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You may or may not have heard that Randy Couture was doing a charity poker tournament this weekend. I was gonna do some promo for it but I feel like I’ve been too nice lately and any more posts about Randy involving puppies or charities might make everyone forget that he’s a bastard who won’t get in the cage and fight for our amusement anymore.

Anyways, Randy had a pretty damn good run, with two do-or-die hands developing for him on the flop. There’s no word yet on how well Randy did in his own tournament but for someone who claimed he barely knows how to play, he certainly didn’t do too shabby.

The guys over at MMA Ring Girls (looks like that crack team of UFC lawyers got to them too) are trying to identify this mystery UFC ring girl from the dark ages of UFC lore, when Pitbull Energy Drink owned the center of the octagon and Amber Nichole Miller roamed the earth.

I dunno who this chick is, but she reminds me of Jem from Jem and the Holograms.

The more Sean Sherk talks about his ‘bogus’ steroids situation, the more I want to punch him in the face. Today he reiterated his dumbass position that he should be allowed to take whatever supplements he wants and if they’ve got steroids in them, that isn’t his problem:

He said a glucosamine supplement he took was later found to be contaminated with a testosterone booster. But he said if that’s how the steroid got into his body, he can’t understand how he should be held responsible for it.

“Even if it was a tainted supplement, I had no intentions of taking it and it was somebody else’s error,” Sherk said. “I think they should be at fault rather than me. Contamination of supplements is an issue. There have been people who have tested positive in the past for that reason, but I don’t think the fighter should be held responsible. It’s not the fighter’s fault.”

For someone who’s apparently paranoid about what goes into his body, Sean sure doesn’t seem to care that much about the fact that there’s a good amount of unmarked and illegal substances in his supplements.

There’s that gay old saying “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” which I think applies to this situation perfectly. Sherk now IMPLICITLY KNOWS that supplements as a whole have a problem with being tainted and containing illegal substances. As far as he’s concerned, it’s not his problem. Which is about as dumb as can get.

Hey, I don’t really give a shit what happens to Sherk as a result of his retarded world views. But if he beats BJ Penn down the road and wins the title back, and THEN TESTS POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS AGAIN, I am going to go absolutely batshit insane.

Surprise surprise, another fledgling organization booked an event bigger than their britches and ended up fucking themselves over and getting canceled. The long and short of it is that the WCO booked half the available free agents in MMA and then didn’t have the money to pay them up front, so the CSAC shut them down.

Sure, shutting down a show because “the fighters might not get paid” seems more like a way to guarantee that the fighters don’t get paid, but when you hear about shady shit like this happening, you have to give the benefit of the doubt to the CSAC (and god knows I’m the last person you’d normally hear say that):

Several fighters indicated that they were approached to tear up their current contracts and sign new agreements that would pay them $100 for fighting on the event and then sign a separate agreement that would make up the difference between the $100 and their originally agreed upon purse in what would be dubbed an “appearance fee” to be paid at a later date.

In the end, I don’t have much sympathy for the WCO. They were the douches that were bringing Mike Kyle back into the sport, and I had no interest in supporting a company that’d do that, no matter how many other fighters on the card I wanted to see. Add that to the ‘Book big and cross your fingers mentality’, and these guys now take the early lead for biggest disaster event of 2008.

As mentioned previously, Matt Hughes and his co-writer are in the middle of a book tour that’s taking them across all the ignorant bible thumpin’ regions of America and beyond. They’re also blogging the experience over at Matt Hughes site, but there hasn’t really been anything worth noting … until today that is. Here’s a little excerpt from Michael Malice, who past being a guy who doesn’t think much of MMA fan’s literacy rate also happens to be Jewish. Note this heartwarming exchange about how that played out.

One question my friends would have for me is whether the fact that I am Jewish and Matt is a Christian was ever an issue working together. The answer is that it has been 100% positive. As a writer, you should always try to see past what someone is saying and hear what it is that they are meaning. One of Matt’s close friends admitted he hoped that I found Christ on this book tour. To him, Christ is the way to eternal happiness and salvation in Heaven. For someone to wish that I find eternal happiness is perhaps the most benevolent statement possible, even if his wording might be a little unusual to someone from a different background.

Oh, I agree: it’s always nice when someone wishes you to have eternal happiness. But it’s not so fucking nice when it’s a conditional eternal happiness, and if you don’t meet that condition you don’t get salvation. And hey … if you’re not saved, where do you go? Fucking hell. And you burn forever like the goddamn heathen Jew sinner you are.

That’s always been a big rub for me and religion … how can anyone support something that condemns so many people to something as horrific as hell? I’d like to think that any God out there isn’t going to give a shit if I’m a Jew or a Christian or a Muslim or a Pastafarian for that matter. I figure when I die I’m gonna meet him up at the gates of wherever and he’s gonna say “Well Ryan, you were a good guy and you did a lot of good things. Since I’m not an egotistical asshole, I don’t mind that you didn’t believe in me, because you followed the tenets of what I was all about. Actually the fact that you did this on your own and not because of the whole bullshit heaven/hell reward/punishment thing makes you even better than everyone else.”

And then we’d high-five, drink some beers, and hit the strip club.

Fucking A!

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