Here’s a couple quick shots of the action after the jump

I don’t remember pointing and laughing at Kenny Florian, but I guess I did.

Nonetheless, he was kind enough to sign my elbow.

Ryan get drunk on Mickey’s. Ryan drunk

This is our sell out shot. Wearing a Mickey’s hat and an Army shirt. Give us free shit and we will shill.

Jake and Kris from UFCDaily proving that glasses add 30 IQ points.

So we roll into Cincinnati around 2pm and hop a cab to our hotel out by the airport. Our driver is this old black guy named Palmer, and he’s entertaining as hell. He tells us all about the city and what to watch out for, stories about crazy crackheads and his time in Viet Nam. He gives us his cell number and he’s now officially the Fightlinker taxi for the rest of the weekend.

After a quick shower and change of clothes (we were both stewing in our own grossness by the end), we rand right back out the door to the weigh ins. We called Iggy from MMAJunkie and Kris from UFCDaily. Iggy was still running around doing whatever the fuck Iggy does, but Kris was already at the weigh ins and had stolen some pretty good seats down near the stage. The way it’s supposed to work is you get tickets with seat numbers printed on them, but we all decided to fuck that shit and sit up with Kris and his girlfriend.

The weigh ins were pretty quick and unremarkable. The only guy who didn’t make weight the first time was Josh Burkman, who stripped naked (I was the retard screaming “Stop staring at his cock, Dana”) and still couldn’t get the last .5 off before hitting the sauna again.

Tim Sylvia looked especially agile hopping around the stage trying to get his socks and pants off. Stephan Bonnar pretended to pee in a cup and gave it to Dana White … I guess that’s what fighters who have been nailed for steroids have to do nowadays.

That was about it for interesting weigh in shit. We saw a number of people floating around … Frank Trigg, Wanderlei Silva, and the Tapout dudes. Ten minutes after the weigh ins were over, we met up with Iggy and we all headed down to a pub to get fucking drunk with the Mickey’s crew.

Let me tell you what, boy did we get smashed. They were serving up these big ass cans of Mickey’s and after two hours I was onto can number 5. With nothing in my belly but a pulled pork sandwich (pulled pork is the most awesome invention EVER), I was fucking hammered and am impressed that I didn’t start a fight or cause any major problems.

Over the course of the afternoon several fighters dropped into the bar … Kenny Florian, Stephan Bonnar, and Keith Jardine. Kenny was the nicest of the bunch, and he hung out the longest signing everything we gave him, he even signed my elbow! We asked him about the ‘finishing move’ name and suggested the Cut’n’Fuck. I guess we’ll see if he picks it up.

Keith Jardine was pretty hedgy … he was there with his dad and some hot chick who I assume is his girlfriend or something. I snuck around taking video of them all but when I got back to my seat I realized I was a drunken moron and forgot to start recording. So you don’t get to see what Jardine’s dad looks like. Let’s just say he’s a cross between Gary Busey and his son. Huge guy.

Anyways, Keith hid in the corner of the patio for an hour and then left. I was waiting for the line to disappear so I wouldn’t have to wait around, but when I ran up they were like “Sorry, no more people”. Fucking damn it. So while they weren’t looking, I stole Keith’s chicken strips.

Past that, shenanigans with the MMAJunkie and Mickeys guys. Kris and his GF were too young to drink (kids!) so they basically got to watch us make fools of ourselves until like 10 pm when some crappy band drove us out of the pub. After that we all wandered around town looking for food. We ate some shitty cardboard pizza, and then a few White Castle sliders (I can now cross “Eat at White Castle” off the list of things to do before I die).

The Mickeys guys all called it a night but the Fightlinker and MMAJunkie guys are more hardcore than that … we stocked up on booze and smokes and hung out at George’s place until 3am. That pretty much wrapped up the evening … Jake and I woke up at the hotel without really remembering how we got back there. And now it’s fight night and it’s time to really fuck around.

On a side note I’d just like to say that considering the amount of Mickey’s we both drank last night, we’re amazed that we’re not half dead today. But so far, we feel great. Of course, I may still be drunk. I’m not quite sure yet.

Following up on yesterday’s post that something fishy was going on, Jason Mayhem Miller is now officially a free agent. I would like to think he’s gonna sign on with ProElite pretty quickly, but considering Team Quest is doing the negotiations, I’d be prepared for a long and painful wait like with Sokoudjou.

Seems to me like the WEC is considered to be Zuffa’s #2 promotion at the moment, and I don’t doubt Mayhem left because he didn’t want to spend his prime years fighting to be the #1 fighter in a #2 league. It’ll be interesting to see if anyone can manage to get a straight answer out of him on the issue.

Of course, it blows my mind that the UFC is letting skilled and marketable middleweight fighters walk considering the state of the UFC MW division. But hey, what do I know about anything???

I just got an email from the UFC saying UFC 79 was going to be ‘the biggest card of the year’. This is an interesting statement to make, and there are two interpretations:

1. This is the biggest card of the past 365 days. I suppose they could pull this off if they really kept BJ Penn and Chuck vs Wanderlei on the card, but there are all sorts of signs pointing to the idea that they aren’t. Even if they keep Penn on the card, if Sherk isn’t cleared (and he’s got a juicer’s chance in California of that) it’ll still be a pretty weak card.

But let’s be specific: which card had the most umph to it the past year? I’m not talking about post-event coitus where we all said “Wow that Ultimate Fight Night ruled”. We’re talking about the biggest, most star-studdiest card of the year so far. UFC 68? UFC 73? Looking back, there hasn’t been many retardo cards. I vaguely seem to remember being pumped for events this year, but looking back I can’t seem to remember why. I guess when you know the results it’s hard to recapture the element of suspense which elevates a good card to being great.

2. This is going to be the biggest card for the next 365 days. If this is the case, then just shoot me in the fucking head now.

Friday October 19th, Noon

Aloha from sunny central west Ohio. We are now on hour 18 of our 20 hour journey from Montreal to Cincinnati to see UFC 77, and thus far the trip has been pretty painful. We knew going into this that the bus was welfare, but we didn’t realize how lame and stupid the majority of the people who rode it were.

Montreal -> Toronto trip highlights:
Some homeless guy brewing a sweat stew under his poncho sleeping in front of us. About three hours into the trip he took off his ‘shoes’ and put his feet up on the window sill. Delightful.

The dumbest old bitch in the world who was sitting in the front seet holding up the bus at every stop. Every time we’d roll into a station, she’d get up and rummage through her 15 shopping bags, keeping anyone from being able to get on or off the bus.

As a result of these two morons (security got on the bus at one point to hassle the homeless guy – thank God transients are treated like shit), we came within 10 minutes of missing our 1AM connecting bus to Detroit. This would have been kinda horrific as we would have then been stuck overnight in the Toronto bus station. So the last two hours of this trip was spent wishing AIDS on the people who were slowing us down and contemplating which corner of the bus station would be safest to sleep in.

Fortunately we made it with 5 minutes to spare, and even a last second issue with our tickets (“You can’t use Greyhound Canada tickets on a Greyhound US bus! Go get them reprinted”), we made it on the bus.

Toronto -> Detroit
We were the only white people on this bus. This was the easiest 6 hours of the trip because I managed to sleep through most of it. But every time we’d stop at a station, the people getting off would manage to hit me in the face with their bags or elbows. One girl practically hip checked me with her fat ass. I love how everyone is so considerate.

Detroit -> Ohio
We asked a taxi driver at the Detroit bus station where to go for breakfast and he gave us directions to a Burger King in the ghetto. I stopped counting the mini-bottles of liquor strewn across the sidewalk after a while … it looked like a mini-bar service truck had exploded or something. Fortunately for us, gang bangers aren’t up at 7am on a Friday morning (surprising since the word METH was spray painted on so many buildings we walked past) so we managed to get back to the bus station with no problems.

We slept most of the way to the first rest stop, where we got an opportunity to buy some steamy beefy taco melts from Taco Bell. If you didn’t know, Taco Bell is banned in Quebec because of the quality of thier meats. I’ve wanted to try one of those taco melts since we were bainwashed by the ads during The Ultimate Fighter season premiere, and it didn’t dissapoint. At this point, Burger King + Taco Bell is starting to make my stomach feel queasy. The solution? A 500 calorie Payday bar and a Rockstar energy drink.

We just rolled out of Lima, Ohio, which has to be the most depressing town in the state. Half the buildings are boarded up, but apparently that doesn’t mean they’re condemned because there are people sitting out on the front patios of these places. The whole fucking town could use a coat of paint … it looks like there was a ban on fixing broken windows or repairing structural damage for the past 15 years.

More coming up!

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