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Just thought I would point out that Denny Burkholder over at CBS Sportsline got a new author’s picture that makes him look slightly less like a grinning pineapple than before. I still have to wonder thought if a nasty chinstrap beard is a job requirement over at the Sportsline.

For those of you who didn’t know, the essence of journalism is to report facts and to present a specific angle. That’s why you can have several different newspapers in one area reporting the same thing but coming to different conclusions. MMA’journalism’ is no different … we’re all working with the same facts, but we all put our own spin on things.

Kevin Iole covers the “Dana’s hairy balls in my mouth” angle. That fat fuck Goldman covers the “I hate the UFC because I’m a fat fuck” angle. I take care of the “I have chronic pain from a leg injury so I’m mean to everyone” angle. Wait … is that me, or House? That show rocks. I totally have an addiction to medical shows. Or do I have an addiction to Vicodin? Yeah … Vicodin. It’s yummy in my tummy.

Anyways, there are good angles, and there are dumb angles. Today we’re gonna look at a good article with a dumb angle: Gregg Doyel’s peice on how fucking dumb judges are. He breaks down the Keystone Kops sideshow that was scoring at UFC 77 and how the judges miscounted points, mispelled fighter names, and awarded the Bonnar/Schafer fight to Schafer dispite the small fact that Schafer kinda ended the fight face down in a pool of his own blood. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration but you get the point.

Now, I’m all on board for handing out some harsh criticism to the people responsible, but Gregg decided to pass the buck on the athletic commission responsible and target Dana White on this one. Fuck, am I ever sick of that. Let’s get something clear : there’s more than enough issues to blame on Dana White that are actually his doing. We don’t have to go around giving him shit for the stuff that’s obviously other people’s fault.

About the only thing I can fault Dana White for in this case is that he doesn’t call these morons out for being … well, for being morons. But this isn’t a case where Dana’s in a great position of power. He doesn’t control the salaries of the guys running the athletic commission. And while I’m sure the Ohio AC enjoys making the money they do off of UFC events, it’s not like they’re getting paid more because of it. So Dana taking the commission to task is a bit of a dangerous proposition … athletic commissions can make life a living fucking hell if they want to, and since Dana’s gonna be back in Ohio in March, it makes sense not to call the OAC a bunch of can’t count third grade flunkies.

On the other hand, there’s no reason Gregg can’t place the blame solely where it belongs. In fact, it makes much more sense for Gregg as an journalist to blow the whistle on this kind of ineptitude and demand something is done. The athletic commission controls the show, they are above the promoter in terms of power. But Gregg is an independant party who can do what he wants without fear of reprisals.

So tell me, Gregg? Why are you pissing all over Dana White when you’re in a much better position to effect change and embarass the OAC than Dana? And what the fuck’s up with that second G at the end of your name? Because if Gregg is short for Gregory then it should be Greg with one g. Stop trying to make yourself better than everyone else with all those fancy extra letters and consonants, buddy.

It’s hard to tell where Rich Franklin is getting raped worse … in the ring or on his paycheck. Sure, I’d get in the ring with Anderson Silva for 45k, but that’s because I don’t already have 45k in my bank account. I imagine Rich probably has 100+ grands squirreled away in his bank account, so all of a sudden the motivation to do this doesn’t seem so great:

“Hey Rich, wanna get your ass kicked by Anderson Silva again?”
“Mmmm, sure.”
“It’ll be extra embarrassing because it’ll be the second time in a row.”
“Plus we’re gonna do the fight in Cincinnati so all your friends and family can see it happen”
“Oh, and it’ll be on your wife’s birthday. Nice little kicker there, huh?”
“And although statistically you’re pretty much guaranteed to lose, try not to … because your career will be fucked if you do.”
“Hey, on second thought, can I change my mind about this fight?”
“Haha, that’s funny. No!”

So it’s finally really 100% for sure confirmed and official: Chuck Liddell and Wanderlei Silva are gonna get it on in da octagon at UFC 79. Dana White made the announcement during a taped bit for the Scream awards. I got an email from the UFC around 1am last night telling me about the 10pm announcement … kudos to Zuffa marketing! Kudos.

Anyways, as soon as I got the email I knew what Dana was gonna say:

  1. As per the terms of their contract, he was having Randy Couture’s brain replaced with the brain of a less rebellious rhesus monkey.
  2. Him and Brock Lesnar were running off to Massachusetts to get married
  3. Wanderlei Silva and Keith Jardine were going to square off in the fight everyone has wanted to see for the last 5 years.

So of course imagine my dissapointment when it wasn’t the worthy Keith who got the nod to fight Wanderlei Silva. Ah well … I guess I’ll take Chuck Liddell. But I mean, jeez … it’s not really all that compelling on paper, is it? These two guys are both fucking losers! Who wants to see losers fight? Not me. I like winners. These guys WERE winners. But now they’re obviously losers. A big sloppy loser-fest, this is. Boo losers.

But don’t worry too much, people. God has obviously shown he does not want this fight to happen. Every time it’s announced or agreed upon, He brings his wrath down on the earth … this time in the form of burning Malibu to a fucking crisp. If this match actually goes down, it’ll be in an octagon buzzing with locusts and Goldberg will be covered (moreso) in boils.

(I wrote this blog the day after UFC77 but forgot to post it … so here it is!)

We still haven’t made it back to Canadia yet, so I haven’t heard if the UFC decided to show the Jason MacDonald vs Yushin Okami fight on the PPV. I really wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. Even though Okami is the most logical choice for #1 contender at middleweight, his win against Jason MacDonald was a snoozer of epic proportions and wouldn’t have earned him a fan in the world.

There’s been whisperings that the UFC actually has no plan to renew Okami’s contract on account of him being the most boring fighter in the universe (Sorry Jake O’Brien – like Fedor, you have to stay active to hold the #1 ranking). While the fact that this fight was a dark match supports that theory, I would be amazed if the UFC had the balls to drop a fighter who’s 5-1, especially considering his position in the anemic middleweight division. If the UFC cut him, they’d basically be creating a new Matt Lindland, who was also cut from the UFC for being as exciting as watching Antiques Roadshow.

The funny thing about the whole Matt Lindland thing is I was happy when they ditched him. He was fucking boring, and so is Yushin Okami. I’ve tried really hard to appreciate the skill and control these guys show in grinding out decisions. I’m a patient guy and I’m willing to give a dude a chance to prove that he’s capable of finishing a fight. But at this point I’m just as done with Okami now as I was with Lindland years ago.

I’d love to see Anderson Silva smash Okami’s face in, but I cringe with fear at the idea of Okami holding Silva down and winning a decision. What a fucking catastrophe that would be (well, it would be a catastrophe for everyone but Rich Franklin). So if the UFC does decide not to renew Okami’s contract, I’m not gonna be one of the people out there in the forums bitching and complaining. Okami might be good at gutting out a win, but he’s a pretty mediocre mixed martial artist overall and I have no use for guys who can’t finish a fight.

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