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Word is that Evan Tanner’s comeback opponent will be none other than Yushin Okami AKA the world’s most boring fighter in the universe ever. I know Tanner is always saying we have to ‘believe in the power of one’, but Yushin Okami believes in the power of holding you down with superior wrestling and grinding out the most boring decisions this side of Sean Sherk.

This is just like Aliens vs Predator 2 all over again. I get all hyped up thinking something is going to rock and then God throws a monkey wrench into things and totally wrecks what I thought was an unwreckable concept. And just like Hollywood somehow managed to fuck up Aliens fighting Predators on Earth, the UFC is now setting shit up to fuck up Evan Tanner’s comeback. How can they do this? It’s practically obscene. They need to be stopped.

A while back we heard rumors that Fedor vs Hong Man Choi would be fought under special rules. Of course, we all assumed these special rules would be beneficial to Hong Man Choi … like a 1 minute standup rule or something. Well, the special rules have just been announced and it actually looks like they benefit Fedor!

The “Yarennoka! New Year’s Eve 2007″ main event featuring Fedor Emelianenko (26-11) vs. Hong-Man Choi (1-0) will not include any knee strikes.

The rule difference is due to the weight discrepancy between the two participants. Fedor weighs in around 225 pounds while Choi, standing at 7-feet-2-inches, has weighed in around 352-367 pounds.

That’s right, Choi will not be allowed to use his knees in this fight. Considering the fact that clinch + knees were probably the only way he was going to be able to win this fight, it’s a pretty big setback for the Techno Goliath. No word yet on if Hong Man knew about this rule when he signed the contract to fight, or if it’s another classic last second rule switchup. Only in Japan, baby!

Latest news out of the land of wind and spirits is that Korean silver medalist Jung Bukyung will step up and take on Shinya Aoki. Bukyung won his medal in Judo at the 2000 Olympics, and has hopefully spent some of the following 7 years training in some kind of ground fighting, or I expect this fight will last all of 2 minutes. Actually, I still expect this fight to last all of 2 minutes. Here’s a play by play: Bukyang throws Aoki, Aoki chokes Bukyang out from the bottom. The end! I’d just love to see the betting lines on these fights if any sportsbook was retarded enough to take matches like this seriously.

Word is that this fight plus a match between Roman Zentsov vs. Mike Russow is rounding out the card at 8 fights, and that’s it that’s all folks. No word on what the fuck happened to Fedor’s little brother Aleks … couldn’t they find him a washed up Sumo fighter or something to trounce?

Here’s your Yarennoka fight card complete with fighting order:

Fight 1: Roman Zentsov vs. Mike Russow
Fight 2: Makoto Takimoto vs. Murilo Bustamante
Fight 3: Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Luis Azeredo
Fight 4: Mitsuhiro Ishida vs. Gilbert Melendez
Fight 5: Hayato Sakurai vs. Hidehiko Hasegawa
Fight 6: Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Kazuo Misaki
Fight 7: Shinya Aoki vs. Jung Bukyung
Fight 8: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Hong-man Choi

I love Matt Hughes … he’s such a fucking bastard. Lots of people seem to take offense to this fact because he’s also pretty hardcore Christian, but hey … Jesus never said “Don’t be a prick”. Besides, I bet if you asked Matt Hughes if he was a dick, he’d probably say he preferred to be considered a ‘straight-shooter’. Check out this excerpt from his book where he’s doing some ‘straight shooting’ with Tim Sylvia (or just skim to the parts I highlighted, because they’re delightfully evil):

“Tim Sylvia walked over to me during practice. His back was hunched a bit, like Pat’s is, but Pat I could look in the face.

‘Can I talk to you a second?’ he asked.

“Sure thing.” He led me into an office and we sat down on two chairs.

“No one here’s got a problem with me except you,” he began.

“When I first started, Jens would say I’m a fat piece of s*** who’s never going to amount to anything, and he’d get me crying, but now even Jens likes me. Is there a problem?”

He was waiting for me to tell him there was a big misunderstanding or to apologise, like I wasn’t aware of what I was doing.

“Yeah, I really don’t like you,” I told him.

“I’m actually hurt to hear you say that. I’ve been a huge fan of yours for a long time and I’ve been trying to model myself on some of your work ethics, and the way Jens works out and stuff like that, and it’s too bad you feel like this.

There’s nothing more that I want than to be accepted by you and the rest of the guys.

“You don’t become accepted by buying yourself a ticket to Vegas, following us around while we’re there when no one really invited you, and then crying – again – when Jens calls you out on it.

“Is there anything I can do to be friends with you?”

“Well, right now I have enough friends and I don’t need any more friends,” I said. “Is that it? Are we done here?”

He let out a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Good.” I got up and left.

Oh man … BRUTAL. Matt Hughes paints Tim as that annoying kid who just hangs around all the time that no one likes. And while most hearty Christian stories end with the outsider learning some life lessons and being included in the fold, this one ends with Matt Hughes basically saying “Fuck you you fucking crybaby bitch!” Now that’s a heartwarming Christmas story for your hearth!

Props to fellow jackal Dragomort for digging the excerpt up!

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