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If you’re worried that I’ve sold my soul to Bodog and am whoring out their gambling shit, then don’t worry: it’ll take at least a few more weeks for my affiliate paperwork to go through. For now, this isn’t ‘whoring’ since whoring denotes getting paid. So am I slutting it up? I’m so new to this. It’s so exciting.

Anyways, the point of this post is to tell you guys how tilted the Bodog odds are on some of the UFC78 fights:

Joe Lauzon -450
Jason Reinhardt +300

Karo Parisyan -450
Ryo Chonan +300

Rashad Evans -325
Michael Bisping +250

Now I don’t know the math on this shit so I have no idea how much you’ll make by doing whatever. The general rule on betting is the guy with the – is the favorite and the bigger the difference between the two numbers, the more money you make betting on the underdog. I think that’s how it works. As you can tell, I’m not exactly that Perfumedy guy. With that disclaimer, let’s take a look at some long shot betting!

Joe Lauzon -450
Jason Reinhardt +300

This is a case of yin and yang, or karmic comeuppance. Joe Lauzon got a sweet karmic break against Jens Pulver last year, so the stars demand that Joe must now lose in embarrassing fashion himself to an underdog. Unless of course Joe sold his soul to Satan for that win over Jens. In which case Joe will probably win. Because if he’s smart he’d sell his soul to be a great fighter, not so he could win one fight.

Karo Parisyan -450
Ryo Chonan +300

I love Karo Parisyan, but he’s only ended fights twice since 2001. In other words, he can’t put out a match … dude couldn’t find a sub at Quiznos. Chonan on the other hand has lotsa knockouts on his resume and some retardedly sick submissions. He is the father of the mythical ‘Flying Heel Hook’. Plus he looks like an Asian fucking gangsta. All in all, this here’s your best chance at making some sweet cash … Chonan winning would only be considered an upset by ignorant TUF fans.

Rashad Evans -325
Michael Bisping +250

People keep forgetting the fact that Rashad Evans fucking sucks. Sure, Michael Bisping isn’t exactly stellar either, but he’s a lot better than Rashad. This fight could go either way depending on how dumb or smart Bisping is with his game plan, but I have no idea what the odds guy is smoking putting odds like this out. I wouldn’t bet my kid on it (I already lost him on Tito-Shamrock 3), but I wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable putting a few bucks on Bisping.

A significant portion of our readers are also fans of “The Low Blow”, our flagship radio show. And if you are a fan, you may have heard that this weekend, we’ll be doing a live show on Saturday, via streaming. Considering both of us are borderline retarded when it comes to technology, this thing will either be the most awesome show in the history of MMA, or it’ll tap out faster than Bo Cantrell (too soon?). Either way, every single reader absolutely needs to tune in and listen, since we’ll be doing the show right after UFC 78!

So, since we’re busy setting up everything to be hunky dory, we want everyone who listens to the show to start hyping it up. That’s right: your solemn duty is to lie, exaggerate, and do everything possible to get everyone to listen in. Tell your girlfriend that Oprah will be on, or your non MMA friends that hot, sexy naked women will be fucking on the show, live. Hey, it worked for Howard Stern, no?

So now you know what to do. What the fuck are you sitting there just reading this then? Get to it Jackals!

I know we said we’d take a break on the 2 girls 1 cup thing … but Joe Rogan is related to MMA. So here’s the deal: no more 2 girls 1 cup videos unless it involves major league MMA peeps. Okay? Okay.

Haha, fucking wicked:

UFC returns to New Jersey — a place the promotion hasn’t been for over two years — this Saturday for UFC 78. It’s fitting that the event is being held in Newark, just off I-95, because it could easily be called “UFC 78: E-ZPass.”

UFC 78 features no title fights, no grudge matches, and no transcendental marquee names. Instead MMA fans are presented with what amounts to a night of undercard fights and will have to wait six more weeks for UFC 79 — a monster event that does have fans buzzing.

 
Fightlinker is proud to announce the formation of the MMA world’s second-ever sanctioning body, setting the stage for us to make lots of money off other people’s work!

“Assholes Making Money off Mixed Martial Arts”, or AMMOMMA, will do absolutely nothing that isn’t already done by athletic commissions, and in many cases we will actually do less! We will establish a set of unified rules based on the Unified Rules, ensure fighter safety by following the same standards already in place, and ‘sanction world championship bouts’. And by sanction, I mean sell the rights to the highest bidder.

AMMOMMA has strong ties to the fight industry, led by the highly respected Fightlinker staff and the rotting corpse of Ravishing Rick Rude. With these connections, AMMOMMA will create THE ULTIMATE TOP TEN LIST by doing an unprecedented poll on both the Underground AND Sherdog forums to see who is really #1 around the world. Well known Sherdog user “GraciezNuts” will be our lead forum pollster.

Remember to show up at our press conference next Wednesday which will feature a FREE STEAK DINNER and some fat boxing guys!

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