No, it’s not another one sided beatdown in the Octagon. This time the game is tonsil hockey, and we’ll see who’s the Wayne Gretzky of that!

Hmm, I dunno about this one. The ducky lips might be good for some, but I’m a fan of tongue over lips. Bonus points go to Chuck for his tender gaze and soft, exploratory hands. I’d award bonus points to the chick for her naughty nurse outfit, but she loses those for taking a photo of herself while making out. That’s just way too MySpace for me.

Everyone loves to give Jenna a hard time, so I’m gonna buck the trend. If she put on about 15 pounds I’d bet she’d look pretty damned good. Besides, you know you’d fuck her. Yes you would. Sure she’s got genital warts. But so do you. Everyone has genital warts nowadays. At least that’s what my last girlfriend told me…

I know I said I’m all about tongue when critiquing Chuck’s kiss, but this is a bit too much even for me. This looks less like a kiss and more like a recreation of that scene from Lady and the Tramp. Except instead of spaghetti these two are eating a newborn baby.

PS: Props to MMA Punch for stealing those pics of his sister macking Chuck and uploading them for us all .

Nick Diaz was on the Beatdown a day or two ago and did a really good job of reppin’ for marijuana smokers around the world:

“People were thinking like uhh, that I had it in my head that I’m gonna bet busted for weed and I’m scared… I don’t care! I’m like “good”, especially if it’s like, you know if we can make a point out of it or whatever? That fine, if I can go and be the guy to tell the whole world that smoking pot’s good for you… good fucking gravy. Because, uh… you know what I mean? Uhhhh, I… I was… (silence) where was I at? Where was I at? What was I saying? Hello?”

It only gets better from here. And no, we are not making this up. He actually said this stuff. More after the jump…

“Dude, I’m fuckin’ gonna do whatever I gotta do to get by… buddy. Alright? I’m gonna I’m gonna I’m just gonna rock it, and I’m gonna roll it. And I don’t really give a fuck right now, you know what I mean? Like, I don’t give a shit dude. I’ll fight anybody, why do you think I’ll fight anybody? Cuz I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t give a SHIT. I live at home with my parents. There are no women around here at all. There are no girls. I fuckin, I see girls once on the weekends if I don’t have a fight, you know what I mean? Like, it’s fucking ridiculous. I’m over here in this fight, you know trying to make some money. Uhhh, you know… fuckin… pfffft… I don’t know. I’m just rollin’ here, so whatever, you know. We can do whatever, so whatever’s more important, I don’t know…

But, uhh… what’s important to me, is that at least people just don’t think I’m a joke. Cuz I’m not a joke, I’ll fucking whoop your ass. You know? So… so what, you know? And that got me as far as, uhh.. as far as it got me now, so… if it’s not now because we smoke pot, I’m like “wow, that’s like, it’s what got us here.” You know what I mean? Smoking weed might have got us here. I mean, if you’re not hanging out with your friends, doing martial arts in the back yard and smoking weed and other shit like that, you might not be a uhhh a mixed martial artist in your…and you know if you are you might be a big fucking pussy! You hung out with the wrong, with the wrong homie’s that fucking… are… are…

you know I think makin’ weed illegal is a little paranoid, don’t you think? It’s like saying God made a mistake, you know what I mean? It’s like, you have the whole earl, world and earth, and all it’s holy creations, right? And God’s like “Hmmm, look at my whole world, and all it’s holy ways… ” and he’s like “OH MY ME OH SHIT… I left weed in here!” Yeah right! You know, he’s like “I left weed in here! Uhhh, I should’t have smoked that joint on the 3rd day.” You know what I mean?

Like, what the fuck.. you think he forgot? Or something, you know? I mean, just looking at it from a religious-esque point of view. Or, anything- uhhh, something like that, you know? And then it’s like oh…FUCK, now he’s gotta create Republicans or something, right? Or, or what not. I don’t know anything about it dude.

I’m just sayin’, you know… I don’t, I don’t know. I’m just fuckin’ irritated that I get {smitted?} and put a dent in my career, cuz…. I wanna smoke some fuckin weed.”

Big thanks to MMA.tv member Sandy Panties for taking the time to transcribe this.

Part three of our ‘Fightlinker is a stalker’ series features the Flikr account of Fighters Only magazine’s Hywel Teague. There’s over 125 simply amazing pictures of MMA fighters and about a dozen pics of naughty ladies. Hywel was already on my cool list before, but now I wanna be his best friend.

There’s been a whole lot of hubbub regarding Michael Bisping’s bad manners at the UFC75 post-event conference. Of course, those in the know are aware that while Bisping Jr was getting roasted by the press, Bisping Sr was getting manhandled in the parking lot. Another interesting factoid is that some of the quotes being attributed to Bisping Jr aren’t actually what he said. James from Fighting Spirit Magazine did a quick comparison between what Fox Sports had Michael Bisping saying and what he really did say:

As for the rest of that article on the Fox website, it should be pointed out that there is some outright fabrication in Ben Cohen’s Mike Bisping “quotes”, most of which are completely made up. I’m not usually this anal about misreporting (especially on the internet), but since I was there, and since I’ve just been listening to my audio of the press conference, I think it needs to be pointed out that what Cohen is “reporting” is largely fictitious.

The rest is after the jump!

“Of course I (expletive) won. What the (expletive) do you know you fat (expletive) (expletive)?”

What Bisping ACTUALLY said was:

“Of course. Don’t insult me like that.” “Seriously?” replied Oliver. “What do you mean, ‘seriously’? You wanna go three rounds? Cheeky bastard. Of course I f**king won the decision. Get the fuck outta here.”

——-

“Staring aggressively at the hapless journalist, Bisping continued. ‘You can wipe that cheeky smile of you fat (expletive) face as well.’”

What Bisping ACTUALLY said was:

“Get that smile of your face too, while you insult me.”

——-

“Well you are the only one who seems to think so,” came another remark from the press.

Just being picky, but the ACTUAL remark from Wolfgang was:

“I think you are the only one who think so.” (Just to illustrate that the Fox guy is fabricating the press’ statements, not just the fighters’.)

——-

“You can (expletive) off, too. Who the (expletive) are you? Let’s see how many rounds you can go in the octagon you fat piece of (expletive).”

Not only is this misquotation, this is SHEER FALLACY, as Mike said no such thing. In fact, he didn’t say ANYTHING, as Marshall Zelaznik interjected, saying: “I don’t think that’s right – there was a professional judge, two of them, that felt that way.” It was then Rampage who stepped in and made a comment (which I can’t make out on my recording) about Oliver and Wolfgang. Mike said NOTHING, and at no time did he make ANY comment about the men’s weight.

Just thought it was important to set that straight, as there is arguably even more wrong with Ben Cohen posting falsehoods than there is in a fighter speaking out of turn at a press conference. If you want to take Bisping to task for the way he reacted, you’ve got more than enough fuel to do so – you don’t need to LIE.

This info was from a comment posted on the always interesting comments section of FightOpinion.com. Zach’s site is a safe haven of sorts for intelligent people who like to discuss MMA in a civil manner. While over here we just talk about nailgun accidents, dungeons and dragons, and other random shit. Yeah, that’s just how we rollz. Anyways, I’d encourage you to go check out the conversations but I’d rather you just stayed here and talked to me. So fuck them!

**Update** Fox Sports has changed the article and removed the offending passages. No correction notice in the article and I dunno if any of those involved in uncovering this foul treachery will be receiving a fruit basket from Fox. I might send myself a fruit basket … then tommorow I can go “Wow! A fruit basket! Who could be so nice to do that? Oh, it’s me? I’m just awesome!”

When it comes to women’s fighting, Australians don’t fuck around. You won’t see any Barbie dolls fighting down under, because the real fighting women are tough as nails and mean like sharks. I don’t know why Australia is a hotbed for women’s MMA action … maybe its because they’re so close to Thailand. Or maybe since it’s okay for guys to hit girls in Australia, no one has a problem with girls hitting girls.

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