Yeah, everyone’s talking like Babalu is gonna ‘lose his job’ or get fined some retarded amount of money. Truth of the matter is the worst Nevada will be able to do is fine him up to $5000 and maybe suspend him for up to 6 months. And guess what? Knowing Babalu (we spent a wonderful summer together at band camp, or Acampamento da Faixa as it’s called in South America), this is probably going to be his response:

NSAC: We hereby suspend you for 3 months and fine you $2000 for choking David Heath out after your bout was over.

Babalu: Can I get a receipt for the fine? I want to frame it and put it on my wall.

Babalu isn’t rich enough to not care at all, but I have no doubt he’s going to consider it money well spent. Past getting to choke out a guy he doesn’t like, he’s also no longer known as “That guy who got tooled by Chuck Liddell”. Just like Tim Sylvia upgraded from “That guy who shit his pants” to “That boring guy no one likes”, I think “That guy who practically murdered David Heath” is a step up for Babalu, even if this whole fiasco is just a lot of hot air.

For all it’s intensity and attitude, originality in MMA is scarce. You got all these fighters coming in with the same kind of tattoos and the same stupid dye jobs and the same stupid pre-fight diatribes. And then the MMA ‘media’ all takes the same news and rewrites it 50 times on 50 different sites. Trust me on this … I suffer through that many MMA websites a day digging for nuggets of humor, so I see first hand how regurgitated the scene is.

So when I see something new and interesting, I like to give it some props. Even when that something is really weird and bizarre. Today’s example is ‘MMA Stick Figures’. Here’s the description:

Stick Figure MMA: A Tribute to MMA through what I do best… Stick Figure and MSPaint Art. I have the talent of a 7 year old but I do my best, and my mother told that’s all that matters. I don’t really report breaking news, I just write reviews and draw pictures.

I don’t really know what to make of the site … it seems pretty straight forward and earnest but I don’t really understand the point. Perhaps drawing these pictures is therapeutic for the guy … it may drive away the desire to kill or tide him over between masturbation sessions. From his writing he seems to be a pretty smart individual … past the weird Microsoft Paint obsession you’d never know he probably lives in a trailer and eats squirrels for dinner.

Anyways, here’s his myspace page to boot. As I said before, I don’t really ‘get’ his shtick, but then again no one seemed to ‘get’ my Homo’s Guide to UFC74 either. So congrats to this guy for at least doing something that isn’t being done 500 times already.

Luke Thomas is reporting another scoop: Matt Hughes and Robbie Lawler may be leaving Miletich Fighting Systems and opening their own gym in St Louis. Of course, the last time Luke donned his investigative reporter’s fedora, he ended up with some egg on his face. But considering Pat is apparently an evil man and his mats are infected with something out of a bad Robin Cook novel, this could definately be true. Plus, don’t forget Matt and Robbie have been super buddy buddy lately, with Matt letting Robbie touch his pistol.

Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: If Luke is wrong I will never ever believe anything else that fat stinky fibber ever says again. Forever. The End.

From an interview with MMA Madness comes the shocking news that Din Thomas spent a year’s worth of weekends in the clink for beating up a dude:

Thomas: Yeah, so I was going to try and walk on at one of those schools. But at the time I was with my girlfriend, and ya know, a 17-year-old kid should never have a steady girlfriend. So, she broke up with me at the time and started messing around with another dude, and boom, ya know? I just couldn’t take it and I ended up beating the dog crap out of this guy and ended up going to jail for a little while. My sentence was actually 50 weekends in jail. So every Friday I had to go into jail and come out on Sunday.

MMA Madness: What!?

Thomas: Yeah, so, that gave me a LOT of time to think. (Laughs) So, during that time I was like, “You know what? Never again will I fight in the street.” That also attributed to the fact, if I’m going to fight, it’s going to be legal. And here I am today.

Well, I’m glad Din figured out how to channel his aggressions legally. It takes a lot of ‘dog crap’ to get a year’s worth of weekends for assault when you’re 17. When I was a minor I threw my little sister off an overpass and all they did to me was send me to a psychiatric institute! That was okay … the ice cream was nice but I did not like it that much when they put pills in my butt.


(Picture by Dave Mandel)

With the exception of my fantasy best friend Ken Shamrock, I fucking hate it when MMA and pro wrestling get mixed up. If I hear one more story about Kurt Angle or Brock Lesnar getting into MMA I’m going to castrate someone with a cheese grater. And the whole Dana White = Vince McMahon thing is stupid … kids, let it go and grow up.

Dana isn’t Vince, Chuck isn’t Steve Austin, and I don’t know who you think is Owen Hart but I cross my fingers it’s Matt Serra so we can drop him off the roof of an arena too. So just stop the fucking comparisons, everyone. You’ve spent so much time being brainwashed by the WWE that you’re taking tenuous similarities and blowing them up into proof that Dana White stole his business model playbook from the smouldering wreckage of Vince McMahon’s limo. Well news flash: he didn’t.

Anyways, this is a post about Josh Barnett. Up until this point I haven’t had anything negative to say about Josh past his love handles and titties. But I stand in the mirror and cry about my man boobs too, so I’ll cut Josh some slack on that front. But now Josh is knee deep in pro wrestling again, and it appears he’s trying to use some wrestling antics to gain himself some press. If you haven’t read it, here’s what he wrote on his myspace:

Let’s get straight to it and say that Randy did a phenomenal job at UFC 74 in defending his title. As a fan and a fellow Washingtonian I was happy to see him win. But as for the title itself — it still sits in my house. No one in UFC ever beat me for it, and as far as I am concerned, no one in the UFC can be the heavyweight champion until they take that belt off of me in the cage.

At the post fight press conference, Dana White said “there isn’t anyone in the world that can beat this guy” in reference to Randy. All this because Randy beat a guy that had less than ten fights and only one noteworthy win? That’s not even a world championship level fight, let alone reason to proclaim the winner as “unbeatable”. This comment was made even more ridiculous by the fact that I was standing right there, living proof that Randy Couture is definitely beatable.

“Unbeatable”, Dana says. If he actually believes that, I’m more than willing to step into the cage and prove him wrong. It wouldn’t even have to be for the belt. I already got the real belt. They can keep their pile of brass they purport as the UFC Heavyweight Title and put it on their next paper champ.

This letter has basically pissed off everyone, and I can’t say I disagree with the masses. The obvious reason for being ticked is the fact that Josh Barnett’s belt was tainted by his failed steroids test. 5 years in Japan afterwards doesn’t exactly help your reputation as a clean fighter either … I remember when Josh showed up for the first US Pride show, everyone was holding their breath on him clearing his steroid test (Barnett was forced to pee in several cups to get relicensed).

For me, I don’t really care about that. I’ve said it before … if crazy genetically modified freaks want to beat it out in the ring for my amusement I’m happy to tune in and watch. If one genetically modified freak wants to smash up an elderly man, that’s even better!

What I’m not down with is having a fighter like Josh who generally seems like such a nice guy downplay the accomplishments of Randy Couture. Josh has always had an ego but it usually manifested itself in less disrespectful ways. Stirring the pot by calling Randy Couture a paper champion is bound to put you in the doghouse along with Babalu as far as MMA fans are concerned.

Of course, I don’t doubt this is all just part of a general plan to get back into the limelight. If Dana takes the bait (and Dana does seem to mark out on all things PRIDE related), it’ll be worth it to see Josh back in action. However, considering how prominent steroids are as a topic of interest and Josh’s dubious history on that issue, I don’t know if anything will happen.

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