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It’s been a while since I’ve ripped into the IFL for being a farce, and I do apologize for that. Things have actually been going well for them lately, with their Grand Prix Finals being picked up by HDNet and the promise of a steamy live broadcast relationship through 2008.

However, dumb moves always come back to bite you in the ass. I’m sure the IFL thought it was fucking genius to mess with the tournament brackets halfway through the tournament, moving Wagnney Fabiano from the Lightweight championship match to a previously nonexistant Featherweight belt fight.

I mean, who really cares? This lets them jump start their new division, and they had Shad Lierley ready to step in to face Chris Horokecki in what they billed in advertisements as a potential ‘Fight of the Year’ (p.s. no it wasn’t).

Well, the gods of MMA were obviously displeased with the IFL fucking with the tournament format, and so Zeus struck Shad Lierley down with a broken toe such as no one has ever seen before! Woe on Shad, who may never walk again! If only the injury was not so severe, perhaps Shad could have fought through it. But toe injuries are serious business. Lets take a moment to be thankful that Shad is still alive today.

So John Gunderson (2-2 in the IFL) stepped up! And then stepped down with some sort of hand injury. Again, let’s just be thankful that Gunderson’s career isn’t over because of this. Now Ryan Schultz (4-2 in the IFL) has answered the call, no doubt a bit leery of the curse which seems to be upon this tournament bracket.

All in all, the IFL shouldn’t have fucked with the tournament after it had started. Bad mojo, man. Bad mojo.

Continuing on a trend of things I have to do for the site that I don’t like doing, you can add “Read Chuck Liddell’s book” to the list. And I’m not saying this because no one really cares about Chuck’s life story … I’m saying this because the summary on the book’s sleeve features writing barely fit for a pulp romance book:

 What’s it like to have no fear, to make people cower in their shoes, to know the sweet satisfaction of knocking a guy out with a single, devastating punch? You have to read my book to find out. I’ve been called the baddest man on the planet. I’m the face of Ultimate Fighting Championship, the leader in mixed martial arts and the fastest growing sport in America. In 1998 I won my first MMA fight. Not long after, the UFC came calling, and eventually fought my way to become the #1 ranked light-heavyweight contender in the world. Not bad for a bartender with a college degree in accounting.

I was raised by a single mother and inspired by my grandfather, a first-generation Irish American from Mafia-run Brooklyn. I learned how to fight at a very young age. Now I’m 6’2″, 220 pounds, and a trained lethal weapon, but I’m also fiercely loyal, maybe even a bit sensitive, and unexpectedly romantic. In raw detail, and with total honesty, I’m going to tell you the story of my fighting life—both inside and outside the Octagon—including my childhood in the poor section of Santa Barbara, gritty insider accounts of my major fights, stories behind my trademark mohawk and nickname, my ongoing rivalry with Tito Ortiz and deep-rooted friendship with Dana White, and how I balance life as a father, a UFC champ, and a superstar—or try to, anyway. With never-before-seen photos, Iceman is my true, no-holds-barred story of fighting my way to become a champion.

“Maybe” sensitive? “Unexpectedly romantic”? Yeah, Chuck is super romantic … his idea of a romantic evening is two chicks grinding him at a club or playing doctor.

Chuck isn’t the only one putting out a book … Matt Hughes has also ‘penned’ a book with some guy named Michael Malice (cooler name than WEC’s Brian Dropick? You decide!). While it reads at a high school level compared to Chuck’s kindergarten picture book, these guys lose points for saying Jesus way too many times, and because co-author Michael Malice thinks MMA fans are usually too dumb to read books:

It has been pointed out to me that the good thing about this book is that many people will be buying it that would otherwise not buy books. Yes, that is true and yes, i should have realized that.

I do a lot of shit I don’t want to do because of this site. Eating shit and getting naked aside, I also have to listen to a whackload of Sherdog Radio, which is about the most terrible stuff in the universe. It wasn’t always like that, but when they switched to ‘live’ format and introduced around 70 extra ‘filler’ minutes per show, listening to it became something akin to torture. I’d rather stab myself in the neck with a needle than listen to this shit.

But listen I did, because two days ago the Beatdown guys had Sean Sherk on the show and I wanted to hear if he was gonna act like a big baby regarding his stripped title. Unfortunately it was a big letdown … no new news, although Sherk did lie about the shit BJ Penn has been saying about him, claiming he hadn’t really heard about it when he’d already responded to it in another interview. Sherk, you fucking liar, you.

Anyways, as I said, there wasn’t really anything new said. But I had to blog about it because if I didn’t then listening to the Beatdown would have been for nothing and I would have had to kill myself.

Bad news for those of you who were won over by the heart and spunk of TUF6 contestant Jon Koppenhaver:

Recent contestant on season six of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF), Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver, was hauled in today before a California Superior Court Judge on charges that he allegedly choked a man unconscious and punched him in the grill on September 2, according to the San Diego Tribune.

The victim in the case claims that he did not see who broke his face in the confrontation. Furthermore, an independent witness at the scene of the crime testified that Koppenhaver was involved in the incident but was not the one responsible for the damage.

“War Machine” faces a maximum of seven years in the clink if the case goes to trial and he is convicted.
Now many of you probably think that since Jon wasn’t the one beating the unconscious bastard, he’s gonna get off easy. While I don’t doubt the one who actually did the punching will get a worse sentence, the law’s pretty clear on one thing: if you’re directly involved in a situation like this and you don’t try to stop things when they escalate, you’re held responsible for what goes on. No, that’s not some fucked up branch of the Good Samaritan law … we’re talking about Jon being a part of the gang that participated in the beating of this guy.

Jon Koppenhaver’s not the only TUF alumni who’s going to or has been in jail … TUF5’s Rob Emerson also served time this year for a bar assault, and spent time in the poke back in 2000 for a series of assaults with a pack of rich ‘frat’ kids. You can go check out a news story with all the details here. Rob Emerson is the scared kid in the suit near the end of the video.

I’d like to think there’s no way the next season of TUF could suck with Quinton Jackson being involved. Of course, the cynic in me says it’s still a very good possibility.

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