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The UFC has smartened up a bit and is matching two Brits against eachother for the Newcastle show, because God knows whenever they put a UK fighter in the ring with a REAL fighter, they always lose. Haha, just kidding. But seriously now, they do.

So it makes sense that if you put two British fighters against eachother, at least one will win! Unless of course both fighters manage to lose somehow, which I wouldn’t put it past them. Because they’re British. And the British are just really bad at MMA.

But hey, at least this is a sign the UFC is trying to lock in and develop more authentic UK stars instead of relying on Michael ‘Sinking Ship’ Bisping.

Oh yeah, the two fighter’s names are Paul Taylor and Paul Kelly. That’s why it’s a Battle of the Pauls. Me so witty!

Zombie-PRIDE is up to it’s old tricks by announcing fighters who aren’t fighting on their card. A few of the names in their list seemed kinda fishy from the get go, but I don’t hold sketchy Japanese promotions up to the same level of professionalism as I do with American companies.

Anyways, the first fighters to come out and say “I’m doing what when? Huh?” is Ricardo Arona, who cited ‘personal problems’ as the reason he’s not fighting and stated he wouldn’t be fighting until next year. Who will be next on the “I’m not fighting at this” train? My bet is Gilbert Melendez or Hellboy Hansen.

The more I read about Karo, the more I like him. Sure, his fight at UFC 78 was a pretty gradual snoozer, but it turns out that Karo WENT INTO THE FIGHT WITH A FUCKING BROKEN HAND:

One factor that almost no one knew going into the fight with Chonan is that Karo had a broken hand, something that may keep him out of action for a while waiting for the injury to heal.

“My right hand is broken,” Parisyan stated. “I fought with a broken hand, on top of my wrist, on top of my hand, right above my knuckles, and I fought with that.”

That means he didn’t break it during the fight … he knew it was broken going into the fight and he still took it. How’s that for fucking dedication. Add that on top of the fact that his opponent was switched 3 weeks out, and you gotta give the greasy Armenian points for moxy.

Another quote that impressed me from Karo:

“I’d love to fight Jon Fitch,” Parisyan said with much enthusiasm.

Outside of a possible match-up with Fitch, the 10x UFC veteran still awaits a shot at the title and is unsure of his next move.

“We’ll see what’s in store for me,” said Parisyan. “Fitch or a title shot or what else is next?”

This isn’t a dude who’s going to sit out for 8 or 9 months until he gets his shot … he’s gonna take all fucking comers like a real champion should. In fact, while this hokey TUF-induced welterweight title freeze is on, I am officially declaring Karo Parisyan as the interim WW champion because he’s not fucking around – he just fights. He doesn’t give a shit about anything but getting in the ring and fighting.

As for not finishing fights … kicking someone’s ass for 15 minutes straight shouldn’t be something fans hold against him. Sure he needs to learn how to finish. But so long as he keeps it interesting and pushes the pace, I’ll forgive his fights going to the judges scorecards.

More news to make me shake my head. Looks like Mark Hunt is ‘back’, if you consider ‘back’ meaning he’ll be doing work with HUSTLE, PRIDE’s pro wrestling sister organization. Hunt follows the path of other former PRIDE fighters like Mark Coleman and Kevin Randleman who for one reason or another can’t seem to get any real fights lined up.

I’m not gonna say this is like Picasso painting a bathroom stall, but come on now. What the fuck is Mark Hunt doing wasting his time with pro wrestling? My fingers are crossed that this news evolves into Mark Hunt fighting for the zombie-PRIDE Yarennoka event. Against Fujita or something equally awesome like that.

If you’re a big fat stupid American, then you’re probably busy being at home eating lots of good food with your fucking family. As I am a goddamn Canadian, I’m stuck at work in a tie eating a stupid Nature Valley bar for fucking lunch like a schmuck.

All those other sites may be off for Thanksgiving, but not us. We will continue to dance for your amusement like the lackeys we are.

As for what we’re thankful for:

  • We’re thankful that we haven’t gotten sued by the UFC yet
  • We’re thankful we haven’t been physically harmed by an MMA fighter for the things we’ve said about them
  • We’re thankful that our readers aren’t clueless morons or useless assholes like at Sherdog.net

That’s about it. We’d also like to thank our sponsors … but we don’t have any. So I guess that’s that. Happy fucking Thanksgiving you sons of bitches. I hope you choke to death on your turkey.

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