Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about the teleconference with Dana White, chock full of newsy goodness (seriously, check the link … it’s the longest and most complete breakdown of the call out there). Well, I’ll let you read it yourselves, but I just wanted to comment on the best burn ever:
“He’s such a pussy, he’s a pussy. He cries about everything. Shut up, Tito. Show up and fight and do what you’re supposed to do. This kid would step over a dollar to pick up a dime. It’s unbelievable.”
While I don’t know how good of an idea it is constantly mocking and dissing one of your main guys, I do find it entertaining. I look forward to Bad Blood 2 where Tito and Dana face off and tell Yo’ Mama jokes. First person to cry loses. BRING IT ON!
After his frustrating loss to fluffy blanket Carmelo Marrero, everyone prayed that Cheik Kongo would go get some wrestling skills. Unfortunately he wasn’t much better for his next fight with Assuerio Silva. While he eeked out a decision, Silva rode him like a pony on the ground. Joe Rogan spent the entire fight repeating “If Kongo had ground skills, he’d be unstoppable. If Kongo had ground skills, he’d be unstoppable.” Thank God, it seems like Kongo is out learning some ground skills. From one of the millions of interviews with Quinton Jackson comes this tidbit:
Who was up in camp?
A lot of people. Jeremy Williams the pro boxer, Cheick Kongo, James Ervin, Scott Smith, Lunchbox, Hercules, Dave Roberts also known as the chin, Zach Light, Coach Juanito, Junior helping with Jiu Jitsu, and Coach Chris Reiley. Jeremy Williams and Cheick took turns kicking my ass, I think they had side wagers on who could damage me the most. Jeremy gave me some ohwee knots, for everybody that don’t what they are it’s when people say ohwee who put those knots on your head. And Congo tried to knee my stomach out my ass!!
When it comes to learning wrestling, there’s no better place than the ambiguously named Big Bear camp. Before this, I do believe Kongo was training exclusively in France with a bunch of pussy ass kickboxers. France is full of the best MMA fighters in the world, it makes sense. Oh wait, no it’s not. No one in France knows anything about fighting on the ground. I heard that one time the Gracies went over to France and used their jiu-jitsu to overthrow the government. That was called the French Revolution or some shit. True story.
Apparently everyone in the gambling world is banking on Josh Burkman to beat Karo Parysian. This just goes to show you that the human race as a whole is retarded. You have to be pretty fucking dumb to think Josh “Mr Potato Head” Burkman has any chance against a pissed and greasy Parisyan. Let’s make one thing clear: Karo is going to judo throw Burkman so hard he’s going to fall into another dimension. Then he’s going to bring THE HEAT and finish baldy off. End of story. No more debate. If you’ve got money on Burkman, post in the comments because i have a bridge in Brooklyn that’s for sale. It’s called the Stupid Fucking Moron Bridge. And I’ll sell it to you for the low low price of “You’re dumb”
No, not that kind of TV deal, stupid. TV manufacturer SOYO has teamed up with Andrei Arlovski to push this:
the launch of the first ever and limited-edition “Pitbull Series” LCD HDTV. Available in 32-, 37-, and 42-inch sizes, the marketing breakthrough features a custom startup screen and special edition Andrei Arlovski merchandise. A limited number of televisions will be signed by Arlovski and will be delivered randomly.
SOYO and Andrei are a fitting teamup: they’re both known for being inconsistent and disappointing.
Hat Tip: UFC Countdown
From the always fun Rumors and Innuendo Department comes this completely unsubstantiated report on the status of K1′s license and the medicals of Hong Man Choi and Sakuraba:
Firstly, Choi Hong Man failed his medical check because doctors discovered a growth either in his brain or right below it. The growth, coincidentally is located right next to his pituitary gland! Doctors have no ideal how long this growth has been there, but if left unchecked, Choi Hong Man could develop a disease called acromegaly! Pressure on the pituitary gland results in excessive production of human growth hormone (HGH) resulting in extreme growth!
Naturally, K-1 has gotten a second and third opinion of Choi’s condition (both positive). They are now in negotiations with CSAC.
Next, Sakuraba actually did pass his MRI. His failures resulted from an abnormality detected during this EKG (heart) examination. He is going for follow-up checks today.
Finally, K-1′s promoters license is pending. More than likely, it’ll come through, albiet last-minute. Right now they are scrambling a bit to guarantee all the fighters purses in advance. I am not sure how this works exactly, but I heard that the purses had to be “insured.” Or perhaps it was “ensured,” which would be a different matter altogether. In any case, K-1 does have the money, so it should just be a matter of time.
The irony here would be if Sakuraba’s brain is okay but his heart was not.