Before we get started, I just want to say I only refered to Jenna Jameson as a whore for shock value. While on a technical level she ‘fits the bill’, I’m all right with her. It’s the hip thing to hate on Jenna Jameson, and I’m just not down with that. Just because she knows her way around a cock doesn’t mean she wouldn’t whup all of your asses in chess, Risk, Twister, or whatever game of skill you happen to use to measure intellect.
Anyways, back when the UFC did it’s Miramar Fight Night event, they invited Tito Ortiz to a big pre-event bash on base. Then they cancelled the invitation when they heard he wanted to bring Jenna Jameson with him. More specifically, Tito said he was bringing her, and some asshole commander said no. Tito then said fuck you guys, if I can’t bring my trophy pornstar I ain’t coming. No word on if this is the same asshole commander who also said no to other sexy things Marines enjoy like armored humvees and proper bulletproof vests.
Thank God the USO doesn’t have the same standards as the Marines. I heard their last World Gala had some chick from Thailand who does things with a pingpong ball you’ll never forget. This year they had to settle for Tito, Jenna, and that foreign guy from That 70’s show.
I gotta hand it to them though. Considering all the flag waving soldier supporting rhetoric everyone spews out nowadays, Tito and Jenna actually go out and get the shit done. What the fuck have you done other than put an American flag bumper sticker on your car? Or for our poor ethnic readers, enlisted half your family and lost two siblings over the course of the Surge. You might even be reading this shit in Iraq right now. According to Google Analytics, someone from over there is. And I’m hoping it’s not THE TERRORISTS.
**UPDATE** I changed ‘poor black readers’ to ‘poor ethnic readers’ … the trend amongst army recruiters now has shifted to focus largely upon hispanics, so I thought I would adjust my comment accordingly. And for those who think I’m racist for saying that, what’s worse: pretending the army isn’t targeting poor ethnic minorities or pointing that fact out?