Here’s the big fucking problem with setting up your title shots so far in advance. Shit happens, delays occur, and next thing you know you’ve got a marquee fighter like BJ Penn sitting on the shelf for several cocksucking months. What the fuck is up with that shit?

The amount of talent wasting away on the sidelines waiting for title shots, revenge matches, contractual haggling etc is getting absolutely ridiculous. Doubly so when you consider how many underwhelming fight cards are coming out lately. Every division except the welterweight division is in a clusterfuck state where there’s no clear ladder of contenders, and all of the guys who should be fighting to sort out the pecking order are fighting maybe once every four to five months.

For fucks sake, stop putting your top guns on the shelf waiting for the moon and the stars to align perfectly to create the exact situation you need. The UFC needs to sit down and spread it’s talent properly across the cards and make sure their big names are fighting more. Sure, it’s more expensive card-wise. But they’re gonna make the money back in PPV buys anyways.

If aliens from the future were to come down to earth 6 months ago and tell me that UFC 78 would be headlined by Michael Bisping vs Rashad Evans, I would have considered them devious untrustworthy liars and sent them off to Area 51 for dissection. Considering that fact, I don’t even know how the fuck I’m supposed to react to this quote:

“Dana White, the UFC President, says that the winner [of the fight between Michael Bisping and Rashad Evans] will gain an automatic world light-heavyweight title shot.”

Dear Jesus cocksucking Christ. This must be some sort of joke or misunderstanding or mistake or SOMETHING. Forrest Griffin and Keith Jardine aren’t even being considered real contenders, and they’ve had a lot more success in the UFC than Bisping and Evans.

The idea that Bisping vs Evans should be for a title shot is madness borne out of the backwards thinking that a headlining PPV bout is either a title defense or #1 contender fight. Sooooooo because this joke of a fight is a headlining fight, then simple logic dictates that it MUST be for #1 contender. Heaven forbid anyone at the UFC just admits it’s a booking made out of sheer desperation.

Anyways, I have to pray this is some kind of mistake. I’m also open to the idea that Dana White let this idea slip during some kind of crazy opium bender. Either way, so long as this bout isn’t really for #1 contender, I’m a happy boy.

Last week’s Low Blow featured another two bits. Since our retarded Freestyle episode, everyone has been clamoring for more Sean Connery, so we decided to give his martial arts system Sean Fu a commercial spot. And then there’s the return of Danny ‘The Colossus’ Abaddi featured in our Friday Night Fight ad.

Sean Connery presents: Sean-Fu

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All I can say about this cut: Insert Coin here

 

The article on the UFC front page says it all : “The Maine-iac is Back – Sylvia decisions Vera on UFC 77 Main Card“. Yep, Tim Sylvia is back, and he’s still as boring as ever. I’ve gotten used to that reality at this point. I haven’t seen Sylvia come out with any real aggro intentions since he knocked out Andrei Arlovski a year and a half ago.

But this time there were all sorts of signs that Tim would be different. He replaced his boxing coach whose ‘Keep the distance and jab away” style has resulted in worse approval ratings than George W Bush. Alas, change was not in the cards this night, as Tim tied up Vera and pushed him against the fence for over half the fight. At one point a fight broke out in the stands that had more people on their feet than the event in the Octagon.

What drove me nuts about this fight was the fact that Tim was owning Vera in the exchanges. Why he kept deciding to clinch and push Brandon Vera around I have no fucking clue. He said something about his gameplan being to close the distance to prevent Vera from using his kicks, but this wasn’t all that necessary.

Sylvia should have been able to realize he was winning the striking and adjust his game plan. You could see his corner playing charades between rounds showing Tim how to push Vera off and throw more punches.

Anyways … it wasn’t the fact that Tim was uninspired again. I’m used to that at this point. It was the flashes of real talent wasted that got me all riled up.

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