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I always thought Gary Shaw looked like a cheap 80’s mobster in his retarded tracksuits and big fat rings on his big fat fingers. And while of course I’m sure everything he says below is pure business, it certainly does sound like a sketchy mob thing where Shaw hasn’t gotten his ‘cut’ from Gina Carano’s American Gladiator deal:

Sam Caplan: Gina Carano is going to appear in the upcoming revival of American Gladiators on NBC under the name “Crush.” Did she consult with EliteXC before signing on to do the show?

Gary Shaw: Well, that’s a legal question. I don’t want to discuss that specific question. But if we can work out everything then I think it could be great for Gina. I’m a big, big fan of hers; a big fan of her family’s. I think it would help in her career both on television and in mixed martial arts. I know she wants to get back into the cage, she’s told me that on several occasions. It will just give her a lot more visibility (and) I hope we can work out everything in front of us.

Sam Caplan: What things need to be worked out?

Gary Shaw: I never discuss legal issues or money issues in the press.

Jeez, it doesn’t sound like there’s issues at all. Not! It’s also interesting to note that Gina Carano didn’t appear in the American Gladiators commercial that’s been playing over the past few weeks. Could it be that there’s some contractual issues that are going to keep her from appearing?

(oh, how could i almost forget AGAIN: this photo is by the very excellent All Elbows, who you should most definitely check out, and if you’re like a magazine or some shit, pay her for some stuff)

Considering all the crazy hardcore fans MMA has, it always surprises me when stuff like this slips through the cracks. Tito Ortiz was in a movie called Valley of the Wolves last year, and clips are only just now getting onto the internet. Since the movie is Turkish, you probably have no idea what anyone is saying, so here’s a synopsis of the scene from Wikipedia:

While captives are transported on a long journey in a container on a truck, one guard says to the other: “They might suffocate in the container because there is no fresh air supply”. The truck stops, the (American) guard gets off the truck and fires hundreds of bullet-holes into the container with an automatic weapon “in order to make holes for the air to get in”, but many detainees are injured or die.

A similar event is reported to have occurred in Afghanistan after the battle for Mazari Sharif on November 9, 2001, with Taliban soldiers in the container and soldiers of the Afghan Northern Alliance as their guardians, as described in the documentary film Massacre at Mazar by Irish filmmaker Jamie Doran. This event is also reenacted in the film The Road to Guantanamo.

Haha woo! Go Fightlinker, we’re your source for laughs and fun! And information about war atrocities! Woo! Horse cocks!

Ali Sonoma was interviewed by Jarry Park and she blah blah blah bla bla blah blah. Oh, and she’s single again!

AH: Are you and Diego still together?

AS: No, we decided to call it quits based on our careers. I will be away for months-we are still best friends, though. We talk everyday. I do and always will love him. He is on a different level of any guy I have ever met.

Past that there’s some stuff about how everyone blamed her for Diego losing, what she’s doing now, and other stuff we don’t really care about. She says we can see her on MTV’s reality show “The Mag”, but I’m not really sure why a reality show would need a girl to wander around holding a numbered placard. It’s just one of those mysteries, I guess.

Well big surprise. Andrei Arlovski’s management is refuting MMAWeekly’s claim that he plans on riding out the remainder of his contract and then leave for another company:

“The report was absolutely not true, and the UFC is working closely with us.” Khorlinsky said. “They haven’t been disrespectful to us. (Arlovski) has stated numerous times that he’s looking forward to his next fight with the UFC.”

That fight will likely come in March, according to Khorlinsky. Currently, only UFC 82 (March 1 in Columbus) has been officially announced by the UFC.

“When we talk to the UFC, we keep it confidential, and they keep it confidential,” Khorlinsky said.

Of course, I’m sure there are lawyers in the UFC’s vast legal empire who would have taken MMAWeekly’s claims quite seriously, possibly considering them a precursor to breach of contract. Why oh why would Andrei’s management team ever deny something like that??? And we should remember that MMAWeekly is a totally shoddy website that’s always getting stuff wrong. Oh wait, no they don’t. Hmmm.

Long story short, people: if someone denies something that they’re legally not allowed to admit they said, there’s a good chance they’re fucking lying, especially when you’ve got an established and reliable news source reporting the exact opposite.

I’m on a plane down to Tennessee today, but fear not! I stayed up all night drinking Rockstars and masturbating so that you would have content to get you through your dreary day. So this is basically just a note to say if something crazy happens like Josh Koscheck reveals he’s bi-gendered or Jeff Sherwood says he’s suing Fightlinker, I’m not around to cover it.

Past that point I leave the comments section in my hetero life parter Jake’s handi-capable hands. Be good, you stinking Jackals. None of that ‘substitute teacher’ bullshit while I’m away, or there’ll be hell to pay come Friday.

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