and check. Fucking awesome. Over the next few days I’m gonna go through these magazines on the toilet and write reviews for them. In fact, I think it’s just about time to start reviewing one riiiiight now…

Michael Rome (my blogger man-crush) is finally starting to turn me on … to the idea that the UFC is being stupid in refusing to work with M1 to make Randy/Fedor happen. By now you all know that M1 offered to do a co-promotion with the UFC but the UFC turned it down. Rome says that the downside of M1 doing this on their own is worth the UFC swallowing their pride and playing along:

Imagine this:   10 minutes into Sportscenter, the anchor interviews former UFC champion Randy Couture, who has succeeded in court against the UFC, and has now signed a 4 fight contract with a new startup organization.   He will fight Fedor Emelianenko, who many consider the best fighter in the world.   Randy goes on to put over the new group, and it is all over the news.

This is the only event that can really hurt the UFC at this point.   A co-promoted UFC show where M-1 is mentioned in the main event, Fedor is announced as a M-1 fighter, etc, really will do nothing for a company with no TV.   The only thing that can get them a meaningful deal is a contract with a big star like Randy Couture.

Of course, once I shake away the rose-tinted visions Michael weaves in my brain, I remember that there’s no way in fucking hell the UFC is going to let Randy Couture leave without giving them their two fights. If you ask me, it’s gonna be a Merchant of Venice-type situation, except instead of Jews getting fucked over it’ll be M1. The UFC will wait until things are announced, and then they’ll launch their court attack and totally fuck M1 over. Sure, they’ll look like massive cocks, but what’s worse … nice guys who lose Randy, or massive godzilla-like cocks who crush all competition?

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