I love Matt Hughes … he’s such a fucking bastard. Lots of people seem to take offense to this fact because he’s also pretty hardcore Christian, but hey … Jesus never said “Don’t be a prick”. Besides, I bet if you asked Matt Hughes if he was a dick, he’d probably say he preferred to be considered a ‘straight-shooter’. Check out this excerpt from his book where he’s doing some ‘straight shooting’ with Tim Sylvia (or just skim to the parts I highlighted, because they’re delightfully evil):
“Tim Sylvia walked over to me during practice. His back was hunched a bit, like Pat’s is, but Pat I could look in the face.
‘Can I talk to you a second?’ he asked.
“Sure thing.” He led me into an office and we sat down on two chairs.
“No one here’s got a problem with me except you,” he began.
“When I first started, Jens would say I’m a fat piece of s*** who’s never going to amount to anything, and he’d get me crying, but now even Jens likes me. Is there a problem?”
He was waiting for me to tell him there was a big misunderstanding or to apologise, like I wasn’t aware of what I was doing.
“Yeah, I really don’t like you,” I told him.
“I’m actually hurt to hear you say that. I’ve been a huge fan of yours for a long time and I’ve been trying to model myself on some of your work ethics, and the way Jens works out and stuff like that, and it’s too bad you feel like this.
“There’s nothing more that I want than to be accepted by you and the rest of the guys.”
“You don’t become accepted by buying yourself a ticket to Vegas, following us around while we’re there when no one really invited you, and then crying – again – when Jens calls you out on it.”
“Is there anything I can do to be friends with you?”
“Well, right now I have enough friends and I don’t need any more friends,” I said. “Is that it? Are we done here?”
He let out a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Good.” I got up and left.
Oh man … BRUTAL. Matt Hughes paints Tim as that annoying kid who just hangs around all the time that no one likes. And while most hearty Christian stories end with the outsider learning some life lessons and being included in the fold, this one ends with Matt Hughes basically saying “Fuck you you fucking crybaby bitch!” Now that’s a heartwarming Christmas story for your hearth!
Props to fellow jackal Dragomort for digging the excerpt up!