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Montreal ex-pat Ariel from Jarry Park has another interview up, this time with Arianny Celeste. I gotta hand it to Ariel, he manages to politely bully a lot of information out of people. Perhaps I should try his interviewing style because my style usually ends up with the person breaking down in tears and hanging up on me (that was Rory Singer). Of course, that’s still more polite than when MMAJunkie called Arianny ‘borderline retarded’ … oh, to think it was a mere year ago that Dann was letting his jerk flag fly. I miss that.

As for Arianny, the only questions she wasn’t asked was “Is Arianny Celeste really your real name for real? Because it sounds fake and porn-starish”. There were a few questions right at the beginning regarding the rules of fighters dating ring girls. Oh, and she said she was no longer dating Josh Burkman (old news), and went as far to say “Ew” when Ariel asked her if he was still a favorite fighter of hers. COLD.

Here’s a quote regarding all that shit:

“I’ve hung out with fighters, I’m friends with a lot of fighters, so I’ve broken that rule. I’m not with Josh Burkman and according to the internet I’ve dated a lot of people from Rampage to Henderson to GSP but it’s all rumors. I have a lot of friends and I’m not gonna stop hanging out with them because of what the internets say. I enjoy life and that’s it.”

I love how the new codeword for “I like sex and sleep with lots of guys” is “I enjoy life”. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with “enjoying life” … in fact, I think all girls should “enjoy life” more. Over here in North America we’re still pretty stuffy about that shit. I was over in Australia a few years back and that opened my eyes to what girls “enjoying life” is really all about. And let me tell you … it’s fucking AWESOME.

I tried to figure out several different ways of reporting the news that Thales Leites was out of his bout with Nate Marquardt but i just couldn’t manage to make myself give a shit. No disrespect to Thales, I just don’t know enough about him at this point to care. I vaguely remember his quick wins over Floyd Sword and Ryan Jensen, but it’s all just a blur. Why oh why must I drink myself stupid whenever I watch the UFC?

Anyways, this story has taken an interesting turn because the UFC has gotten Jeremy ‘Gumby’ Horn to fill in. Horn was ‘the shit’ a few years back until he seemed to get burned out and started phoning in performances for paychecks. But who can blame the guy? He’s had well over a hundred fights … I know most ‘factual’ websites like to stick to the Fight Finder for their stats but you just know the guy was traveling the earth back in the day battling it out like Kane in Kung Fu. That shit doesn’t make it into the Fight Finder, just like Houston Alexander’s weekly kumite outings didn’t either.

I’m fucking hyped to see what Horn does with this second chance at stardom. If there’s anyone who deserves to make it in the UFC, if only as a crafty veteran gatekeeper, it’s Jeremy Horn. Let the dude make some good coin off fights and bonuses so he can retire and avoid the same fate as Dan Severn, who’s fifty-something and still fighting every other week for some Rib Shack sponsored promotion in the mid-west.

(oh, image is from Northwest Fight Scene, which is an awesome site that you gotta check out if you live anywhere around there so you can catch Dan Severn next time he’s nearby.)

Pramit Mohapatra got in touch with Melvin Guillard a few days ago, which was a good idea because Melvin is always an entertaining guy with about 500 things to say. Quotes from this interview are already floating all over other MMA sites, but they’re all missing the best quote of all. Any time a fighter talks about “nuts on neck” action, you better believe we’ll post about it here at Fightlinker:

No, I can never understand that and nobody is ever going to make me understand that. He disrespected me after the fight. He put his nuts on the back of my head. When I catch him, I’m going to kick him in his [expletive deleted] nuts.

I can’t look at that and respect that. Because of the beef we have? Naw, I can’t. That’s honestly like me seeing him next time … and I spit in his face. My dad always told me if a man spit on you or slapped you, [expletive deleted] kill him. And if he put his nuts on my head on national TV, I’m going to [expletive deleted] kill him, period.

So, there’s no way I’m ever going to overlook that and be like, “Naw, it’s cool because we were having problems.” Hell no. I ain’t ever gonna let another man do that to me and get away with it.

Melvin seems to be one of those bullies from High School who thinks it’s okay to do whatever the fuck they want to you, but the second you do anything to them they just explode. As far as I’m concerned, as soon as you sucker punch someone you open the floodgates to all sorts of surprise retaliation, such as the aforementioned nuts-on-neck-gate.

When you think about that, it’s a pretty primal thing to do … I’m sure Desmond Morris would have a few things to say about the symbolism of such an act in relation to the animal world.

When I heard EliteXC was looking to stick Paul “Semtex” Daley on one of their cards, I was pretty excited. Paul is an exciting dude who can kick some serious ass, and his girlfriend is hot to boot. Originally they were gonna put Daley up against Mike Aina, who nearly upset Nick Diaz a few months back. But Aina got hurt, and now we’re stuck with Sam fucking Morgan.

The last time anyone saw Sam, he was in Strikeforce as the latest hand picked opponent for Cung Le to pick apart. As a can, he’s a great choice. He’ll make for an entertaining fight and quite possibly an impressively devastating knockout. But I wanted to see if Daley was the real deal, so I’m kinda annoyed. Like I said when I was breaking down the April UFN, good fights answer questions. The only question this fight answers is “Is EliteXC thin on talent?”

Oh, one area EliteXC’s got a bunch of talent in is with their photography, which is done by the very wonderful Esther Lin. Check out her stuff and show sum respec’

Eugh, I feel so dirty. Not minutes after I talked about the IFL being dumb for competing with the UFC over Feb 29 / March 1st weekend, I stumbled upon a Kevin Iole article where he said the same fucking thing. Agreeing with Kevin certainly makes me feel very strange, although I suppose considering the amount of garbage we both spew it was bound to happen sooner or later.

To cleanse my palate of this situation, I’ve decided to take something else he wrote about in his article and shit on it. One of his readers was asking about the idea of MMA as an Olympic sport and Kevin said ‘it was an idea that made sense’. LOL HES SO STUPID!!!11

I would really like to know exactly how in hell MMA would work at the Olympics. God knows they totally vagina-cized boxing, turning it into four 2 minute rounds with opponents wearing gigantor sparring helmets. If the people running the Olympics think boxing is too brutal, I can’t even imagine how they would react to MMA.

Better to just try and get submission grappling or something in there, or how about actually paying attention to the disciplines of MMA already included, like wrestling or Judo? Wha? Huh? You’ve never checked that out? Yeah, I forgot that no one actually cares about the Olympics any more.

Bonus Factual Error by Kevin: Kevin claimed “The number one sticking point for Fedor was money. Secondarily, he wanted to compete in the World Sambo Championship and the UFC didn’t want to allow it.” Of course, anyone who isn’t a shit for brains UFC lackey knows that the UFC was offering the most money, but their contract was brutally restrictive and had clauses which forced Fedor to renew his contract indefinitely if he was champion, plus allowed the UFC to dump him at any time for any reason. In short, it was the “Bend over and take it like a bitch” contract, not money.

Super bonus shill points go to whoever sent in this ‘question’ to Iole’s mailbag:

Kevin, I just wanted to rave about your articles. I love how they are crisp and flow the way they do. I’m a huge fan of MMA (since the mid-90’s) and read everything I can get my hands on. Your work is probably the best on the subject. We just seem to get a little more info in your articles than with other writers on the subject. Your last story “Always a Fighter” with Wanderlei Silva was great.

I wish I could say I was the one who wrote this and it was all a big joke to celebrate Opposite Day, where you say the exact opposite of whatever you really mean to say. But alas, I have to hope some other trickster beat me to the punch. Otherwise let this be proof that the human race is getting dumber.

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