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Jay Larkin and Kurt Otto must jumping around squealing like little girls at the moment, because it looks like Randy Couture is stepping in to help the IFL out. XTreme Couture will be representin’ at the IFL 2008 season opener on Feb 29th. Which means once again, I’m gonna be suckered into watching the IFL.

As of now, the show includes XTreme Couture, Team Quest, the Lion’s Den, and a fourth team to be announced. I bet the IFL is working hard at locking up Greg Jackson or Team Punishment to round out their event. Last and pretty much least, Matt Horwich (awesome sandwich name, terrible last name) will be defending his middleweight title against someone, hopefully a ringer from outside the organization and not some scrub with a 4-2 record in the IFL.

I have to admit, for all the shit I talk about the IFL, I’m actually kinda excited to see how they smarten up for 2008. But mark my words … if they keep those gay ass team logos and theme songs, I am turning the shit off and never watching again. Anacondas and Silverbacks my ass.

Early in the wee hours of Monday morning ‘America Time’, a certain individual by the name of Misaki was busy soccer kicking the shit out of another guy by the name of Akiyama. Of course, soccer kicks to an opponent in the ‘four point position’ (aka forward facing doggy style) are illegal! But who cares about that? Akiyama ‘got away‘ with cheating against Sakuraba! Poor Sak kept slipping off Akiyama’s legs and took a beating from his greased up opponent.

It almost hits the level of poetic justice that Akiyama got finished by a potentially illegal blow, especially considering that during his entrance they repeatedly shows a bottle of Oil of Olay with it’s contents slowly and erotically being squeezed out.

Of course, any good controversy wouldn’t be complete without a big question mark surrounding the actual legality of the strike. General understanding of the four point position is it is ‘hands and knees’. But there’s talk that four point can also apply to ‘hands and feet’ … after all, the technical definition of four ‘points’ being on the ground means four things, so you can’t really argue that.

I’m sure there must be amateur wrestlers on this site that can tell us what the wrestling dictionary definition of ‘four point’ is, but who knows if that’s the same in Japan. After all, in America, a ‘happy ending’ would have been all the humans in the Transformers movie dying a slow and painful death followed by an hour of awesome robot on robot action. But in Japan, ‘happy ending’ just lands you in a small cell for a few days and disgusted looks from the prison guards.

Here’s the translated rules direct from the Yarennoka page, not that it will do much good here:

â–  four-point position and “Inoki- Ali state” in the leg by a hammer about Canada craniofacial called for the foul and trample SAKKABORUKIKKU. However, craniofacial fouls to the knee in the attack.
However, Choi Hong-Man vs Fedor Emelianenko game only, craniofacial SAKKABORUKIKKU to trample, in addition to the knee craniofacial fouls and also attack.

this rule, the putative Situation

HIZA kicked four points from the position <br /> in the ground state, one’s hands and feet, and other body parts to the mat with four points in the state, the so-called “four-point position” against a state to recognize HIZA Kick.
Inoki- Ali states” from the head than to kick so-called “Inoki – Ali states” from craniofacial than to acknowledge Kick trample.
side from the position of craniofacial HIZA Kick <br /> HIZA kick from the side position to admit. However, the player’s position is up on the stand to face HIZA down from the position of prohibited acts.

4 × position “猪木- Ali states” from the craniofacial SAKKABORUKIKKU, trample <br /> players standing position by the state of the ground state position player to trample the facial kick to the head prohibited.

Matt Hamill got screwed in London, and not the way he like to be screwed. He also got screwed when the UFC booked Evans / Bisping. And when Bisping moved down to middleweight without a rematch. Both times, not the way Hamill liked to be screwed. How does Matt like to be screwed? Well, why ask me when he can tell you himself!

Yeah, there’s not many guys who ain’t down with the cool kind of threesome. However, I’m always amazed when people put this kinda stuff up in plain view, especially when they’re pseudo-celebrities. Considering Matt didn’t even tell his family he was going on The Ultimate Fighter, you’d think he’d be a little bit better at keeping secrets.

**UPDATE** How can i forget to give credit where credit is due. Thanks to jackal Atom for making us aware of this! You da man!

Over at EvanTanner.net, Evan isn’t all that happy that everyone’s attributing his success to genetics rather than good ol’fashioned elbow grease:

One thing I’ve heard consistently is how lucky I am to have such great genetics, how blessed I am, as if that is it and that’s all. All of my hard work dismissed so easily with that statement “You’re so lucky to have good genetics.” Of course I have good genetics, but that’s not the total answer. What some people fail to recognize is the total dedication, the nearly obsessive committment to reaching my goal.

Those who make statement fail to recognize the fact that I workout up to four times a day, any single one of those workouts being far more intense than any singe workout most people with do their entire lives. They fail to acknowledge the incredibly strict diet, 85% to 95% raw organic foods. The fact that I’ve made it a point to be active my entire life, or the fact that I’ve studied nutrition, and physiological performance for over twenty years, and have applied that knowledge.

I know what you mean, Evan. Some people tell me “God, you’re funny!” And I say “God has nothing to do with it you motherfucker!” and I smash their fucking teeth in with one of those glass bottles of Frutopia. Then as they lay there on the ground bleeding, I ask “Do you think God likes that, you cunt?”

People are such pricks. I hate them all. At least Evan knows where it’s at.

 

MMA Magazine Review: Elite Fighter
Issue Reviewed: January 2008
Rating: 5/10

This magazine reads like a bad Maxim knockoff with a few MMA-related articles stuck in as an afterthought. Okay, that might seem a bit harsh, but I’m pretty annoyed at the amount of unrelated material clogging up this magazine. The angle I guess they were working for is that this wasn’t a magazine devoted to fighting, but rather the ‘lifestyle associated with fighting’. And what’s that, you ask? Annoying blingy hiphop gangsta fashionista fuckwad. Or something.

Filler that pissed me off: ‘Mixed Nutz’ section with info on beer, the galaxy, pro wrestling vocabulary, ‘useless trivia’, and some shit about clouds. Five ‘hot girlz’ features, which seems a bit excessive. Two articles on heavy metal musicians that ‘like MMA’. An OWL Magazine style ‘Match the closeup picture of the fighter’s hair to the fighter’s name’ thing. IFL Trivia (barf). And on and on.

Okay, now that I’ve got that off my chest, the thing isn’t all that bad. There were a few good feature articles … they had pieces on Matt Hughes and Dan Henderson, which were notable because they concentrated on their personal lives rather than fight careers. I got to see pics of Hughes’s wife (hot) and Hendo’s wife (not). Oh wait, that was Hendo’s dog. Never mind.

But still, those articles were pretty good and unique. They also got Mike Swick’s girlfriend to write about a vacation to South America, which was a bit banal but still unique enough for me to say thumbs up. And there was a thing about Keith Hackney which was pretty rockin (although not as deep as it could have been).

All in all there’s just something weird about this magazine. There wasn’t any info on subscription to it, but there were cards to subscribe to Ultimate Grappling, plus lots of ads for Ultimate Grappling. Is Elite Fighter the dumping ground for unused Ultimate Grappling content? I dunno, but the quality level fits the description.

Pros: Only 29 of the 96 pages were ads, pretty good ratio there. Design is slick. Lots of half naked chicks … I’d almost say ‘too many’ but can we really say that? The feature pieces are decent, but there just wasn’t enough of them.

Cons: The filler is pretty low grade, to the point of sucking all enjoyment out of the magazine. Waaaay too much barely MMA-related content. They kept interviewing the half naked chicks like we give a fuck which fighter is their favorite. Oh you like Chuck Liddell? How unique! There were like 4 things on the IFL in there, which is 3 things too many.

Final Conclusion: I wouldn’t buy this magazine again. The ‘direction’ of the magazine is just too helter skelter and basically reads like the Tiger Beat of MMA magazines. I have no idea if they’re trying to appeal to teenage boys or airhead girls. Maybe both? Blah.

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