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I love Matt Hughes … he’s such a fucking bastard. Lots of people seem to take offense to this fact because he’s also pretty hardcore Christian, but hey … Jesus never said “Don’t be a prick”. Besides, I bet if you asked Matt Hughes if he was a dick, he’d probably say he preferred to be considered a ‘straight-shooter’. Check out this excerpt from his book where he’s doing some ‘straight shooting’ with Tim Sylvia (or just skim to the parts I highlighted, because they’re delightfully evil):

“Tim Sylvia walked over to me during practice. His back was hunched a bit, like Pat’s is, but Pat I could look in the face.

‘Can I talk to you a second?’ he asked.

“Sure thing.” He led me into an office and we sat down on two chairs.

“No one here’s got a problem with me except you,” he began.

“When I first started, Jens would say I’m a fat piece of s*** who’s never going to amount to anything, and he’d get me crying, but now even Jens likes me. Is there a problem?”

He was waiting for me to tell him there was a big misunderstanding or to apologise, like I wasn’t aware of what I was doing.

“Yeah, I really don’t like you,” I told him.

“I’m actually hurt to hear you say that. I’ve been a huge fan of yours for a long time and I’ve been trying to model myself on some of your work ethics, and the way Jens works out and stuff like that, and it’s too bad you feel like this.

There’s nothing more that I want than to be accepted by you and the rest of the guys.

“You don’t become accepted by buying yourself a ticket to Vegas, following us around while we’re there when no one really invited you, and then crying – again – when Jens calls you out on it.

“Is there anything I can do to be friends with you?”

“Well, right now I have enough friends and I don’t need any more friends,” I said. “Is that it? Are we done here?”

He let out a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Good.” I got up and left.

Oh man … BRUTAL. Matt Hughes paints Tim as that annoying kid who just hangs around all the time that no one likes. And while most hearty Christian stories end with the outsider learning some life lessons and being included in the fold, this one ends with Matt Hughes basically saying “Fuck you you fucking crybaby bitch!” Now that’s a heartwarming Christmas story for your hearth!

Props to fellow jackal Dragomort for digging the excerpt up!

Josh Barnett updated his myspace pictures page with a bunch of shots from his trip to Japan. Looking at these, I keep thinking its no wonder Josh doesn’t want to fight in America. Over here he’s just that goofy dude with love handles. Over in Japan he’s like this giant white God amongst rat-faced men.

Us North Americans? We can see right through his cool clothes and hardcore act … our nerd detectors are too powerful to be deceived. We know he’s really all about cheesy fantasy novels, pro wrestling, and those stupid little anime books you have to read backwards.

While Georges St Pierre can certainly say that his training camp has been excellent, he can’t say the same about his entire Christmas vacation. Just days before leaving for Las Vegas, Georges was pulled over by the police and had his car impounded. The reason? Expired plates.

Of course, when you’re fucking rich like GSP, you just laugh that shit off and show up at the impound lot carrying a big sack with a dollar sign drawn on it. When that happened to me, I showed up at the subway station with a big sack full of pennies and nickels because I can’t afford the fucking fee to get my shit back out.

Every time I get sick and tired of working on this blog, I just remember those bastards over at Cage Potato watching … waiting. Ready to pounce and take my throne at a moment’s notice. That’s when I drag myself away from whatever totally sweet marathon is showing on TNT and get back to fucking work on this soul sucking thing.

But today it looks like I dallied a bit too long, for Cage Potato got the scoop on Matt Serra’s current condition. Well, can you really call it a scoop when they actually got the news from Dave Meltzer’s newsletter? Or is it more of a scoop of a scoop, because they’re the first ones in the blogosphere to break it? Does anyone really care? God, the politics of the MMA news scene are so gay. I’m glad everyone hates me and just leaves me alone.

Anyways, back to that news: Apparently Matt Serra’s condition has improved significantly, from ‘searing unbearable pain’ to ‘I still can’t walk but at least I don’t want to die anymore’. This is good news that would point to Serra being back in action sooner rather than later, although it was also mentioned that Serra went native and is now a fat jabroni sitting somewhere around 200 pounds.

It’s apparently that time of year when all the gentrified MMA writers take the monocle out of their eye, imbibe a hearty sip of brandy, and wax philosophical about the rousing year of happenings in the Asiatics. First it was Dave Meltzer, then Zach Arnold, and now Jojo Breen has penned her entry, snootily entitled ‘Sunken Ships and Black Ships’. How artsy.

While Meltzer tried to expose a few layers of the onion that is Japanese MMA, Zach Arnold simply cut it in half to show off it’s rotten core. Breen has taken the approach of concentrating on the events of 2007 themselves, mentioning backroom shenanigans only when they directly caused the collapse of an event like they did with K1 Dynamite USA:

It would’ve been hard for Dynamite!! USA to have been anymore epically disastrous. A botched main event and absurd matchmaking largely overshadowed the few gems the card produced. Gracie-Sakuraba II has all but been erased from the canon already. A hollow attendance record is more a punch line than an achievement. In the end, it seems apropos for the debacle to be remembered most readily for a clueless local DJ whose ignorance to his audience greatly mirrored FEG’s very own incompetence.

For those of you who weren’t around on this site when we were serving up grilled Dynamite on a daily basis, here’s a few highlights from our coverage so you too can remember how much of a cock-up that whole event was.

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