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With PRIDE as close to dead and buried as it’ll ever get, Zach Arnold has been sniffing around looking for more scandals from the land of the rising sun. Asian scandals are Zach’s specialty … he’s pretty much the only guy bothering with this shit while everyone else just covers the events and results. Booooring. Perhaps someday Zach and Jordan Breen will team up like an MMA Starsky and Hutch to create comprehensive Asiatic news coverage.

This week’s dirt is on K1’s shoddy treatment of Koreans. The article sums up all the facts … I just want to explain to you a bit about how things work with Asians. It’s not one big love in, let me tell you. Even though they’re all slanty eyed yellow skinned rice eaters, there’s a very clear racial hierarchy in effect over there.

The Japanese are ‘on top’, they hate everyone. Next it’s the Chinese, then Koreans, and then Vietnamese and then all the other mutts. The level of hatred and racism varies … again, the Japanese are the most racist of the bunch. A short 50 years ago they were up in the rest of Asia’s asses, shooting everyone, raping, pillaging, and cutting people’s heads off with Samurai swords and shit. Now the racism is thinly hidden under the surface but still erupts when, for example, a Korean fighter beats up a Japanese legend.

So it’s really no surprise to me that K1 (a Japanese company) is being accused of shortchanging Koreans, feeding them to their Japanese stars, and generally all the behavior you’d expect from a culture that still refers to Koreans as ‘sub-humans’.

We keep hearing that boxing is stupid and they shot themselves in the foot, shin, knee, thigh, crotch, stomach, neck, and face. But how often do you really get a glimpse in the madness that sunk the sport? Check this shit out:

Many observers agree that the increased number of weight classes in boxing has been a real turn off for fans. The World Boxing Council sanction titles at seventeen different weights. These range from Minimumweight (below 105 pounds) to Heavyweight (over 200 pounds). The UFC has five weight divisions, ranging from Lightweight (145 to 155 pounds) to Heavyweight (205 to 265 pounds).

The early UFCs were open weight affairs and the promotion has shown little interest in introducing smaller weight classes. Boxing has eleven weight classes below 147 pounds. Although greed has undoubtedly played a part in the creation of additional weight classes in boxing, there is a genuine safety issue, particularly in a striking sport.

Seventeen different weight classes. Seventeen! And for those of you who don’t think Gary Shaw is evil, peep this: he’s already doing all sorts of whack shit with weird weight classes and catch weights. Honestly I’m not a huge fan of weight classes. I get ‘the point’ of them, but I have no idea what the fuck is going on in Shaw’s head having 155 and 165 pound divisions. The last thing we need is more ways to divide talent up so they never get to fight eachother.

You know, I’m starting to feel unloved here. All around me people are being sued by Zuffa, yet I haven’t even been contacted by their lawyers. I got really excited yesterday when someone served me with papers, but that was just about something between Loretta Hunt and me. Something private. And sexual. And possibly federal.

Today’s lawsuit (or rather last week’s … sorry I’ve been dealing with a bad rash) involves the website UFCTakedown.com. Apparently the naughty boys over there were posting up youtube and dailymotion videos of UFC fights. And while there’s nothing technically illegal about that, there’s also apparently nothing illegal about crushing small websites with the threat of a long and expensive lawsuit either.

So on account of all those murky linking laws and murky intellectual property laws, UFCTakedown.com decided to move over to MMATakedown.net where the UFC’s team of lawyers will obviously never find them again. They aren’t the only ones who have packed up their bags and moved off their UFC URLs … UFC Countdown is now Fight Countdown and of course UFC Junkie is now known as MMA Junkie. No word on if I get a refund for my UFCJunkie.com shirt, which I now just use as a doggie-pad for my Collie when she’s on her period.

Me? I’m getting a bit pissed off that I can’t get a fucking lawsuit thrown my way. So we’ll be moving to UFCLinker.com this weekend. Well, we would be if the UFC stopped fucking around and crushed the rest of their competition. Just like in Highlander, there can only be one. Until then I guess we’ll just stay here and think of more inventive ways to get sued. Maybe if we started talking shit about Xyience?

We’re switching to bigger stronger faster server this weekend, probably sometime early Saturday night. So just a heads up that there might be some site downtime but I’ve got professionals on hand in case shit gets hairy.

Yeah, you heard me. The site operator of BloodyElbow.com is steering his website without a pair in his pants. How do I know this? Because he’s always picking the safe bets on UFC fights. For example, he thinks Diego ‘Tiger’ Sanchez is gonna beat Jon ‘I hate my life and have to wash dishes to make ends meet’ Fitch. While this is a reasonable assumption for the average TUF noob, I was expecting better from you, Luke.

So to help him learn a lesson and hopefully stimulate the growth of some nuts, I’m throwing down the gauntlet: Let’s make a bet. When Jon Fitch wins, you’ll have to record the following statement that I get to play on my radio show:

Hi, I’m Luke Thomas and I’m a recovering TUF Noob. I used to have a brain when it came to mixed martial arts but then I got blinded by Diego Sanchez’ beautiful eyes and sexy Mexicano moustache. Entranced by his feminine grace on the Ultimate Fighter, I forgot that all guys from TUF are losers like me and will never accomplish anything in life. I made the ultimate mistake in betting against Fightlinker (who’s always right about everything), and now I have to record this message to say: I’m stupid and have no balls, but I’m trying to be sweet and totally awesome like Fightlinker. I’ll never bet on Diego Sanchez again, unless it is in some kind of homosexual rodeo competition. Fightlinker is God, I am scum.

Luke, if by some miraculous fluke my guy dies of a aneurysm or blows out his knee or God really is on Diego’s side and smites Fitch with a lightning bolt, you can have whatever you want. Name your wager and I’ll take it. This shit is on like Donkey Kong.

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